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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I need to apologise to foaf?

20 replies

HighwayDragon1 · 22/12/2015 19:26

One of my 'friends' (for context we met up for coffee in town, a group of us, she was there as a foaf) asked me what my dds man present was. I told her, she looked at me like this Xmas Shock and proceeded to rant about how children didn't need electronics how it leads to obesity evils of screens etc etc, she was really condescending. My friend looked very embarrassed by her behaviour. Anyway I snapped back, how dare she talk to me like that, I didn't boast about what I was buying that she'd asked me and if she didn't like the answer she should keep her opinions to herself.

Foaf stormed out, leaving my friend really red faced and apologising, and the others just goldfish mouthing.

Now I wasn't the nicest to her when I responded, and it was childish to snap at her, but I didn't actually do anything wrong, right? Should I message foaf to apologise? Or just leave it?

OP posts:
Lweji · 22/12/2015 19:29

Well done. :)

Just leave it.

I bet not many stand up to her like that. It's good that someone did.

Enjolrass · 22/12/2015 19:30

It depends on how far you went.

Standing up for yourself is fine, if you went of the deep end you may want to apologise.

Even if it's just for going to far.

It doesn't sound like you went off on one though as mutual friend apologised to you too.

Personally I would leave it she sounds like a knobber.

Bubbletree4 · 22/12/2015 19:30

No I'd leave it. She was outrageously rude and I expect most people just let her gob off like it (I would have done, would have been to scared/embarrassed). But your reply was fine and she deserved it. No way would I apologise to her.

TheBoysMamma · 22/12/2015 19:30

I wouldn't, she should apologise to you

GarlicCake · 22/12/2015 19:33

Great. Good for you. Leave it!

I'm sure you'll get slightly awed feedback from the other friends Grin

wigglesrock · 22/12/2015 19:34

Nope you're grand, I would have been a bit more succinct and told her to piss away off but you sound much nicer Grin. Why would you apologise? she was the one being a dick.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 22/12/2015 19:37

Leave it. What right did she have to comment so horribly?

Jackie0 · 22/12/2015 19:41

You don't even know her ,leave it.

icelollycraving · 22/12/2015 19:42

If you apologise,it'll undermine you calling her on being a twat. So don't.

CasualJersey · 22/12/2015 19:44

No!
Don't spologise!
People who do that (rant after asking) deserve nothing more
Than a curt response!
Well done you!
You actual friends response gives you the answer!
FOAF was in the wrong

Jw35 · 22/12/2015 19:47

No way! Well done!

Arfarfanarf · 22/12/2015 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsWembley · 22/12/2015 20:00

Of course you don't!

In fact, you asking and wondering about it shows that you are actually the more polite and thoughtful of the two of you, so stop worrying.Grin

building2015 · 22/12/2015 20:07

God, your good.

Faced with dickishness like that I would have been open mouthed and stuck for words.

You did well. Thank you on behalf of all the people she has to interact with in future. She might think twice.

pictish · 22/12/2015 20:07

Ywnbu. It was rude of her to ask then slate your reply. She can think it all she likes, but in that instance she most certainly wasn't allowed to say it.

CherryPits · 22/12/2015 20:09

YANBU she was being an opinionated dick head and should never have had a go at you like that. Well done for standing up for yourself and scaring her off.

catfordbetty · 22/12/2015 20:11

Now I wasn't the nicest to her when I responded

Does that mean, in fact, that your reaction was completely disproportionate?

zen1 · 22/12/2015 20:41

YANBU

A similar thing happened to me at a friend's birthday meal. One of her (gobshite) friends who I'd never met before was a practitioner in some New Age psychotherapy treatment she had devised involving crystals (non mainstream, non evidence-based) and asked me if I wanted her number as she could 'treat' my son who has autism. Everyone else round the table looked uncomfortable. She was spewing so much crap that eventually I left early. Received a message the next day from my friend hoping that the foaf "hadn't offended me". I wished afterwards I had challenged her more.

Trills · 22/12/2015 20:57

You may have to apologise for calling her a foaf - it sounds like a euphemism for genitals.

WhereYouLeftIt · 22/12/2015 21:10

You do not owe this woman an apology - she owes you one.

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