PIL's smells make me ill

[BluecasioTG58]

I like them, though they are set in their ways. Also MIL is very elderly and has some mental health issues. They are visiting for 5 days and I am already feeling ill with a horrible headache and runny nose. This is a reaction to fil's aftershave and mil's perfume, they use soooo much of it, first thing upon waking and the house is drenched with the smells. It's not that it smells bad but i am very sensitive to it (not sure why, but I have been since i was pregnant with dc1). I hate to be inhospitable or appear rude but I literally feel ill, nauseous too.

Would I be UR to ask dh to raise it? How do you think they might take it?

I used to feel nauseous with smell of coffee when pregnant. Love it usually but all coffee making machines had to be stored out of nose range. Explain that perfume makes you feel ill.

I tell people I'm allergic to perfume, and ban any body sprays from being sprayed in my house because I have similar reactions to you, bluecasio. I have had allergy tests for other things, but apparently perfume isn't an allergen, but an irritant, i.e. if you are allergic to other things, your nose/throat is likely to get inflamed often, so will over-react to irritants like perfume or smoke, etc. Most people don't get the difference, so it's easier to just say I'm allergic.

Those saying they may be using perfume to mask something worse, so ignore the whole thing, are encouraging you to bury your head in the sand.

If there are incontinence issues then I suggest you, as their nearest and dearest, might as well be the one to raise it gently and sympathetically with each of them, in private. UTIs are easily treated. If untreated, they can lead to much worse. It could also be a symptom of them becoming less able to look after themselves.

I'd tell them, op. Just say you're terribly sorry but you seem to be allergic to it. This happened to my DB at work. The lady who sat next to him started wearing a really strong perfume and it made him ill. He agonized for age but in the end he spoke to her and she stopped wearing it for work. Just make it clear that the problem lies with you not with them and it should be ok.

I thought this was going to be about nasty smells. Yes I agree, best just to ask them, say you've got bad allergies and any perfume type smell sets you off, you don't even have to mention their perfume.

oh hell, they didn't use any perfume yesterday but this morning mil used some and I am lying in a dark room with horrible headache and just had to throw up. Its horrible.

Did you feel you couldn't mention it to them then or have they forgotten or ignored you.

It's a form of air pollution. I don't know why people use these products. They probably wouldn't want to sit with their mouths around a running car exhaust

If it's causing bad headaches then these two need telling and telling forcefully. Causing someone to be in pain is a very selfish thing. I'd be furious

In fact, could you get your dh to locate the chemicals they're using and hide them until you've left? Just take the fuckers away.

A friend worked somewhere where people came for allergy testing. She often found she was allergic to / intolerant of perfumed products they were wearing, and was tempted to advise them to go home and wash it off to see if they felt better, before wasting money on inaccurate testing.

YANBU, strong perfume and cleaner smells turn me into a wheezy mess :(