to think making 3 times a year doesn't require a round of applause?

[MrsH1989]

DH is annoying me right now. He is great at cooking but never does it. Part of the reason is that everything has to be on his timescale not taking into account DS needing to eat before bed. He also makes a huge deal of it, like right now, when he is supposed to be cooking (this meal should take at least an hour to cook once prepared), he has declared he needs to clean the kitchen first, including emptying the dishwasher. The kitchen is not untidy, maybe could have done with wiping the worktops but that is it. He is just delaying everything and taking his time as usual. I find it very frustrating that he has to make such a big deal about making tea, like he is being a martyr, when in fact I do it every night and him doing it always becomes more of an inconvenience than a help. I am looking forward to the meal but he still at this very moment hasnt so much as peeled a carrot (on his phone) since declaring half an hour ago he would start tea. ANyone elses partner such a pain in the arse?

Produce something quick for DS, put him to bed and if there is no sign of food announce your intention to go to the pub for an hour and then come back or better yet leave him with DS since you presumably manage to prepare food every night with a child in tow....?

Pick battles is one thing but I bet he is "cleaning" the kitchen now and not when he has finished cooking and turned it into an utter pit.

oh and little ones often do need to eat early if they have breakfast and lunch early, 'pushing back their bedtime' is rarely a good idea for a pre-schooler unless you can get them to nap in the day to make up for it (working parents rarely can afford for their DCs to get up later if they have to be dressed and breakfasted and deposited at childcare early.). If he's planning on making a meal for after DS' meal time, then fine, it's just for you two, he has to make somehting quick for DS now. If he wants you to all eat together, then it has to be at a time that suits DS's bedtime.

He does do other stuff around the house and is generally pretty great. He does not do the shopping coz is an impulse buyer and we would be both broke and overweight! He probably doesn't want to do it but tbh I don't hi k he wants me to. He is only making Shepard pie but if is his "signature dish" and he knows it would be better if he does it. He just wants to make a fuss and feel appreciated (don't we all?!). The hungry child would still ask for more if given a simple beans or egg on toast and is only 3 and tends to eat wary with nursery so having tea at 6 is pretty late for him. The poor child is starving.
I'm not going to make a fuss with DH, he will just refuse to cook in future and not change which is why I am ranting on here and not to him. Tea is just ready now!

P.s I just went in the kitchen and he didn't even clean the worktop a before starting so not sure what the big fuss about the kitchen was about! Thanks for listening ladies!

Same for my ex. Every Sunday was ruined with the never ending cooking. All day for one meal. He'd spend as much on Sunday dinner as I did for the rest of the week, had to have the kitchen to himself, use all the pans, which he obviously couldn't clean himself as he'd been cooking all day. And no one was allowed to eat anything in case they ruined dinner.
We'd all be starving, fed up and then I'd have to spend an hour clearing up. So glad I don't have to go through that anymore.

I never cook anything that takes get than an hour.

Refusing to cook again if you complain about the time he takes would be unreasonable and selfish.

DH used to do this but he cooks a lot more now so is much better at not wasting time, using every pan and utensil in the kitchen or expecting me to bow down and worship him.

Sounds like he's acting a bit useless so that you'll give up and stop asking him to cook. You're just so much better at it than him! It'd be much easier if you just did it every single night.

My DH is an OK cook, but terrible shopper. He tends to find a really over elaborate recipe for something like thai green curry, then will go out and blow about £20 buying spices and ingredients we already have. Last time he did the weekly shop it was £100 for two adults and a toddler, and he forgot loo roll. So I do all the planning now and only ask him to bung stuff in the oven now and again.

XP used to
Make a big deal about cooking and take forever.

He would also cook one thing at a time.
If he did a roast he would cook the potatoes, then the other oven cooked veggies, then roast the chicken and when that was ready he would cook vege on stove.

Everything ended up both over cooked and cold, and the oven would be on for hours.

lexlees - really?

My husband used to be a Performance Cook, cooking once every few months.
The way to cope with this is to bite your lip, encourage him to cook more often.
My husband now cooks at least twice a week, and sometimes it's "everyday" cooking, sometimes "show, off" cooking but less faffing about.

oh god, I couldn't be with someone this melodramatic and attention seeking.

The fact you can't just tell him he is being a pillock due to some sort of bizarre "consequence" of you criticising him is a bit worrying.

I am.banned from kitchen when DH cooks as I used to try to help/grimace at the state of kitchen or how hes cooking or lately just start laughing. Poor guy has no clue on timings etc.