help me get rid of visitor

[ncforthe1000thtime]

popped in for glass of wine 7 hours ago, no sign of leaving, despite having wife and poorly child waiting for him at home. Want him to leave now, any tips?

Take him round to your neighbours to wish them happy new year and then go home leaving him there. Result

But dont do it if you live next to me!

Give him a rent book and demand payment.

oh jesus christ. you poor devil.
there was a similar thread just a few days back.
just turn off all the lights and tell him go the fuck hame.
jesus.

If you want to remain on good terms, how about "do you fancy a cup of tea before you go or are you needing to get up the road now?"

Register him for council tax.

Please tell me he's gone...?

My friend who is normally rubbish at controlling situations and is a bit of a martyr, is excellent at these situations

She says
"Anyone for coffee?"
When they say yes, she say "thank you, goodbye" and opens the door. Works everytime, but a drunk brain can't always compute.

Say out loud everyone, anyone for coffee :)

is he still there???

Do a Bay City Rollers impersonation with a scarf and sing bye bye baby.

Or Sound of music - so Long farewell...

Or Fuck off home.

My DH always says "anyone fuckoffee?"

Is he still there?? I used to have a friend like this , love him dearly but he just didnt know when to go home! I used to have to say "right well ive got to do x y b and youve got to go home, but il catch up with you soon, had a great time blah blah"

Maybe she went to bed. Love the so long farewell good idea.

Really want to know if he has gone yet!

Thank fu*k. He's gone.. Happy New Year!

New Year resolution - suffer no fools.. x

He didn't leave til 2.30am???

Why didn't you just tell him to go?

He doesn't sound very nice, I have to say - buggering off out on NYE and leaving his wife at home with a sick child while he imposes himself on other people for 10 hours. Charming.

I'm just really direct (not rude though) and it works.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to kick you out now/in 5 minutes because I need to get on with A/B/C.."

IME, people either don't worry about the directness and are fine, or if I don't know them so well, are a bit but leave anyway. I never feel guilty about it either.

He was there 10 hours???? Why didn't you ask him whether he knew where the door was?

Well it's 2hrs into the New Year so you've broken that New Resolution already!

make cocoa and whistle the national anthem in your pjs, mners of a certain age will get this ! ;)

Don't understand why people don't just say, well it was nice to see you. Bye. And usher them to the door.
I've never done the pjs thing (usually already in them), the fake puking.. Just direct bye. Saves hours of faffing around. Its your home. You get to say when enough is enough. Parties are even easier. Music gets turned off, quickly followed by thanks for coming. Hope you enjoyed it. Will do it again.

agree bloody - in the past I've just said "Right then, it's time you went home!" & herded them out of the door

No recent parties here but I'd still use this approach!

cheeky bastard.
bloody hell.
but the good news is...............you have now identified your new year's resolution.