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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not collect DH from the airport later

46 replies

chanelfreak · 21/12/2015 16:39

I need the wisdom of MNetters! - my DH was away visiting family at the weekend and is arriving back to an airport 2.5hrs from our house later on tonight. He doesn't drive and normally I collect him, meaning we get back to our house at around half past midnight.

However, I had my portacath rinsed today and I feel completely ill and wobbly after it (most squeamish woman on the planet) AND I have work tomorrow (DH does not) so AIBU to ask him to get a bus home instead? It would mean he doesn't get home til 3am, so I feel a bit a lot guilty for suggesting it.

OP posts:

Cressandra · 21/12/2015 19:22

It's hours of driving in the dark. Do the responsible thing - please don't get behind the wheel if you don't feel well enough. Worst case scenario, to put it bluntly, is you kill someone.

PestoFestivio · 21/12/2015 19:26

Or yourself

wannanewone · 21/12/2015 19:27

YANBU, not at all.

That is a long drive, at night, when you are feeling unwell and have to work the next day. And you are recovering from chemo.

He should get a hotel room, or the bus. He can sleep in the next day.

Bearbehind · 21/12/2015 19:31

You absolutely shouldn't drive if you feel wobbly.

There was a thread about people who 'don't drive' not long ago which was right on the money.

Maybe your DH 'can't' drive but 'doesn't' implies he chooses not to.

If he chooses not to drive then he has to accept journeys are more difficult.

If he 'can't' drive then I'm guessing his situation is no worse than your current situation.

Either way he needs to get the bus.

AyeAmarok · 21/12/2015 19:34

Oh you poor thing. It's one time when you're feeling crappy. Of course he can get the bus.

purplepandas · 21/12/2015 19:41

Totally agree re him getting the bus or staying over. Hope you feel less wobbly soon.

Hygge · 21/12/2015 19:47

Your insurance to drive might not be valid after such a procedure anyway.

Can he stay in a hotel? Or arrange for someone else to collect him?

I know my DH would get the bus without a second thought if this was me feeling too ill to drive and collect him, so whatever you and your DH decide, YANBU to stay home and let him make his own way back.

I hope you feel better soon.

Jinglebells99 · 21/12/2015 19:50

I don't think you should be driving 5 hours round trip feeling as you do. I think he's an adult and should be able to get himself around. Why doesn't he drive?( My friend's partner doesn't drive and she is run ragged running him and their children around. We live rurally and public transport is sporadic, but he expects her to drive him hundreds of miles to visit his family, and then when they got there she had to sleep on the floor whilst he had the spare bed!) there may be good reasons why your husband doesn't drive but I still think it is unreasonable for you to do a horrendous journey to fetch him.

eurochick · 21/12/2015 20:57

There is no way you should drive for 5 hours when you are feeling unwell. He can take the bus or find some other solution.

Dipankrispaneven · 21/12/2015 21:43

I think asking you to spend 5 hours driving in the dark would be a bit rich even if you were feeling 100% healthy.

Titsalinabumsquash · 21/12/2015 21:50

YANBU although I agree you should talk to your team about your port flushes making you feel rotten, they shouldn't be making you feel anything at all as far as I know ( DS is the only other person I know with a port)

Original poster

chanelfreak · 22/12/2015 07:19

Thanks for all your words of wisdom ladies, DH got the bus home and I am feeling much better today I also think it has brought it home to him that he really needs to get his ass in gear and learn to drive!

OP posts:

Original poster

chanelfreak · 22/12/2015 07:22

Tits thank you so much, it's not the process of the port getting flushed that makes me feel hideous, it's the fact that I am a big flaming idiot when it comes to anything at all with needles/blood/etc - a total squeamish wimp! Thank you though

OP posts:

PestoFestivio · 22/12/2015 09:34

I'm so pleased you're feeling a lot better this morning and that your DH got the bus back instead of you doing that horrendous drive

icanteven · 22/12/2015 09:37

It would never enter my head to collect him. He can stay at an airport hotel and get the bus home in the morning.

Why would an able-bodied adult ever need to be collected from the airport anyway? Teenagers or elderly parents, maybe, but that's it.

icanteven · 22/12/2015 09:38

Oh dear - I'm sorry. I posted without spotting the OP's update.

YellowDinosaur · 22/12/2015 09:40

I can't believe that if you felt fine you'd be happy to do a 5 hour drive to collect him

I love my dh and do loads for him, but he wouldn't even think to ask this and it wouldn't even cross my mind to offer unless the reason he'd been away was for something really upsetting like a family members death.

YellowDinosaur · 22/12/2015 09:41

Cross posted with icantwven.

I did see the update before posting but still think my wtf is relevant for future requests!

Original poster

chanelfreak · 22/12/2015 09:52

Haha Yellow you are quite right - I really need to grow a pair of balls and tell him to suck it up and get the bus if he insists on using that particular airport just because he can get a cheap flight.

OP posts:

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 22/12/2015 09:57

I wouldn't do a five hour round trip just to collect my husband and I don't have your medical needs!

Glad he did the sensible thing

WhereYouLeftIt · 22/12/2015 10:40

"if he insists on using that particular airport just because he can get a cheap flight."
Even with the cost of getting to/from that airport added?

Anyhoo, the phrase 'cheap flights' means I just have to bring this to your attention .

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