So I've just been told to bugger off but who's unreasonable

[NaughtToThreeSadOnions]

I have just back to the UK after seeing my goddaughter Christmas show last night that's not strictly that relivent but I'm tired haven't eaten since I left ireland this morning so I thought I'd pop in to my local well known pub chain for a fairly cheap lunch.
Any way the pub is fairly empty so I sat at the bearest dee booth, I prefer the booths I left my coat there, you have to have a table to order food. . Any way I go to the bar order my lunch and get a drink, when I come back there's a bloke standing he is on his own and the pub has plenty of four/6 place setting tables in case he's being joined by someone.and he says is "is there any one sitting here love?!" So I resist the temptation to go well me, and politely say "well no but I'd rather sit alone please" I don't know this man. He asks again so "I say sorry I've just ordered my lunch" as I've given them this table number for the order I can't really move. To which he replies "well if you want to eat there's plenty of other tables" yes I can see that but this the one I've chosen.
I did I'm afriad reply with "well there's plenty of other tables for you to sit at too"
he then told me to bugger off.

So Aibu for wanting to enjoy my lunch in the relative piece and quiet? Why do people feel the need to join can mole te strangers I'd understand if it was a bar or comfy seating but this booth is in what is the more seperate restraunt part of the pub the tables are set out for dining rather than social drinking. away from the bar and nearer the kitchen.

OK, this is a bit of a diversion ... I changed my British attitude after doing some lengthy travelling on my own, as an adult. (It's all a bit different when you're 18 and in your first flush of freedom.)

Ours is one of very, very few countries in the world where individual privacy is valued above social connection. There were countless times when people just offered me some company - and, for that matter, did me favours - purely because I was alone and they thought it'd be nice for me. Generally, it was. More than a few times, when I felt embarrassed at people's generosity with their time & hospitality, they said "You'd so the same if we were strangers in your country!" and I couldn't answer. Because we wouldn't.

If I see someone on their own now - particularly women - I do offer conversation. I mean, I don't force 'em; I'm still British! I imagine some folks probably find it weird or creepy. But enough solitary humans are clearly glad of a chat, and it adds a little something to my day too.

For some reason this thread reminds of my dad's light hearted rants when we went on camping trips when I was young. We'd set up our tent in a empty or nearly empty field and sure enough some other family would come along and set their tent up right next to ours. It used to drive my subtly misanthropic dad nuts!

So what happened? Did he sit at your table while you ate?

Imo it is more ok to ask to join a table with 2 or more people on it but still spaces in a busy place than to join a person on their own (unless it is a train table). Joining someone who is alone uninvited is a bit intrusive.

If I see someone on their own now - particularly women - I do offer conversation this btw is totally different to foisting yourself on someone.

You did the right thing standing your ground OP. Last year some guy came and sat next to me on a tram when there were loads of free seats and my weirdo alarm went off so I just stood up and made him let me pass, walked down as if to get off then sat elsewhere.

Saw in the local press a man of his exact (very distinct) appearance sexually assaulted a woman on a bus nearby that night and was wanted for a few other attacks on public transport too.

I think often people who want to do unpleasant things target people who are who polite or intimidated to say no or move away.

But again that's different Garlic, surely if the person you offered conversation too said sorry I just want to sit alone you would leave them?

No, small legs, he went away he did glare at me when he passed me on the way to the toilet later but I was just a bit taken aback and confused to why he didn't take sorry but no then told me to bugger off.

See I hate siting next to people on public transport, booya, which is another reason I asked because the other day there were plenty of seats on the bus and a woman came and sat next to me, then asked if I wanted to talk to her, I asked her to let me out and went and sat at the back. She stared at me as if I was weird. Which it probably was but I just don't like sitting next to people. I can't cope with it. I certanly wouldn't like your situation.

Op you are most defiantly NbU. What is with people wanting to invade the space of complete strangers?.....seriously, on buses, trains at restaurants etc, I find it very weird. Some people, including myself do not want some randomer to sit down next to me when, for example I'm trying to enjoy a quiet coffee, if I don't want someone to sit next to me then they won't, and I won't give in.

I assumed hopping was taking the piss with their post actually? Since they were writing in the style of a 14 year old, I assumed it was deliberate?

No?!?

YANBU. Obviously if a pub is crowded you accept that you have to share a table but certainly not in the circumstances you describe.

Yes, it is different, Naught - I did confess to a diversion!

I never do the "follow everyone" thing, either. I've now accepted that a huge amount of people do, and they don't realise they do it so there's no point getting agitated about it. It's a pita when you end up having to move your picnic stuff or whatever, simply because some other twit has social velcro. But there it is.

You were very unlucky that this twit snarled at you! You must have happened on an unusually 'sticky' person - either that or he thinks it's his seat, which amounts to much the same thing (weird & grumpy twit.)

This happened to me once. My mum was queueing up for food and I went to get a table (yes I know, but in my defence I was rather unwell and nursing a knee injury and couldn't stand up for much longer) and about a minute after I sat down, a lady plonked herself in the seat next to me.
Three times I told her that the seat was for my mum and could she please sit elsewhere, but she acted like I did not exist.
My mum arrived with the food and asked what was going on, but again no response.
Even stranger, another lady arrived a few minutes later, placed a drink and a cake in front of the table invader and then walked to a different table and sat on her own.
My mum and I carried on talking as if the first lady wasn't there and I had no intention of moving.
Very weird it was.

OP you were not at all unreasonable.

I dislike my personal space being invaded by non-family members and it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Like anyone else, I do accept compromise in very busy situations such as rush hour on public transport, or perhaps if I am in a café at a very busy time, but other than that I like to be left alone.

Yanbu. Reminds me of a weekend break in Paris where we went to a characterful restaurant that was so busy but was recommended for the atmosphere so we went.The waiter assured us he had room then led us to a table for 4 with a couple already sitting at it. It was either sit or look pompous and English. Everyone was mixing so we sat with the German couple already there. We were feeling awkward but we had a great night chatting with themthough we did get through copious carafes of vin rouge to help us get over our englishness

Even stranger, another lady arrived a few minutes later, placed a drink and a cake in front of the table invader and then walked to a different table and sat on her own.

Oh, it was a massive row, wasn't it? "OK, you'd rather sit with complete strangers than me, but I've bought your tea & cake anyway. Feel guilty. And choke on it."