about the laundry?

[BoringlyRestrictive]

Gave h the option of bathing the kids or folding and putting away all the laundry. He choose laundry.

Now he thinks I'm being unreasonable to be annoyed that after I bathed, dried and dressed 2 DC and have put youngest to bed I am now putting away half the laundry cos he thought I only meant the stuff on the rack. Not the stuff hanging on hangers.

Surely you flop down and 'supervise'. Perhaps make him do the kids and the hangers next time.

DC are 1&3 so it's half supervising, half damage limitation.

He didn't want to bath them cos he wanted to watch football and thought he could fold while watching.

I just pissed off that yet again I've had to do both jobs instead of him doing his fair share

Just want to say that I haven't actually said anything. He saw me doing it and got all moody and defensive and then said I was clearly annoyed.

What a knob.

In future written instructions.

I have a theory some people mess up so they are not asked again.

yanbu

So you don't do it. Tell him what still needs to be done. Don't do it and fume inwardly!

But why are you doing it instead of shouting precice instructions to 'half a job Bob' from the sofa?

You didn't 'have to' do both jobs! You chose to. You sound like a passive aggressive martyr

It's the age old male-blindness - couldn't see the stuff on the racks/the washing up on the side (so I just did the sink), the shit that needs picking up after the children have gone to bed, the fact that the cat just vomited semi-digested bird in the hallway I just walked down. I'm always tempted to lift the content of said job into his side of the bed (especially if it's the vom) but I totally do what you do and then fucking hate myself for it because it does mean they get away with being a half jobbing lazy bastard

why do you 'have to'? Just tell him 'you forgot the stuff in hangers'

It's not fair to call it "male blindness". I suck at housework and my DH often has to suggest I may want to do X, Y or Z.

But that's the thing... He prompts me, and I apologise and do it. He doesn't passive aggressively martyr himself, because frankly, I wouldn't notice.

Did you ask him to finish the job? If not, deffo do that next time.

You chose to go do. Rather than berate his not doing.

Apologies for the gender stereotyping honeysuckle, but how can you not notice a job is half done? Seriously - I'm genuinely interested. I think it's not understanding how he can not see what is glaringly obvious that is making the OP scratch her head and I'm with her. But you're right, it's not a gender thing, it's a person thing, as with everything else.

It's not that it's half done... It just doesn't occur to me to do things like put a load of washing on. Prob because I have lots of clothes so can go ages without needing to, whereas DH has a more limited selection. So he does laundry and it never crosses my mind.

But I do the food shop and cooking so I guess we are relatively even

But if course, if he puts a load on, and asks me to hang it out when it's done, I will. The just would not occur to me to put a load on in the first place. I am trying to get better.

I used to call him out on it but it said that was nagging and he was 'just about to' and I had started a row by being bossy and impatient.
However I probably have become very passive aggressive about it. And martyr-ish.
Fuck.

Sounds like it's even Stevens on housework at your house honeysuckle. I know that passive aggressive is really irritating, self destructive and self defeating too - as you say, if you don't notice the laundry overflowing, you're unlikely to notice the passive aggressive strop that accompanies the rectification - but to the passive aggressor, it's often easier than having to ask for the obvious/have an argument if the situation isn't so even Stevens.