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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really fed up with all the Christmas moaning?

53 replies

NotTheSpiceOfLife · 25/12/2015 20:27

I didn't get the present I wanted.
I didn't get the present I 'deserved'.
I didn't get the right amount of money.
I think DH/DP/DM/DF is a tight bastard.
Someone ruined Christmas by not peeling the sprouts quick enough.

Blah blah fucking blah.

Christmas is about being together and having a laugh. Not about presents, or money, or whether your SIL spent more than BIL or whatever.

Seriously, be fucking grateful for the people you have in your life, not what you can get out of them on one day of the year. It's really pissed me off reading some of the threads on here today, and it's the same every year.

This isn't some holier-than-thou self righteous thread, I'm just so bored that all people can do is moan about what they haven't got, than what they have.

Is it just me?

OP posts:
Original poster
NotTheSpiceOfLife · 25/12/2015 21:23

That's different Woodhill, that's not what I mean. We all have crap days where everything goes wrong.

I'm trying really hard not not do the TAAT thing.

It's the whole spilt princess thing. 'I was expecting this, and I got that', my guests came and ate all my food and drank all my wine and all I got was this lousy t-shirt type stuff.

Or 'my mum keeps buying me crystal when all I wanted was bone china'.
Or 'my dh bought me a surprise and it wasn't the surprise I wanted'.

You know.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotTheSpiceOfLife · 25/12/2015 21:24

Sorry about your mum shazza x

OP posts:
shazzarooney99 · 25/12/2015 21:28

NotTheSpiceOfLife, thank you xxxxxxx

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/12/2015 21:30

there haven't been any threads about that Hmm

there have however been threads about family deliberately overriding and disrespecting perfectly reasonable and often necessary requests and causing proves fir people.

there have been threads about people who have saved hard and put alot if effort into what they have chosen people only to get given.the most thoughtless gifts in return clothes several sizes too big/small, the precious years gifts given back, ash trays fir 7 year olds and plastic carrots etc

and partners who despite being given idiot proof pointers still manage to get the wrong thing because they clearly don't give a shit enough to make sure they get it right.

think. everyone's been perfectly justified tbh so stop making them out to be a bunch of moaning spoilt brats.

Original poster
NotTheSpiceOfLife · 25/12/2015 21:34

I was purposely not mentioning real threads Giles. As I said. Thiose were made up.

Not the 'wtf' presents thread, that's funny.

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 25/12/2015 21:37

but they were made up to try and prove a point. except it's not really what's been going on is it.

and fir many it's been hard work getting through the day and they need a place to let rip. I think those people can be forgiven also.

Ohorgodssake · 25/12/2015 21:40

There are thousands of people out there who possibly haven't spoken to a living soul today. Thousands more who have spent the day with people who make them unhappy or in circumstances that have made them miserable. Posting here is their only connection with the outside world and the only place that they can voice their misery or frustration. Leave them be. They're doing you no harm. Move on if this isn't the post for you.

Original poster
NotTheSpiceOfLife · 25/12/2015 21:43

There have been at least 3 spoilt princess threads on there over the last few days. You're trying to twist words I haven't even said Smile

You know very well the point I'm trying to make. And if you don't agree with me that the obvious threads are horribly entitled, then there is something wrong with your outlook on Christmas. Imo.

Letting rip about things that have gone wrong is different. As I have also said.

Enjoy people that are spending time with you, instead of moaning that they brought the wrong wine. It's alright for people to get on your nerves, and to moan about that, that's normal.

OP posts:
darkequinoxlight · 25/12/2015 21:46

To be fair, there are people on here who could start an argument in an empty room!

darkequinoxlight · 25/12/2015 21:47

The other irony is that if many of these poor souls HAD posted on AIBU they'd have been torn to shreds with 'helpful advice.' Xmas Hmm

Ohorgodssake · 25/12/2015 22:43

Only if they were wearing a tin hat Dark! 😁

Woodhill · 25/12/2015 23:01

oh well, I'm over it now. Don't really care what I got for Christmas. I sat in the other room and it was quite helpful to write down my frustration. It's not that bigger deal:)

Original poster
NotTheSpiceOfLife · 25/12/2015 23:06

I'm glad Woodhill Smile Sorry you had a crappy day though.

