AIBU - or was this GP uneccessarily short with m?

[VeganCanBeFabulous]

I suspect I am being unreasonable and yes I know GPs are overworked and it's the run up to Christmas etc etc but this appointment has left a sour taste in my mouth and I'm not sure why.

I took my daughter to the GP yesterday because I suspect she has a mild urine infection. She is 2.5 and still wears nappies and her wet nappies have been quite smelly for the last few days. I have been extra meticulous and making sure she is properly clean and she has a bath every other night and an "important areas" wash on the off nights so it seemed likely the smell was actually urine rather than something external. Then yesterday morning she said "Mummy done a wee" and had a pained expression on her face so I said "is your wee hurting you?" And she said yes. So I made an appointment with the GP and then spent the whole bloody morning trying to get her to sit on the potty to get a sample and sent DH to get a pot from the doctor's.

When we got there he was very abrupt and said "here again are we?" I just smiled and said yes and he rolled his eyes a bit. I said I thought DD had a UTI and he said "well UTIs are actually very rare in children this age and they are something we take very seriously. Then he asked why I thought she had one and I gave him the above info. He sighed and said well I can't just treat blindly! We'll need a sample (in a manner than suggested I was an idiot or just desperate for antibiotics). I then gave him the sample I had brought and he sighed again and said well this will have to go off to the lab, it will take a few days. His manner was as though I was a massive time-waster. I said that she had had a UTI before and DH had brought her and they had just dipped her wee there and then, but he said they'd have to send it off for proper tests.

So as not to drip feed, my daughter has been to the GP a fair bit but no more than other toddlers I know! She had thrush under her arm recently which had to be treated with canesten but was initially misdiagnosed so it took a while to get the right treatment. She has had the odd bug - she had croup as a young baby and has had a chest infection since then. She broke her leg a year ago (she sat on DH's lap on a slide and her leg got caught underneath him) which was awful and we felt terrible about it but it was clearly an accident.

I was just surprised by his suggestion that we were there all the time and that I was time wasting. I am a nurse so only take my kids when there is something I can't deal with myself and I don't feel like my children are ill more than other children their age. Also I'm not sure what he meant by taking the UTI very seriously in children her age. I can't explain why but it really felt like an admonishment. She is always clean, drinks plenty and only water or milk, eats a good healthy diet, gets plenty of sleep. I'm not sure what more I should be doing to avoid illness! So am I being unreasonable or over sensitive or was this guy a bit off? Congrats if you made it this far - sorry for the novel!

I seemed to live at the GPs when my dc were small. On a couple of occasions they didn't need to be there, on another couple I got the 'you should have brought him in sooner Mrs B' so I figure I got it about right.

One GP was a bit snappy with me when ds2 went into his 'perking up for the doctor act' once but I was an old hand by then and didn't take it personally (and ds2 turned out to have really nasty virus so no I didn't need the doctor but I wasn't imagining it either).

Chalk it up as "stuff that happens to parents".

littledrummergirl....and you know that the OP's GP has a nurse practitioner available how exactly? Do you know her and work in her practice?

I had a UTI recently (just had a hysterectomy and they're common afterwards. I saw OOHs GP and the diagnosis was made primarily on my description and a dipstick test.

I hope your DD is better for Father Christmas OP. UTIs are horrible enough for an adult, let alone a child.

Nurse practitioners can't prescribe anti-biotics or refer for lab tests littledrummergirl. The OP would have been referred to the GP had she done that thus wasting more time.

My dc wee always smelt really strong when they were teething.

Do you think you led your dc to say it hurt?

Professor according to your GP a third of patients who make appointments don't need to? But that will only become apparent once the patient has seen the GP surely? In other words, once the GP has listened, examined and made a professional judgment about whether the patient needs referral, blood tests, a prescription etc or is, indeed, a timewaster. Surely that is what their training has been for and what sets them apart from their patients? Otherwise they'd have no function and we could all diagnose ourselves at home!

OP - the GP should've tested the urine immediately to check for infection and then sent the sample on to the hospital for further analysis if necessary to ensure the right antibiotics are prescribed. It's not difficult!

My older two sons, husband and I rarely visit our GP fortunately but my eight month old has been for oral thrush, bottom thrush, croup, conjunctivitis and eczema (twice)! If I had been treated as you were I would have complained and I've never made a complaint in my life! I just think it's outrageous to behave like that. Patients are customers. I don't care if he was having an 'off' day; I'm a teacher and if I'm in a grump I keep that to myself - I don't take it out on my class!

If you watch the programme about GPs on Channel 5 on Wednesdays you will see how it should be done - they are a credit to their profession.

I didn't realise you can go to the practice nurse with your urine sample.
No one ever told me that!

Well he obviously thinks you are a pain in his arse so, whether he is right or you are, you are best off seeing a different doctor from now on anyway!

Gps who use the phrase 'timewasters' are putting children at risk.

Yesterday, we took DS to the doctors as he was having a few problems with a cough and it was effecting his breathing a little but was smiling in between whiles so we didn't know quite what to do. We didn't want to 'timewaste' by going straight to A&E especially since our friends who are doctors have made a big deal of over protective parents of late, so since the doctor opened half an hour later we thought we'd just go there for an emergency appointment. And even then we thought we would be in the 'its just a cold we can't do anything about it' camp.

8 hours later he was eventually discharged from hospital after a ride in the ambulance.

I am now extremely pissed off, because I feel all the gaslighting we may have unwittingly put our son at risk. How do ordinary people tell if its a real cause for concern or something minor that isn't really a problem?

