Why is it all down to me?

[nicetoshare]

We are going to PIL's for Xmas. They are elderly and have full time carers, who we manage and pay for via DH. We have a toddler. We both work full time for our own businesses. DH is going to cook. He will also drive as I don't drive - we will hire a car. This is all background.

So:
I have bought presents for everyone including all Dh's family and his PiL's carers, as well as Dc and DH and my family of course
I have bought food for the entire duration
I have booked the car
I have taken time off work this week to look after dc as our childminder is on holiday
I have arranged double pay and holiday leave and extra cover for all the carers

Now, all of this is technically fine. BUT DH told me that he was sorting ALL of it - the presents for his family, the carers' holidays etc, the car, the food, half the childcare this week. Instead he has done NOTHiNG except tell me not to nag him when I remind him. This has gone on for weeks. I discovered it all this morning g and had to do everything with a poorly toddler in tow.

To top it off he fell asleep on the sofa after I asked him to help put dc to bed.

Aibu to be in an almighty strop and go on MN all night instead of have sex with him - which is what he is unbelievably angling for.

Why did you do it all???

Then after all your huffing carry on and wrap the presents whilst he complains you're not on the sofa with him? I realy don't understand, why did you not loose it and shout using many swear words?

Just stop

My sister is coming up to retirement age and her DH is bloody useless and she complains bitterly but she has done everything for him for 40 years. He can't cook at all and she is fretting about leaving him to come and stay with me next year plus who would look after her grandchildren.

I told her to just give them notice and come for a holiday, she then said she couldn't be selfish like me

Don't become a resentful doormat like my sister.

What would have happened if you hadn't done it?

What precious said.

YABU to have stepped in and done it. There is no incentive for DH to step up is there if you run around mopping up after him.

He sounds pretty selfish and useless to me.

Happy Christmas.

Because you chose to make it all down to you. He will never change while you do it. If he said he would do these things, then sit back and let him do them with periodic warnings if necessary that you are not doing them. If he does nothing then he will have to suffer the consequences.

He's not a nice man, he's a lazy arse and you are his enabler. How do you find someone like this attractive enough to have sex with? It would put me right off.