To think MN has changed or is it me?

[AtSea1979]

MN has been a source of support since I was left holding the baby over 10 years ago. MN was my safe place, someone I could come and spill out my thoughts and not be judged. I felt reassured that others had similar experiences, done worst. I felt guided through my darkest hours. Don't get me wrong if I needed a kick up the backside I got it but in a gentle, supporting way. When I was told to LTB I did.
I used to come away feeling better, stronger, confident.
Now I typically come away feeling stupid, foolish, and wishing I hadn't opened that particular can of worms. It seems every thread I start now I'm left feeling deflated and stupid.
Has MN changed over the years or have I got more stupid with age?

[ghostspirit]

i have not known mn to be much different form when i joined. i used to get attacked on everyone of my threads, couple weeks ago one went to far. and i reported. normally i dont bother because i dont mind a bit of messing about bit of a wind up or what ever. but it went to ott. anyway. it seems to have completely stopped so i did wonder had it been the same person. then i realised probably not. anyway all is quite for me.

i do think its quite upsetting though when people have come on for support and then someone rips them apart especally if the op is distressed/upset.

also i think people post on aibu and chat for traffic the other boards are rathee quite. i dont think that should give people automatic right to rip the op apart. but that does not mean people have to agree with the poster/op but there is a way of saying things.

i doubt very much half of whats said on mn would be said in real life

[lemonslemonslemons]

Ghost is right, few people would actually speak to RL people the way they speak to folk on MN. Cowards.

[SSargassoSea]

Stop moaning. It's fine.

The internet (and MN) have changed things - most problems you ahve can be answered here or googled. Anything and everything you wish to know about is there.

All the stuff new Mums had worries about is covered a hundred times over in blogs etc as well as here.

Family issues come up over and over, if peeps searched MN they'd probably find answers to their prob in a previous thread.

It's bound to change, probably has 10x or 100x the users from 10 years ago (in fact prob 1,000x)

[shinynewusername]

Anyone who thinks MN has ever been all sweetness and light wasn't around for the debates over MMR - they were vicious!

Having said that, twattishness on here does evolve. Policing possible triggers was big about a year ago. At the moment, the hot trend is oneupmanship about any perceived failing of an OP to remember how privileged she is. So a poster complaining that her leg had to be amputated after being mown down in Asda car park by a driver high on glue will be reminded that:

• she is lucky to still have the one leg: other posters are bilateral amputees
  
• she is lucky to have access to a supermarket when South Sudan/Syria/Anglesey are Asda-less wastelands
  

• she is lucky to live in a society with ready access to adhesives.

[knobblyknee]

YANBU, but I think its a bit 6 of one thing, half a dozen of the other.
You know sometimes when you are in need of a bit of support, anything positive seems hugely supportive?
Now you are older and more cynical wiser, maybe it takes a bit more to seem meaningful?

Plus, there is now a hardcore of twats who look for the larger forums to troll/spoil/spam with their red pill/one upmanship bull shit.

Just ignore them, they hate that.

[SilverOldie2]

I don't think it has changed so much over the years. I still read threads where posters get the help and support they need. However, I do think there are more trolls than before which is really horrible, especially if the posters are responding to the troll on subjects which may be painful for them but they want to help the OP.

[RebootYourEngine]

What i dont like is when someone starts a thread to rant about something or just to air their thoughts and they get flamed for it.

[meditrina]

"Ghost is right, few people would actually speak to RL people the way they speak to folk on MN. Cowards."

But at least then there would be no more threads on age for piercing ears, running order and feeding times for weddings, and party arrangements or any baby names or style and beauty questions. For in RL, all of these (and others) are territory only for compliments.

The function of actually giving advice, pointing out snags/difficulties or just having an opinion different to OPs would be lost at a stroke.

Personally, I like the differences in frankness between RL and the Internet, and I like hearing views that are utterly different to those held by the circle of people I know. I find it both broadening and invigorating.

[hiddenhome2]

It was quite nasty when I first joined several years ago and it's still quite nasty now. I find it depressing and demoralising, but don't know where else to go. I miss the fun days on the forum I used to go on. We had some scraps, but it was very warm and funny. There were no pedantic, miserable twats like there are on here.

I imagine some posters to be wizened old hags with hook noses who sit in front of their screens drinking plj through a paper straw and whos only company is a malignant old cat who hates them

[icelollycraving]

I used to post a lot,now not so much. Few threads hold my interest. At least there aren't the constant who are your favourite mners threads that were a thing for a while. They used to really piss me off.
The whole Jeremy thing has made me a lot more cautious of what I post.

[hiddenhome2]

Is there anywhere that's a bit friendlier?

[usernamesandgingerbreads]

I think it has just got bigger. I joined originally in 2006. It was big but you saw the same names day after day and had a feeling of who those people were and tbh while you were always told straight there was not the same level of bitchy responses. Now I hardly know who anyone is especially since the name changes following the hack.

[AtSea1979]

Don't get me wrong, I like the differing opinions. I just find the blatant "you're wrong, you are stupid" just to much to take when I need support.

[Shutthatdoor]

I don't get these threads. Do you expect everyone to agree on an Internet forum? Why?

I have to agree with this.

I have been here for many years under different names.

People aren't going to agree and I don't like the assumption that people should or called names because they don't.

Nor do I agree with with the idea that you should 'side' with a poster because you happen to be the same gender.

I do think however there are ways and means of saying things.

[MistressoftheYoniverse]

I find a good old Flounce or name change can do the trick sometimes..MN/MNers can be a pia...it has been from infancy... but it is also funny,engaging,supportive,interesting,sweet,intolerable,political...and so much more, have a little break or stick to the light-hearted threads for a bit if it gets too heavy...and bare in mind Arses are everywhere!

[Clare1971]

I think it depends on the board. AIBU nearly always turns into a free for all but I've had some really great support on the parents of teenagers threads. (Maybe that's because parents of teenagers are so worn down they have no energy left to be unpleasant - do I need to add 'lighthearted' to that?)

[wasonthelist]

Personally, I like the differences in frankness between RL and the Internet, and I like hearing views that are utterly different to those held by the circle of people I know. I find it both broadening and invigorating

Totally agree. It's not cowardly, it's interesting.

[KakiFruit]

Individual topics are very different. AIBU is not the place to post if you don't like brutal honesty.

[665TheNeighbourOfTheBeast]

I do wonder if the starting of Gransnet has also changed the dynamic here a bit.

[araiba]

surely AIBU, by definition, is going to full of people arguing?

[MrsJayy]

Ive been here 4/5 years it hasnt changed you lovely supportive funny posters you get lightheartedness but you also get the twats who take everything far too serious or are just plain mean it really hasnt changed imo

[Quiero]

Everything changes, that's not a bad thing. Mumsnet is a business and got bigger, that's all. Social media meant the threads reached a higher audience and brought in more members - more members = higher advertising revenue.

Sadly, more members has also meant more dick heads and there was a real change after the hideous penis beaker thread. A lot of people have completely misunderstood the ethos and mistook our encouragemnt of straight talking for licence to be a nasty bastard.

The lighthearted stuff is daft too, people need to get a sense of humour.

[MrsJayy]

I see posters that just like to get a rise out of people its pathetic but they dont care who they offend they just open their gob and the bile falls out you just need to by pass them