The problem is that it putting off people with genuine concerns and makes them feel guilty or hesitant about using services rather than encouraging them to do what their gut reaction is. Meanwhile the chances are that 'timewasters' are oblivious to it anyway.

Its the vulnerable who suffer as a result of 'trying to do the right thing'.

Trust your instincts. If 'timewasting' stops bigger problems or even saves a life then timewaste.

Your GP sounds like a prick. But he didn't mean UTI's are a child protection issue, he meant they need taking seriously in case there are bladder or kidney issues.

Nurse practitioners can't prescribe anti-biotics or refer for lab tests

They bloody well can! I usually see an ANP with my DC, and there's never been any hassle in prescribing antibiotics or lab referrals. The ANP at my surgery was also able to refer me for genetic testing - they're able to do far more than people realise.

my gp has a system where you ring now and the gp assesses whether they need to see you by calling you to discuss it.

another thought OP, could she be dehydrated, thus causing the wee to smell stronger?
hope she is better soon

My gp was very like this and I didn't attend with kids or myself often.

They were very obstructive as dd got worse and worse, not life threatening illness but her hearing and breathing were deteriorating. Thankfully an hv saw her and referred her straight to ent. A year later, dd is now on a surgery waiting list with a consultant who told us to leave the gp and never look back, and is angry that their failure to take me seriously meant that this possibly could have been prevented.

They treated me the same to and until dds consultant said what he did, I was suspecting I had a mental problem. New gps now who also shake their heads at old gps and are now 'firefighting' with my associated illnesses.

Especially as you are a nurse, trust your instincts.

Oh, I have a uti at the moment. They dipped in the surgery. Dm has the so often (side effects of her medication) we call her a pro and she often has hers sent to the lab, not before dipping in the surgery as well though (or worst case being given antibiotics just in case).

The term "time wasters" annoys me because unless you have Munchausens or you have a lot of time to waste plus the inclination to annoy others, nobody would ever choose to spend time at a doctors surgery.

Most people don't have medical training and experience to accurately self-diagnose. UTIs are horrible. They do like to send them off to make sure that the antibiotic they prescribe is the correct one to kill off the bacteria, but the insinuation that you are wasting time is horrible.

I'm surprised he didn't dip test her urine there. When I took my daughter in (appendicitis but we didn't know it at that stage and NHS 24 said the early stages are very similar to UTI) he tested the sample in the surgery. And antenatal appointments in my experience always have the urine dip tested in the surgery.

I hope she's ok, especially with Christmas coming up and making it harder to get her treatment if she needs it.

Nurse practioners can prescribe antibs with the appropriate training.

That is poor treatment OP, I would complain to the practice manager. If uti's in children are treated so seriously why wait to treat?

Is there a walk in centre you can go to near you OP? She will be in a lot of discomfort if the uti gets worse due to lack of treatment with trimethroprim.

Both my daughters have been prescribed antibiotics by ANP's one for a uti (urine dipped in GP surgery) and the other for an eye infection.

is she by any chance constipated?

When dniece had a uti, dsis was told that repeated utis in a young child was a possible indicator of abuse.

I have no idea if this is true, but they told her this at her local hospital.

He does sound abit arsey but forget it. H should have tested there and then and given anti biotics if something showed up.

I suffered terrible UTI's as a child and was referred to hospital. They are so painful.

Maks sure your daughter is drinking plenty as it can help the wee sting less, give her cranberry juice and where possible, stick her in a bath to wee and also give her calpol regularly! Can she go without a nappy for a bit? Even now when i have a UTI i like to lay butt naked in bed with a fan blowing between my legs

I am forcing fluids down her so she is well hydrated but has been a bit constipated recently for the first time - possibly because she has gone off fruit a bit. She seems ok, a bit quiet and cuddly but not really unhappy. She hasn't been sleeping well recently, is resisting bedtime having been a perfect sleeper, 7-7 since was 4 months old. If she seems worse I'll take her to the walk in centre.

"That is poor treatment OP, I would complain to the practice manager."

No really, DON'T! The OP nailed it in her very first post, with yes I know GPs are overworked and it's the run up to Christmas etc

Take whatever medical action you feel is required from now on (either watch her improve or get another opinion if she deteriorates) but move on from this perceived slight by a harassed and stressed doctor at a hideous time of year.

To be fair, our surgery also doesn't dip and sends urine samples to the lab - they say this is because they want to be sure to prescribe the right antibiotics for the infection, not necessarily the ones that are right most of the time - which I applaud, really, in these days of antibiotic resistance etc

I really wouldn't worry about it - concentrate on your daughter and put it down to overwork and Christmas: hope she feels better soon!

There's a difference between a GP being a bit harassed and short with a patient and a GP not carrying out the investigations/treatment he should have done though clam.

There's also the possibility he might just be an arse and it has nothing to do with him being harassed.

I think you should complain to the practice manager. It's not a perceived slight, it's an actual slight and he had no business behaving in such an unprofessional way. GPs are overworked but so are lots of other people, eg shopworkers have it pretty bad at this time of year! Keeping your manner appropriate at work is important, especially for a GP, where part of his job is maintaining a good relationship with patients. They need to be able to feel comfortable talking to him. I was a practice manager for years, and this would be a valid complaint.

I also think you should change your GP, he doesn't seem to respect you and he sounds arrogant and unpleasant.

Hope your daughter is ok. Keep her drinking plenty of water and hopefully she won't experience any more pain.