Domestic abuse victims and abusers joint therapy under council scheme!!!!!

[HelenaDove]

This completely flies in the face of professional recommendations and advice that joint counselling is NOT recommended in cases of domestic abuse.
Article also reads as if the council is putting the onus on women for mens behaviour.

Am absolutely stunned and appalled by this idea. It will give many women even more cause to live in fear. How many times have we seen threads on the Relationships board where counselling has been attempted and the victim has been manipulated to "compromise"

This is absolute madness. They must have been on the Baileys when they came up with this.

www.theguardian.com/society/2015/dec/27/domestic-abuse-couples-therapy-harrow-council?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

I didn't mean you were making excuses, light. I was agreeing with you. I meant just that there is no excuse for such ignorance.

Karanka ....unless its exactly the same posters who are on this thread thats a bloody stupid thing to say.

There is an individual behind each username you know.

Karanka...no, it isn't different

do you see anyone on this thread recommending that a woman who hits her husband should push for joint counselling ?

sorry, light. Please don't feel I was picking up on you x

No need to apologize, Any. I didn't feel that at all.

The majority of posters on that thread have wholeheartedly supported the husband, to be fair.

As someone else has pointed out it will give absusers a voice and silence the victim who will be too scared to speak.

I don't think this is new. Might be new in this area under this heading but my parents were required to go to mediation when they were divorcing several years ago, even though in the divorce papers my mother identified violent/abusive behaviour from my father.

As it was my father refused to engage with the entire process and only turned up to the final court hearing so there were no repercussions from anything said.

It's not counselling though, it's victim impact similar to restorative justice. I think it's a good idea, it's not compulsory for the victim.

Just to be clear, I agree with the majority of posters in that this is not only a pointless waste of time and money but also more worryingly potentially going to cause further abuse.

It says "violence to eachother" are they referring to couples who physically fight (against eachother) much like a pub scrap rather than an abuser- abusee scenario?

Karanka that's bloody out of order

the woman advocating this is an idiot - DA is ALL our responsibility - as a council employee it's no excuse not to understand DA - it impacts on all areas of our work

this government is all about keeping families together no matter what the cost

my ex admitted he refused to feed my daughter properly and admitted he hit and over punished the children he admitted he shouts at the children (in front of social services and their solicitor) he has been arrested twice for sexual assault on a minor child because he hasn't been charged means he is fine to carry on SS closed the case after pursuing me for 12 months for "allowing" it to happen the report actually states abbs has allowed x to treat the children in a manner not recommended by CS and may benefit from a parenting course HE was not recommended to go on a course I WAS victim blaming is right because i got no support i was following a close line of keeping him out the house and keeping him sweet so my kids won't suffer when he sees them now they have decided to drop the case totally he has unsupervised contact and has made it clear he wants me back im in hell i can't even contact women's aid or anyone because the kids are home but what can i do nothing at all the law is slanted in favour of anyone but who needs it

they even told me i have to arrange my own child contact with my abuser this is after a year of telling me i was in touch with him too often

Councillor Pamela Fitzpatrick says " . . . We are delighted we are the first place to tackle the causes of domestic abuse.”

The first place. Really? The mind boggles.

This is a stupid idea. All this will do is make the abuser make themselves out to be perfect/caring/doting parent and the victim as the selfish one who refuses to change, as well as creating further abuse and trauma to the victims.

A US model? I wonder if it's one of those Christian pressure group models, like Focus on the Family (ie, stay together at all costs type thinking.)

This whole scenario is nightmarish.

A petition on Change dotorg and petitionparliamen.uk might be in the offing after this...

It is just teaching them to be better abusers.

Fucking horrendous idea. I went through counselling with abusive XP (muggins had to pay for it) but it never solved anything and I certainly wouldn't have done it under pressure.

I question the counsellors who take part! I sure as hell wouldn't sell my soul to do it.
I know there are many 'models' that are being trialled but this is awful.
The whole point of counselling is to feel safe in a free speak space with someone who doesn't judge and you can 100% trust...
I know when I was in a horrid DV situation that I would have not felt safe nor would I have spoken freely.

YY Tutt. I also question both the integrity and the motivation of any counsellor who takes part in this.