OP posts:
Woodhill · 25/12/2015 23:20

thanks Spice, it was okay in the end. My mum came and she says can she help but she doesn't really want to or she does a token gesture which is no help. My 2 daughters did do stuff but I couldn't relax and we didn't eat till 7. Then my mum insisted on Skyping my DB and I just couldn't be bothered to join in as I wished she'd done it before she came.

At least I did the dinner and it tasted good.

nemo81 · 26/12/2015 04:42

Hear hear.

I have no family to celebrate with, this time of year is hard as its when my son died, i get no gifts, celebrate with just dp and my children and usually end up having an early night. No alcohol in sight.

I would love a Christmas where i had loads of family around me, big Christmas dinner with some alcohol, gifts exchanged and good old laugh. Never going to happen though.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 26/12/2015 04:59

Yanbu

It's hard to read threads from people moaning about circumstances many people can only dream of. The way we celebrate Christmas in this country highlights the difference between the haves and the have nots, but more than that- the difference between the grabby and the gracious.

Kacie123 · 26/12/2015 08:46

YAB a bit U.

Christmas is this time when everything gets intensified and actual everyday issues shine through.

"I didn't get present X" can be upsetting for any number of reasons but more often than not it's a deep feeling of not being valued or loved or noticed, and that can be hard to articulate and resolve. Even the "special little princesses" you're turning your nose up at may be examples of this.

In my case, my mum bought me and DH about 3 gifts this year, compared to about 20 for my brother and my dad. The things she chose for us were inappropriate, and we basically sat watching them open gifts. She spent the day being unpleasant in a number of other insidious and unconscious ways. Now, there was a time before I worked out how damaged and toxic she is that I would have taken it very personally and perhaps only been able to say, "I bought her X and she only bought me Y." I'd have been accused of whining and being a princess too, but it's usually not that simple. Actually she's just continuing to project her own issues outward. Does that make sense?

In general I also think we have expectations we aren't consciously aware of based on childhood memories and the general hype, and that disappointment in general can be pinpointed into "I didn't get X" when it really means "Life isn't what I expected".

And yes, I bet there are trolls right now going at it for all they're worth!!

Helmetbymidnight · 26/12/2015 09:06

I'd moan if I were treated as poorly as some posters are.

Why should they just be grateful if someone disrespects them.

Cantwaittillboxingday · 26/12/2015 09:17

Why are people saying they are spending Christmas on their own...when they are actually not? There's a whole thread on it. Oh yes I'm all on my own, only me and dp, oh and the small children, and I visited my elderly mother and I've been invited to the neighbours for drinks but I don't fancy it, I'm so lonely...

That doesn't compare to people genuinely on their own. And the poster who started a thread about being on her own for two weeks got it right in the neck.

ilovesooty · 26/12/2015 09:22

She certainly did. There were some horrible responses and a lot of evidence that people are often big on their perceived solutions and short on empathy.

I also agree that a lot of the dissatisfaction comes from raised expectations that the day doesn't live up to, partly because people might set the bar unrealistically high and partly because the dynamics of families can get very fraught.
I wouldn't mind betting that quite a lot of people didn't enjoy the day but won't do anything differently next year.

winterswan · 26/12/2015 09:29

It is absolutely fascinating the way people who are genuinely alone are treated here, I think.

There is nearly always an undercurrent of 'it's your own fault' - I wonder if people genuinely just don't understand that no matter how many friends you have, no matter how close to them you are, there are times when you just can't rock up to them and demand to have your needs pandered to and quietly acknowledging that yet secretly admitting you're still a bit lonely is hardly the sign of a resentful embittered individual.

It's actually someone who sounds dignified, calm and considerate - someone you'd want to be friends with!

liz70 · 26/12/2015 09:30

Yep. Lock em in a confined space with our dog after he's eaten the Christmas dinner leftovers (including sprouts) and they'll soon have something to really complain about.

winterswan · 26/12/2015 09:32

ILS, I hope you had a nice Christmas after all? Smile

ilovesooty · 26/12/2015 09:33

winterswan sometimes it's more than an undercurrent. Last year one charmless poster told me that if my sister hadn't invited me got Christmas it was my own fault.

winterswan · 26/12/2015 09:34

It couldn't possibly be that you have an arsehole sister could it Hmm

(Huge apologies if she's actually lovely but lives in New Zealand!)

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