To make DH stick to his Christmas arrangements

[Newbrummie]

So I posted a couple of months ago ex was coming back from Australia, hadn't seen or paid a penny towards his kids in a long long time.
He's arrived back, got a job and should have picked the kids up today for the Christmas break, only because of the new job he hasn't and i understand that.
However day in day out i take the kids to school and go to work. I think he should still have them for the agreed 2 weeks, the week between xmas and new year he's agreed to and then the week after and he can take them into school then go to work.
i have had the children 24/7 for two years without a break, i want to go away, i'm knackered.
I fear all hell will break loose if i suggested it.

I totally agree with voldy. Kids talk to me very honestly about the effects of their parental dysfunctional relationships on them-if you think things like this don't affect kids, you're kidding yourselves. If I told my parents the truth about how their divorce had affected me, they would be utterly gutted. I shield them from it. Fine, get him round to make dinner/do homework/bath etc for a few nights and then ask dc if they would feel comfortable being with him for a few nights to get a break. But please don't think it doesn't have the potential to really mess with their heads.

It's quite widely known in psychology that any period of absence from the primary care giver longer than 2 weeks before the age of 7 does irreparable harm. So you'd be right on the cusp of that at 2 weeks.

Totally get that you need a break but after years of day in day out you'll probably find you feel well rested after a week and are missing them like mad!

So 2 weeks exactly and it's all good ?

I can't believe I agreed to it in the first place tbh, but I suspect if it got to court and he wanted 2 weeks he would get it.

If he took you to court and the school holidays were two weeks, he would be given one.

No, I imagine it's a sliding scale.

And, of course, we all know the courts are wholly up on what is best for children and women?

Dont give him the choice. Men play this game every fucking day of the week!. The moment he picks them up, scarper. They know him well enough and are old enough to cope. Run run run

I understand well the need for a break, but no mother would willingly do that and be able to actually relax, surely? Wow.