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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a drink before I go to bed?

20 replies

booksrock · 22/12/2015 13:56

I am an occasional drinker, mainly a glass of wine at weekends. Dh doesn't drink at all.

The last few nights I have been having nightmares that make me feel very sad and disjointed when I wake up - this is probably because of Christmas and all the bad memories it brings for me.

So I am some use to the family and actually sleep through the night would it be unreasonable to have a couple of glasses of something so I just sleep and wake up feeling normal. I have no more work to go to, just playing with the kids.

OP posts:
TheSecondViola · 22/12/2015 14:00

You're a grown up. You can drink when and what you like? Why are you looking for permission from us fools?

29PaddingtonSt · 22/12/2015 14:00

Yes I think YABU. Using alcohol to help you sleep is the start of a slippery slope. I do sympathise; December holds traumatic memories for me. However the key thing you need to do is address the issues. Have you had counselling at all or a good friend/relative you could talk things through with?

Original poster
booksrock · 22/12/2015 14:36

no friends, no one to talk with.

DH is great but he tends to over analysis - I don't want to get into it, I just want a good nights sleep so the DC have a good time.

OP posts:
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 22/12/2015 14:37

I struggle with Christmas too, but I wouldn't recommending using alcohol to help you sleep. Trust me, it's a slope you don't want to start down.

Would a herbal remedy work? Or sleeping tablets, temporarily?

liz70 · 22/12/2015 15:32

No, drinking because you need to e.g. to get you to sleep is not the way to go.

Things that might help -night time herbal drink, sleep balm, read in bed - they work for me. You can also get underpillow speakers, and have a long length sleep aiding mp3 playing - there are plenty on Youtube, 8 or more hours long, so you could leave it running through the night. Worth a shot?

SonjasSister7 · 22/12/2015 15:41

Alcohol makes my anxiety worse and disturbs my sleep. I find exercise much more useful tho tricky at this time of year/in this weather. I also take Kalms/sleepease/similar remedies with valerian in them, dh swears by valerian, and it certainly doesn't make me worse.

Fiddly craft projectsideally involving a new skill can be very relaxing. Try making an origami christmas star/swan/darth vader for distraction. Then whwn you doze off your mind will hopefully be filled with folding paper!

LeaLeander · 22/12/2015 15:51

Melatonin works well for me.

knobblyknee · 22/12/2015 15:59

YANBU. You are an adult. If you found yourself on a slippery slope you'd find a way to get off it. You've already demonstrated that ability.
You are on the slippery slope of no sleep at a stressful time, and a glass of something is a neat short term solution.

Here's a tip; Use a nice fabric softener on your pillowcases, put a dab of perfume on a tissue, wash your hands before you go to bed and put a dab of perfume on.
Dont handle change or keys, or anything coppery smelling before you go to bed. You often end up with your hands near your face, and the smell of copper or iron can cause nightmares or panic attacks. Your subconscious brain interprets it as blood.

Original poster
booksrock · 22/12/2015 17:36

Thanks for all the advice

I'm ok getting to sleep but its waking at 4:30 after a bad dream that leads me unable to get back to sleep, dh is a light sleeper so I try to be as quiet as possible.

OP posts:
StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 22/12/2015 17:52

its a myth that alcohol helps you sleep. It might well make you drowsy enough to sleep but it is not the good quality sleep you need to recharge, it bypasses that bit of the sleep pattern which is why many people either wake in the early hours after drinking or go into a comatose state and wake groggy and unrested. much better to have a milky drink, a hot bath, and a few drops of lavender oil on the pillow or a herbal sleep pill and read quietly until you drift off then at least you wake refreshed and rested rather than groggy.

Original poster
booksrock · 23/12/2015 05:41

Nothing stronger then lemonade last night. Asleep by 11, awake at 5, in a very low mood but its my birthday so got to pretend to be happy all day

OP posts:
wannabestressfree · 23/12/2015 05:43

Happy birthday books :) what have you got planned?

Original poster
booksrock · 23/12/2015 06:05

Christmas activities with the dc. I hate my age number this year and am trying to ignore it

OP posts:
FindoGask · 23/12/2015 06:12

Happy birthday. Sorry to hear you're feeling low.

In my experience (I'm a moderate drinker) alcohol makes my sleep worse - it might help me to get to sleep but I wake early as you describe and then can't get back to sleep again. So I agree with some other suggestions about trying to get a better night's kip. Good luck.

Gwynfluff · 23/12/2015 08:39

Unless you were completely hammered, you'll still wake at 4.00am after 2 glasses of alcohol! Agree that often there is more anxiety, disruption to sleep and vivid dreams after drinking - I do drink (sleep studies show how disruptive alcohol is to sleep).

Early morning weakening is actually a classic symptom of depression. You'd be better going to have a chat through things with your GP.

Hope you feel better soon.

Gwynfluff · 23/12/2015 08:40

Meant wakening, sorry!

GnomeDePlume · 23/12/2015 08:58

As a regular early hours waker I can recommend Nytol. There are two versions:

  • herbal, you take a couple of tablets an hour before bed. This will help you to relax into sleep and help you to a fairly natural sleep

  • chemical, this you have to ask at the pharmacy for. You take this 20 minutes before bed and certainly has me out for the count. Not a chemical cosh though!

On the whole I prefer to take the herbal version as I find waking up a bit easier but I take the chemical version if I am really struggling after several nights of badly broken sleep.

theycallmemellojello · 23/12/2015 09:43

I think drinking alcohol makes you more likely to wake up in the night doesn't it? I must say that I sometimes have a whiskey before bed if I've had a coffee in the afternoon and am feeling too alert to sleep. Herbal remedies/melatonin/antihistamines etc are more effective and better than a drink of course, but I don't tend to have those in the house. Agree that depending on alcohol to get you to sleep of a night (or for any reason) is bad, but once in a while it's not going to hurt.

ThreenageMutantWhingerTurtle · 23/12/2015 09:53

May I suggest trying Kalms? Not the nighttime ones, bizarrely, but the ones in the blue box. They are great for helping with getting to sleep and can help with any anxiety too. And all completely natural ingredients. I take 2 at bedtime if I am struggling to sleep, and highly recommend them.
Regarding your low mood, it sounds like a trip to your GP might be in order, or check out the Mind website for self help ways to manage this. Good luck op, sending Flowers

AliceScarlett · 23/12/2015 10:03

Google sleep hygiene. Has some good techniques for better sleep. I agree that using alcohol a slippery slope.

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