AIBU to think that her ds might not really have food allergies?

[UsedToBeAPaxmanFan]

I know someone whose ds is friendly with my ds. The boys are now in their teens, but have known each other since nursery.

Her ds has multiple food allergies and a very restricted diet. So, no dairy, eggs, gluten, plus assorted other foods like peppers. He was diagnosed at about the age of 8 or 9 so has been on a restricted diet for several years now.

There was an article in The Guardian yesterday about children with food allergies, so I dropped it round to her thinking she'd be interested. We started talking about her ds's allergies and I asked her if her DS'consultant thought he would have them for life. It then transpired that he had never been diagnosd by a doctor but by a private nutritionist who had carried out the allergy tests by putting the trigger foodstuffs in a glass vial on her ds' hand. The foodstuffs had never come into contact with his skin.

I had never realised before that there was no formal dianosis, and think that this boy probably doesn't have multiple food allergies. I'm not saying he might not have one - he used to come up in hives occasionally when he was small, which is why his mum started trying to find the trigger in the first place - but that he's unlikely to be allergic to the amount of foods the "nutritionist" claimed.

Her ds is likely to go through adulthood with this very restricted diet when maybe he doesn't need to.

AIBU to suggest to her to review this and that her ds should seek a genuine medical opinion?

When I was a teenager, I used to babysit a small child who had a severe allergy to dairy. I was told by her parents I could give her any food from the top shelf . One day there was a box of coco pops on the top shelf, so I gave her those.

The next day when I saw her parents, they told me that the coco pops were on the wrong shelf and contain milk. Initially I was horrified , but it turned out their DD was fine, and was now drinking a full glass of milk.

They had been told by a nutritionist when DD was 12 months old that she had this allergy. Whether the nutritionist was wrong, or whether the DD had outgrown the allergy, who knows, but it's always worth getting retested from time to time.

My mum did this when I was young. Bless her she thought she was helping. I avoided gluten for years. I have no problem with gluten.

Wow poor kid. How completely stupid do you have to be though to believe this hind of horse shit? Especially when it impacts on your child's life so much.

A teenage boy completely avoiding dairy, eggs and gluten...does that seem plausible?

Well MY teenage boy avoids dairy. eggs and nuts very responsibly. Does that count?

How do I know he avoids them? Because he would have a serious reaction if he didn't, and if he has a mild reaction to something supposed to be OK* for him he tells me so I stop buying it.

(*Made some dairy and egg free double chocolate chip cookies for him, lovely they were but they gave him a reaction! Grrr . . . must have been a trace of something in the dark chocolate chips which had no ingredients he is allergic to.)

If he's in the 6th form, I would ask him about it next time he's round your house. Say you've read an article about growing out of allergies and why doesn't he take himself to the doctors and get tested.

Food allergies related to eg asthma/eczema are usually quite severe and I can't recall by my DB couldn't eat chocolate or have cows milk products during his childhood but had to have goats milk substitutes and carob.

Now strangely enough he can have cows milk though as he's grown out of the asthma and eczema but he does still get flare ups from time to time.

This teenager should get retested.

Good idea to suggest the growing out of allergies / more sensitive modern tests as a basis for a proper retest now her son's diet cant realistically be so closely controlled by her. Sad she fell for such quackery in the first place.

He defintely used to have a reaction to something when he was smaller, because he had hives and I also remember that when the hives came up he would "zone out". You'd talk to him but he wouldn't really understand, or answer proper, almost as though he was stoned (clearly he wasn't - this was when he was about 8). So his mum took him off to what I thought was a doctor/dietician and that was when the restricted diet started. So there's never been any proper investigation and diagnosis of what he's allergic to. It might be eggs, or dairy, or something else.

I don't see him that often, but when i do i might raise the subject obliquely. I'll also talk to his mum a bit more. I did express some surprise when she told me about the quack nutritionist, but her view was that he was genuine because ds hasn't had any more episodes/ reactions.

These quacks definitely need regulating and in some cases prosecuting.

It may be that her son has or had a food allergy - the likelihood is that unless it was nut allergy he has long since outgrown it.

Of course it would make sense to get some actual proper medical advice, but really that is your friend's business, or indeed her son's depending on how teenage he is (my 14 year old is perfectly capable of taking decisions about her health, and she is old enough to see her GP alone).

I did that same test when I was in my 20s. Just as something to do. It (maybe by coincidence) picked up on the fact that I am cows milk intolerant. Although I would not use this method solely on my child as it's hard to believe that holding a glass vial and being connected to a vega machine (I think it was called that) would really be able to determine intolerance/allergy. However, what I will say is that having a FAilure to Thrive child who can't eat properly, it has been incredibly difficult to diagnose allergies via the NHS. The only reliable way is to eliminate food group and then retest and see if there is a reAction. Mum may have done this with the help of the nutritionist. Clearly may have seen benefit to him excluding all these food groups. If he is thriving I would leave it be.

Of course it's quite possible that her DS eats a more varied diet when she's not around...

My DD has in the past avoided peanuts because of a suspicion of allergy (I'm highly allergic and a few years ago she had a couple of wheezing episodes after eating peanuts). Yesterday she announced that she'd been eating peanuts at school with no problems and would I buy her some peanut butter! (Sadly for her we don't have peanut butter in the house because of the risk to me of contaminated utensils and work surfaces).

