To think it's never ok to smack children? Especially ones with learning disabilities!

[TheCunnyFunt]

On facebook I'm friends with the girlfriend of a friend, last night she posted the attached picture. I commented on it saying I strongly disagreed, and then a debate ensued, two of her friends joined in the debate, one agreeing with me and one agreeing with her. A couple of hours later the GF reappears and says the following -
A little smack on the bum does no harm. You have to let them know who's in charge or they will be spoilt brats and throw tantrums all the time. A good tap on the bum never did my family any harm

And more debating followed until her boyfriend (my friend) appears and comments with -
With all due respect, you grew up in one environment with one set of values, GF grew up in another environment with a different set of values. What makes your views anymore valid than hers? When I was a child I would receive a smacked hand when I did something seriously wrong that was dangerous or rude. They didn't hurt, but they were a shock. The shock told me I'd done wrong, and I needed to not do it again. As for whether I thought it was alright to then go and smack someone else for being naughty, I knew it wasn't, and why? Because my mum took the time to tell me why I'd received the smacked hand, and to explain to me the importance of behaving correctly. As a child I wouldn't be able to tell when someone had been naughty and when to smack someone's hand, so I would have just smacked someone for no reason. Adults have more reasoning capacity than kids so they can make the judgement better. Also, does your DD have any learning disabilities or anything like that? If not, then you're not really qualified to make a judgement on how children with learning disabilities should be disciplined. I have known many children with learning disabilities and was in fact one myself, and I can tell you that they do not always, and very rarely in fact, listen and behave when given a time out, or have their toys taken away. Sometimes a light smack is needed, just to let them know they're in the wrong.

WTF!?! Surely smacking a child with learning difficulties is even worse than smacking a child without?! I was so shocked at this I couldn't even think of a response.

I would have found it particularly objectionable that the boyfriend was saying that smacking is even more appropriate for children with learning difficulties. In effect, it's treating them like animals - it's an argument along the lines of "they won't understand if you try to explain good behaviour, therefore you've got to make them learn through fear". It's utterly disgusting.

Exactly the same here kali

In fact if I was playing up in the supermarket, a quick smack on the legs would put me right.

If my Mum had waited a couple of hours to punish me when we got home, I wouldn't have remembered wtf she was doing it

Shocking! Yanbu!

QueenArseClangers, I completely agree. That's why I describe childhood smacking as "never did me any significant harm but nor did it do me any good". I can vividly remember the smarting on the back of my legs from one of mum's slaps but more importantly, how I would will myself to be stony cold and show no emotion. There was no way I was going to show that I had been hurt. Now, that can't be right.

So for the pro smackers, I would simply say that whenever you smack your dc, they harden just that little bit more. So DH and I never have smacked. Ever.

Sorry you felt like that finola not nice for you, but not the case for everyone who was smacked.
I certainly haven't hardened ( i do wish i could a bit) as i said my dad and i were close. I could go to him about anything.