Having one MIL or grandparent who vastly overbuys for family holidays and birthdays isn't quite as benign a situation as I would have thought a few years ago. Since I've become the OTHER in-law and now the other grandmother to a shopaholic, non-stop gifter, almost all of the enjoyment of choosing and buying a present for my DC and family has vanished. Shopping is not my very favorite activity in the best of times, but now I'm finding I almost dread the actual festive events that I would normally have looked forward to. At the time being, it's very difficult not to feel that I appear cheap and not particularly generous when I arrive with my one or two (what I thought were well-thought out) gifts. Planning purchases is not fun at all when I know that what I'm getting is probably going to be a duplicate or a less extravagant version of what's already in the works. Inquiring about this does no good whatsoever, as I've discovered. I've done the one-of-kind, personalized gifts too -- but they just get lost in the shuffle.
I also find that I'm getting, at heart, angry at what I'm now seeing, perhaps unfairly, as some really selfish behavior and a lack of boundaries as to roles in a family dynamic. Other issues are at play, obviously, but so infuriating! But how could I possibly fault someone for being so very generous and who has been nothing but nice to me, right? Nothing to do but try not to let it bother one and remember that it's the family time together that matters, right? Except there's no freaking time after all the opening, oohing, discussing, and trying out and setting up of said gifts! (OP has struck a nerve here -- I've never come across this before and, until now, have never been caught up at all in what people buy for others or, actually, even so very much what people buy for me. I'm just glad to be remembered. You know, thanks for noticing me! Also, there's some kind of a clash of taste levels going on, IYSWIM.)