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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In wondering why my DP never likes/comments on my stuff?

41 replies

SodOffThen · 19/12/2015 20:46

I apologise in advanced for the dreaded Facebook thread Wink but I'm actually quite curious...

We've sadly had a few losses but been trying for DC1. So, no children of our own to comment on.

Whenever I put something up about my nephew on FB, and even tag him on it, he never comments or likes it. I know he sees it because if I ask "have you seen such and such a picture?" He'll respond with something like "the one with DN riding a teacup? Yeah, cute"

However, if MIL/BIL puts anything up about our niece, he's the first to like/comment, tagged or not. It's really quite upsetting, in a first world problem sense...

I've confronted him about why he never comments/likes my things, and he just says he doesn't think of doing it. Yet, he's often liking things on FB, I can see them on my Newsfeed!

AIBU ridiculous? I know it sounds daft, but I feel like he just doesn't care for my things as much (of which aren't constant and annoying by the way, they're meaningful). If anything, this has got to be a case of bad social media form.. laughs

He sees my nephew more and has a closer bond, so it's not as if he's a distant child he sees every now and again.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Original poster
SodOffThen · 19/12/2015 21:42

LaLyra yes, it's exactly that, you've hit the nail on the head there Blush

OP posts:
reni2 · 19/12/2015 21:49

I imagine I wouldn't comment on my dh's feeds too much, it might look like we don't talk at home. I can also see why he wouldn't comment on a child he sees a lot, I would certainly not comment on pictures of my own dc, or of dc at an event I took part in, that would be weird.

I'm not on fb, so discount my opinion at will.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 19/12/2015 21:52

He sees my nephew more and has a closer bond

^This is more meaningful than a bunch of likes and comments on FB.

AyeAmarok · 19/12/2015 21:58

Maybe he'd just rather have a conversation with you, you know, in private about stuff.

Rather than the enforced fakery that is FB?

MamaLazarou · 19/12/2015 22:00

I think you're being a wee bit daft, love. Good luck with ttc Flowers

Oysterbabe · 19/12/2015 22:09

Tbh I'm much more likely to comment on something about my one of my own nieces or nephews than DH's niece.
I hate it when couples talk to eachother on FB, it just seems fake.

Florene · 19/12/2015 22:11

It really, really doesn't matter.

Casmama · 19/12/2015 22:14

I think it's probably quite normal to feel more for a niece/nephew who is a child of your sibling rather than your partners niece/nephew. He obviously likes your nephew as he spends time with him so I think this will probably have to be enough for you.

nosleepat10 · 19/12/2015 22:19

Agree with Elsa. If he's close to your nephew, it might not enter his head to go liking his photos on fb. Same with couples. If you're really close to someone, fb is too superficial. I would think it's a good thing he treats you differently, you are actually more important to him.

UnGoogleable · 19/12/2015 22:27

It's normal behaviour for him to sit in the same room as his family, while each of them are interacting on their phones? This is one of the reasons why I hate smartphones.

OK, let's get to the crux of the matter - you're ttc. He's showing his niece more attention than your nephew (in his online life, not in real life).

You're worried he doesn't really want a baby as much as you do because he shows more (online) affection for his side of the family than he does yours.

Am I right?

elliejjtiny · 20/12/2015 00:55

DH never likes my stuff, then he moans when I don't like his photos. It's different apparently because his photos are "art" and mine are just random photos of the dc [needs to get a life, do more interesting things and take photos of said interesting things emoticon].

IrishDad79 · 20/12/2015 00:59

This thread is an example of one of the many reasons I've never bothered with facebook. It turns apparently mature adults into insecure teeny-boppers. "Why didn't you "like" the photo I put up?" Jesus H Christ, I couldn't be dealing with that shit every day.

araiba · 20/12/2015 06:17

because he's not a 12 year old?

and he lives with you

theycallmemellojello · 20/12/2015 07:45

Do you comment on his niece? It's not u that he loves her more, but it is u that he shows it. Facebook posts are prob not such an issue but he should try to get on top of this. I think you should raise it as being an issue with treating nieces/nephews equally rather than an issue with Facebook.

ShamefulPlaceMarker · 20/12/2015 08:40

Is you dh good with you nephew in real life? As in he is nice, affectionate, playful. Doesn't ignore etc?.... If so, surely that's all that matters? Not what his actions are on fb? Get a grip ffs!

Nataleejah · 20/12/2015 08:49

Yes, YABU
I assume he's got more stuff to do online than comment/like your fb stuff.

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