To say this re "Grandparent's should be expected to babysit"?

[CiritheLionessofCintra]

Need some validation here, ladies. As some of you know DH and I don't speak to PIL they do sometimes come up in conversation. DH and I were discussing why GMIL and MIL have such a bad relationship and he thinks it's because of GMIL's attitude and because MIL said GPIL refused to babysit DH and his brothers. According to MIL GMIL outright said to Her "Don't expect us to babysit." Right, maybe she didn't have to be so blunt but she has a right to say what she will or won't do.

BG: MIL and her husband's DM don't get on. GMIL has a sour attitude and doesn't have a brain to mouth filter, she'd happily throw insults at you for hours on end if you let her. MIL and her are similar in certain aspect i.e both have no brain to mouth filter which is why DH thinks they don't get on.

MIL both thought they should have offered to babysit as both she and FIL worked and because 'they're grandparents'. Was I BU to tell DH that his mother was wrong as it was her and FIL's choice to have children and that there should be no expectation of anyone to babysit? He thinks I'm just saying it as we don't have a relationship with PIL anymore.

So the point being she seems to have learned from her own mother!

It is fairly unusual to never have GC alone, but entirely the GPs' right to make that choice. However it would be wrong to make that choice but still expect the same close relationship with your GC or DC. By never babysitting (and I don't mean regular childcare) you lose an opportunity to build a relationship.

Backof, I mention both because and FT work because with the way MIL explained it to DH they expected childcare since they both worked and baby sitting because 'that's what GPs do.'

Purple, GMIL would take DH and his siblings if it was an emergency, genuinely needed. If someone was in historical, if someone was seriously ill, if PIL could get no one else or for work related issues. GMIL said she had her own life, she worked PT and enjoyed other social events or nights out/in with GFIL.

Pico, GMIL did have her GC alone. DH told me she would take them for outings, for treats and have them over to visit for a good portion of the day. It was sleepovers she refused and childcare because MIL expected it since she worked back then.