To think if it affected men more there would be more effective treatment for colic or reflux etc?!!!

[Nervouswithnewborn]

Total disclaimer - I know many dads are excellent and up as much as mums but whilst bf it's normally women. Just think is beyond weird that a condition or set of conditions that cause such distress (in this house ten plus hrs sobbing yesterday and that's just ds!) and then also anguish for parents gets treated so often with sort of patronising "oh yeah it's awful but that's the case for months in afraid try some ineffective over the counter stuff" I know there's no definitive cure and must be borderline impossible to research babies meds as can't do control groups etc but feel that the whole approach even from lovely female gp quite condescending. Would like to have a proper approach like "right, there are different things that work for different people we will try this for this weeks then this then this" to make it feel a bit more taken seriously instead of head being cocked to side and no real questions about say length / time of crying, nature of it, other symptoms like viniting, excess saliva, grunting, nappy patterns etc - because there are lots of different overlapping reasons for this distress and some treatments do work for some so surely we should be able to take a more methodical less defeatist approach???!! Maybe v unfair but just don't think hoards of fathers going in however sleep deprived would be this easily dismissed somehow. Probably bollocks. Not slept in weeks :)

Reflux can be treated (as pointed out by previous posters) but colic is not attributed to a particular thing. It is commonly linked to being gastric in origin but there is no evidence base for this. From a personal and professional standpoint I think that overstimulation and overtiredness are often overlooked as contributory factors to colic.

Exactly what kim said.
OP if you need support please try joining the Living With Reflux group on Facebook. It's wonderful. There is lots of support from other mums in the same situation who have been brushed off by health professionals. I have DC who is 6yo and still on meds. Most chikdren grow out of it by 18 months but a small proportion will not so if your baby is struggling to feed bed crying all the time keep pushing. Good luck with your appt.

I only found that I am much less likely to get fobbed off if DH goes to hospital appts with me. Even if he says nothing. Just his mere presence is enough.

DD had serious colic that was all down to overstimulation. No amount of over the counter or perscrption stuff was going to help.

If you think oversimulation is possible (our symptoms included screaming when seeing people she didn't recognise, failure to nap regularly, being fussy during feeding if I was wearing anything other than beige...) then there are many steps you can take to control the environment until the baby is better able to cope.

I find I get less fobbed off when they know I have a PhD....sad but true...

As the 24 hr ph probe test for reflux is intrusive and painful, dr's tend to err on the side of a cascade of meds - ie starting with gaviscon, then building up to see if any work. As I understand it, by the time the meds that work have been found, the baby has often grown out of the reflux, so the symptoms go.

Some babies however have more serious reflux, and do not grow out of it. In ds's case his reflux is now under control with ranitidine, and he sleeps in a special profiling bed with a raisable head. But at it's worst, he was on 4 meds and aspirating reflux into his lungs causing aspiration pneumonia.

Ds has seen many hv, nurses, gps and paeds - some male, some female - we have always been treated with respect wrt his reflux - discussing the possibilities of meds v surgery, and ways of treating his pain etc.

I think where there is a murky area is when a baby has colic - and I think because babies do grow out of this, and it is 'harmless' (whilst horrible and distressing!) it is dismissed as just being 'one of those things'. Unfortunately as it can be confused with reflux I guess in these cases the reflux is not taken seriously.

But I think it would be very worrying if health professionals are not taking reflux seriously - as this is a condition that can continue to adult hood, be a sign of other problems and be dangerous in itself.

Not rtft but just to say, OMEPRAZOLE OMEPRAZOLE OMEPRAZOLE!!!!!!

And try a dairy and soy exclusion diet it BF.

GPS are shite at diagnosing reflux. I had to go to a&e in desperation to get taken seriously.
And agree, I saw 2x (female) gps who both told me to 'adjust my expectations' about newborns when I went in at 4/5 weeks. Was definitely treated like a silly worried first time mum.

DD immediately diagnosed by paediatric registrar (via a&e) and started treatment straight away.

Still so angry DD (and U.S.!) suffered for an extra 4 weeks more than necessary

The GP that finally listened to us was very pragmatic. She said 'try gaviscon, if it's not reflux, it won't help, but if it is, it might'. And fortunately it worked so well he was like a different baby. After being in pain for 4 months.

Gaviscon very rarely works for reflux on its own.
Don't understand why people are waiting months for diagnosis and resolution those poor babies!

Thanks again all those whove been helpful, really appreciate it xxx

A subject very close to my heart OP as both DCs have reflux. DC1 we were fobbed off and given ineffective treatment (even by a consultant paediatrician) such that an endoscopy at age 1 revealed ulcers and oesophagitis due to the amount of acid still coming up. Lansoprazole changed our lives. He's still on it aged 3. DC2, I recognised the symptoms, had a GP who had a plan (skip Gaviscon as it caused constipation with DC1 and is a nightmare to get into a BF baby; try Ranitidine if no improvement in a week or two come back for Omeprazole). Plan worked with Omeprazole via a paediatrician who also diagnosed CMPI. I'm Not sure it's sexism but in my experience expertise amongst GPs and paediatricians varies hugely. Good luck and don't be fobbed off, I really regret not being more strident about DC1 but it's hard especially when you're so sleep deprived.

I have found that if you talk to doctors or any hcp as an equal rather than taking their word as gospel that helps.

For instance I know from my background my parents would never have challenged what any hcp told them whether they believe it or not. They would have been intimidated by the qualifications. I have learnt from my own healthcare adventures to stick up for myself. Challenge the decision, if you've read a study (and quote source) that contradicts what you're being told, then speak up. Doctors don't know everything and there is still a lot of unknowns in medical science including colic.

Never be frightened to say to a doctor you don't agree and why, I always remind them that they've seen me for 5 minutes but I'm the one living with the symptoms or sick child day in and day out.

push, push, push, politely of course.

Perhaps some men are more confident at this than women, like when negotiating a pay rise with the boss. You have absolutely nothing to lose by standing firm and refuse to be dismissed as just another tired mum.

It is a myth that women are less confident to ask for a pay rise. Research shows that they are less likely to get it.