To think DH should delete this video

[36notout]

DH got my old phone out tonight and I asked him to back up some of the photos on it, as there are some baby pics of DD on there.

He started going through the photos and found some that I found distressing, including a video of DD in hospital when she was 8 weeks old and quite seriously poorly (taken by me to show the doctors that she appeared to be having seizures).

I asked him to now delete the video because (a) I found it very upsetting and (b) it is mine and I don't want to keep it.

He says he wants to keep it and is refusing to delete it. He says he will keep it somewhere private so I won't see it but I think this is completely unreasonable of him and that it should be deleted altogether in line with my wishes.

I can't tell however if I am losing perspective over this - so AIBU or is he?

When my son was ill the nurses actively encouraged me to take pictures. I thought they were mad at the time but they did (and still do) really help me.

I'm sorry, but I do think YABU.

The work dinner thing doesn't sound great, no way around that. But your dd is his child, not just yours, and it is not for you to gatekeep or judge his feelings. If he is going to keep the video where you won't come across it I think he has every right to.

Also, a PP makes a good point about keeping it for your dd. I was in hospital a great deal as a very young child, and find it frustrating to have very little 'evidence' of that time to put alongside my very patchy memories - which your dd won't have at all.

Understand you find them distressing....

By keeping them:
1.How far the lil baby has come!
2.A record if you need it in future for medics( hopefully not!).
3.This is part of your baby's history,theu may be interested when they grow.. Most kids are fascinated to look at themselves in early pics

It's his daughter too so on that alone I think YABU.

The more you say the more it seems that they don't only remind you of dd being poorly but also the fact that dh did not give you support you needed and will never understand the pain and anxiety you went through because he wasn't there with you. Make peace with that and forget about the video.