To ask for help in turning the mess that is my life around for the new year

[fitforflighting]

Have posted under another name as don't want to risk exh linking posts.
Long long story.
Left awful ex some years ago after getting married ridiculously young into what turned out to be an abusive marriage.
Have Gcses and an NVQ but nothing else. First time I went to uni I had to stop because I ended up very seriously ill. Went back under false start rules and abusive then husband forced me to stop going so I cannot retrain at uni.
Now on my own with two children. One who has special needs.

Hate where I live but cannot afford to move.

Have been working self employed for years due to child who has special needs. I myself have arthritis and bladder issues.

Work situation is really crap suddenly. Am living on a very very low amount.
Have just borrowed money from my elderly parents as got home after new year and the electricity had run out.
I have just had to tell SN dc that they can no longer go to the amazing club they love as I I have had to stop it as can no longer afford.

I cannot work anything out of school hours due to sn dc and I cannot find school based hours.

I'm stuck, depressed, five stone overweight, at rock bottom and I need to change my life but do not even know where to begin.

I need ideas on wtf I can do to improve our lives and live rather than exist.

You say your area lacks community support and so you feel isolated. bet you're not the only one. You could put up some flyers in local shops etc and start a new support group for single parents with SEN DC. A friend of mine did that and they still hang out together years later.

Sorry things are so tough at the moment. Have you ever tried mindfulness? May be a helpful step towards planning your next goals. If you talk to your teenagers sw or teacher they may be able to point you in the direction of grants available for clubs or leisure activities. Hope this year is a good one for you all xx

Rented housing - check out Housing Associations in areas you want to move to. You would not be a high priority until you got a job offer or support in that area, but get on the waiting lists for them asap.

Go to Go Fund me and ask for money.
Use social media and keep posting here, someone may be in a position to offer practical help.

Contact the Carers Federation and see what support they can offer.
Contact the support group for your childs disability ditto.

I'm also a massively believer in squeezing as much fun into and out of every day as you can. It doesn't make you richer but it does make you feel like your life is on track. Choose to listen to upbeat music, choose to watch uplifting or funny programmes, ideally with DC so you can laugh together. Keep an eye out for free or super cheap events locally and try and do one each weekend with DC so you get out and about with family. Easier said than done, but if you make the effort even once a month you'll have good times to look back on. Buy a cheap notebook or open a file on your computer and make list of things big and small you want from life - as small as mending a creaky door, as big as going to USA with DC and start to cross off the small or free ones, and make plans for/daydream the big ones.

If you are renting from a council or housing association you can register with . If you are renting privately then contact Shelter for advice on applying for social housing.

Apologies for link fail there but you get the gist!

Are either of your children at a school that does productions? Would you be able to
Volunteer backstage for their next show? Might mean working evenings one week so would depend what childcare is available to you.

Hello and thanks for all the links and advice.

Currently in private let after the landlord of previous property remortgaged and buggered off with the money. Bank repossessed having no idea he had converted the houses into flats or even had tenants.

So now in a one bed flat with two kids as had to move quickly, no garden just a tiny flat.

Council were useless. Been on waiting list years since we fled exh.

Have already volunteered to help with shows as kids could come to but been told that they have the kids do all the tech as they do lamda grades.

But have you updated council about your current situation? 1 bed for the three of you due to ex landlord's behaviour might put you higher up the list. Are there any housing associations near you that might consider you? Do get yourself onto as many lists as you can. Take a long view. Even if it takes five years, it's still worth setting the process in motion now.

On lists every where I can.
Yes the council doesn't consider us over crowded as the children can share and they have included the living room in the calculations (i.e i can and do use living room as a bedroom )

I think you should contact england.shelter.org.uk and get some specific help on your housing.
I also think joining a carers' group could open up benefits advice, advocacy, respite and peer support. If you give me a rough idea of where you live I can do some research.
Finally for now have you thought of am dram? AFAIK there are groups everywhere.