Wouldn't surprise me if this lad had done his own "food challenges" outside the home but doesn't dare admit it to his mum.

Quack tests almost always "pick up on" dairy or wheat allergies.

Because we are currently programmed to think that dairy and wheat allergies are incredibly common, and they are both things that we can do without. And they are both things that many people could probably do with eating a bit less of- intolerances or not. The quacks depend on the placebo effect AND the fact that eating a healthier diet makes us feel better.

I had one of those once I should avoid white wine and vinegar apparently Pinot Grigio seems safe enough

"Hives plus 'zoning out' " sounds like quite a dangerous anaphylatic reaction (the zoning out can be caused by a sudden drop in blood pressure - next stage is unconsciousness). So retesting (by a qualified medical professional) sounds like an excellent idea.

I had these tests done, and it picked up caffine, dairy and nuts. I don't believe these are allergies but just intolerances. I gave up dairy for 2 years and felt so much better however I soon realised that if I ate something containing these I wasn't going to have a bad allergic reaction but just deal with the consequences of an upset stomach.

I would suggest she get it reviewed as it gets very limiting.

3sugars it's amazingly limiting. The mum spends hours baking gluten free, egg and dairy free etc bread, biscuits etc but he's not going to do that once he leaves home. He can eat rice and potatoes, and some fruit and veg (but not all), and he seems healthy enough. But it is difficult. I remember he came for a sleepover once and had to bring some special breakfast cereal because he couldn't eat any ordinary breakfast cereal, nor any toast etc.

YANBU!

I wonder if we know the same person. The one I know won't let her ds visit grandparents or other relatives because of these 'allergies'.

Oh no it's not the same one. There's no hives or anything in this situation.

I just can't understand the mum's mentality. It sounds very attention seeking not to get him retested. My 15 month old had a reaction to dairy when we started weaning her, I am desperate to get her allergy test results back to see if she can have milk again as I really don't want her to have a restricted diet as she gets older and I am still breastfeeding and haven't eaten cheese for about 9 months.

My son was taken to such a quack when 5 by his stepmother (with no reference to me first and without his father), he came home announcing to me that he was allergic to dairy and cats and that he had a zinc defficiency and dyspraxia. I was livid- he had not seen any proper medical practitioner nor had I been consulted before he was taken to see this quack.

I took him and the nonesense report to my doctor who suggested I sue the "therapist"- she was really angry and asked my exdp to come and see her. The doctor said that if he was worried about our son then he should see a Dr and she would arrange for our son to see a pediatric specialist. He declined and said he thought our son was "probably ok after all".

How dare these idiotic people be allowed to make diagnoses about things that could severely limit a child's nutrition and opportunties to have a balanced diet. They make my blood boil.

This poor child in the OP has had a restricted diet then for years, it beggars belief that any mother would take the word of some kinesiologist and not get it checked out by their family doctor. Does she have other bonkers ideas about cannabis curing cancer and coconut oil being better than suncream too?

I know somebody who had themselves and 1 child tested by somebody who did the glass thing turns out they have multiple allergies i was like but what can you say to your friend her poor son though restricted diets must be awful. The person i know is still getting same symptoms as before even on her specifi c diet

This reminds me of an incident told to me by a friend a few years ago. She had a housemate who claimed to be dangerously allergic to bananas, such that she couldn't tolerate any bananas being brought into the house at all. My friend thought that rather odd, but duly complied and bananas were banned.
Then one evening they were invited to a friend's place (friend also aware of the banana ban) and after their meal they were all sitting and chatting on the sofa when suddenly the allergic friend noticed a banana in the fruit bowl. She started feeling unwell, insisting it be removed and saying that she had known something was wrong as soon as they had arrived but hadn't known what. Now she was in the room with the banana, she could smell it and inhaling the vapour was making her ill.
It turned out that it wasn't even a real banana it was a wax one, put there to make the fruit bowl look attractive!

YANBU. And 'nutritionist' is a meaningless term. 'Dietitian' is the protected term. I bet she checks his poo as well poor kid.

I actually feel sorry for the child. Imagine going to a party and being told he can't eat this food because he is "allergic". My son is cmpa and it is awful. I have to check everything and I really hope he will outgrow it. He's only 9 months at the moment. Try and encourage your friend to seek a proper diagnosis. He could actually be totally fine

The thing is though that it's not always easy to get a diagnosis or a referral to an allergy clinic. We did, but I actually think we have been lucky.

I was talking to another parent recently whose DD had had a very bad reaction to peanuts, her lips had swelled, she was covered in hives etc but she had not been allowed to have an epipen. The mum had tried and tried, written letters, etc, all to no avail. As far as I can remember she had not even been referred to an allergy clinic (I may be wrong about this but I remember giving her the name of our allergy consultant so either they didn't see a consultant at all or just saw a general paediatrician). Her DD's reaction sounded much the same as my DS's reactions and he's got 6 epipens!

If you meet that sort of indifference from GPs and paediatrician, I can understand why, knowing you have seen a bad reaction in your child, you take it all into your own hands - some people feel they have no choice.

And I say all the above as a parent who is absolutely SICK of parents claiming their kids are allergic to things when they clearly are not: "I'm allergic to milk as well - I had four McDonald's milkshakes and I was sick" - yes that's an actual quote from an actual child!