to not babysit when visiting?

[vanillaessence04]

Background: I once travelled 6 hours round trip to see my sister and family (nephews then aged 1 and 6) - and ended up only seeing them for a couple hours, as sis whisked kids into bed and sis/dp went on date. Obviously, kids fell asleep and so my 'visit' quickly became me watching tv by myself. The issue has come up again now that she has two more little ones with a different partner (boys age 1 and 3, the others mentioned above are now independent 15 and 20). This time I said no to babysitting but spent time with them of course and happy to look after if parents nearby. My nephews are difficult to be around (I love them but not their behaviour) as sis/dp parenting style is without boundaries etc. since when is it ok to assume visiting relatives will look after your kids - and at short notice? I want to play with nieces/nephews, not stop them killing each other wipe bottoms or monitor their behaviour or whatever. How dull for all involved. what would you do?

[AppleSetsSail]

My sister just visited for 12 days and I wouldn't dream of asking her to babysit for a date night. So I could nip to the grocery, sure, but only if she were obviously interested in spending time with my kids. 1 and 3 is bloody hard work.

[witsender]

Regardless of anything else, they're 1 and 3! How strict do you expect her to be with them?

[2rebecca]

If I visit my sibs then I visit to see them and vv. We live some distance apart so would usually stay with each other for a few days. The visiting person might suggest they babysit one evening, but the host would never demand or expect it, and usually when offered (even in advance so they can organise something) it's turned down as we like seeing each other.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

Anyone who expects you to babysit without asking is BU.