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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask you all what defines a "proper holiday"?

66 replies

FestiveFrumper · 01/01/2016 19:31

FIL has been visiting today . As lovely as he is , he is very much up his own backside .

His way and his things are always best .

Anyway , he asked if we were going on holiday this year .

We said yes and told him we were going to Holland for a week in August .

He was very cats bum face about this and asked when we're going to take the DC on a proper foreign holiday

We've been to France , Germany and holidayed in the U.K. . Apparently these are not "proper foreign holidays".

Now I'm stupidly wondering if my DC are missing out on "proper holidays".

What do you define as a "proper foreign / abroad holiday ?"

OP posts:

Cressandra · 02/01/2016 00:06

Don't let him get to you. He's just being rude, pissing on your chips.

What he or any of us think of as a "proper holiday" is neither here nor there. And anyway, kids have a blast anywhere. It's us adults who care whether we are at home or abroad, catered for or self catering, under canvas or in a luxury hotel, whether culturally enriching or a chance to veg out etc etc.

manicinsomniac · 02/01/2016 02:13

hah, according to half these definitions, being stuck in hospital for a week would be a holiday!

I don't know, it's subjective.

I've been to Brazil multiple times, all around it once, around South America generally and around Southern Africa and India but I wouldn't call any of those trips holidays - they were either travelling or volunteer working, both of which were amazing but hard work and definitely nto restful.

I've also stayed at home for a week and barely left the house and called it a proper holiday.

It's not about where you go for me, it's about your state of mind and level of activity while you're there.

Shodan · 02/01/2016 09:34

I must admit, as I get older my idea of a 'proper' holiday changes. Now I don't consider it a proper holiday if I have to cook, clean, sleep in a bed that is less comfortable than my own...maybe that's what limiting your FIL's imagination?

My younger self was very happy with any kind of break away from home-camping, last-minute 'bargains' to dodgy self-catering places-anything really, in the UK or abroad.

KaraokeQueenOfTheNorth · 02/01/2016 09:41

Oh I love a self catering holiday! I get to stock the fridge and cupboards with all sorts of things I don't generally eat at home. I cook oven pizzas and eat crisps and dip. It's like being in control while being allowed to be out of control

A proper holiday is whatever you want it to be surely. We don't ever leave the UK. I've I still had 2 proper holidays a year for the last 5 years.

Whatsinaname2011 · 02/01/2016 09:47

A proper holiday is one where we don't shop for food or cook. That's my main definition I think. So either a hotel or if self Catering (like centre parcs) we eat out every dinner time.

Ragwort · 02/01/2016 09:49

My idea of a 'proper' holiday is being away from DH and DS - time to myself, to do what I want, rather than facilitating everyone else's holiday . I had that sort of holiday for the first time in years last year and it was utterly, utterly wonderful.

(And if I sound mean & selfish DS and DS also have holidays alone, doing what they want ).

TheSconeOfStone · 02/01/2016 10:10

A holiday for us with DCs aged 8 and 5 is a mix of interesting and/or beautiful places to visit with pool/playgrounds for the kids. We're not willing to go without fun all year to save for AI (we're not loaded) so we self cater. We camped in Belgium last year then had a few days at Disney/Paris. DH cooks when we're on hols. Part of the fun for me is buying lovely local food.

We still have the hard work of child care on hols but camping type holidays are most relaxing as kids can run themselves ragged with other kids and we can sit and drink wine.

Hopefully we can have more of a 'proper' holiday once the DC are older.

OP your holidays sound just up my street. Have fun and ignore FIL. My dad is the same but he never took us on hot beach holidays. He forgets that we didn't have the money back then.

2ndSopranosRule · 02/01/2016 11:13

Sounds a bit like my dad. Since having dc in school we can no longer afford the annual two weeks in a four/five star hotel. We do still take those types of holidays - it's our only real indulgence - but not frequently. In recent years we've had some terrific holidays in the UK and always comment how lucky we are to live in such a beautiful country. This year we're off to Cornwall, Dorset and the Lakes.

My dad can't cope with the idea of a UK holiday and nearly blew his mind when he heard we were staying in a static caravan. He actually asked if it would have electricity and running water.

LadyFannyOfOmaha · 02/01/2016 11:28

I'm with magimedi who describes exactly what a holiday is for me.
I'm off work at the moment, have had house guests since 20 Dec. I'm exhausted, considering a cheap week somewhere in January to chill out.
We've got a house abroad and usually end up with visitors when we go there too, so I don't feel as if that's a holiday either. I sound like a right spoilt cow.

Trills · 02/01/2016 11:30

My uncle once "told off" my dad for not taking me and my brother on "proper holidays".

His family went to Greece or Spain to beach resorts.

We went to Devon or Cornwall and camped.

We couldn't have afforded Greece even if we'd wanted to.

He was being a massive twat about "experiences", but his kids mainly went to kids' clubs and hung out in the pool.

We hadn't had those experiences, but we had surfed at Newquay, and taken the funicular railway at Lynton and Lynmouth, and visited ancient stone rings that we'd happened upon while walking the dogs.

Narp · 02/01/2016 11:30

A proper holiday is where you go away from your home and relax

Trills · 02/01/2016 11:31

Personally as an adult I LOVE a bit of sunlounger and book time, but it's very narrow-minded to think that you can tell someone else that their holiday is not "proper".

tomatodizzy · 02/01/2016 12:41

A holiday is getting away from everyday life and relaxing. You can even have a holiday at home, as long as you relax and do things that are not your everyday life.

Anotherusername1 · 02/01/2016 16:20

A proper holiday is whatever you want it to be. I like to go to places I know I will enjoy - not too much adventure, not too hot, somewhere interesting, nice food and preferably somewhere I can speak the local language to some degree or know people will speak English (or another language I speak). And not somewhere that gets too busy. Italy, Germany, Scotland and the Channel Islands fit the bill very well.

I'd enjoy a holiday in the Netherlands. I would not enjoy a beach holiday. And I wouldn't enjoy camping.

Hygellig · 02/01/2016 18:24

I remember my mum once saying she didn't want a third year without a proper holiday. We had had one week staying in a caravan in a friend's back garden in Wales and another year in a B&B in Glencoe, neither of which were relaxing or had good weather.

BlackeyedShepherdsbringsheep · 02/01/2016 20:33

anything where I do not take mother. our proper holiday was five nights at easter away in a self catering place.

our weeks holiday with mother was not a holiday it was hard work.

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