Aibu to be tired of being told how easy my life is?

[Gettingtired]

Have name changed for this as potentially outing. My mother has a lovely habit of making everything about her. Granted she's 52 and works full time as well as having a hobby that earns her money. When I was 25 she decided she didn't want me living in shared accommodation and so offered to join me in getting a mortgage. I put in 20 grand and she put in 60 we have 141 grand left to pay off. 8 years later me and my husband and our 2 children live in the house. We have a 25% share in the property she has 75%. We pay her £800 a month and some of the bills on top. She pays the remainder of the bills. The monthly mortgage payments are £500 so she pays whatever is supplementary to the extra 300 that we pay. She won't tell me how much that is exactly as she has a history of treating me like a child about how it leaves her with no money left at the end of the month. She does live rent free with her partner but frequently points out spend all of her money on keeping me in a home.
This morning she came over and asked me what I have done yesterday day as I work 20 hours over 2.5 days a week and the rest of the time I'm free as I have a 2 year old and a 7 year old. The two year old goes to nursery on the days I work but is it home with me the rest of the time and I do the usual school drop-off and pick-ups for my oldest. I told her I'd spend the day cleaning and looking after my 2 year old she told me I was so lucky that I get to clean and genuinely meant this and then went off in a rant about how she lives in a s* hole because she has to work all the time to pay for me and how she won't ever be able to retire because of this. I tried offering her more money although to be honest we don't really have a significant amount leftover at the end of the month but we get by ok.

She also said to everyone who will listen that she frequently baby-sits for me however the truth face she has looked after one child maybe 4 times for a couple of hours this year and only on one occasion did I actually go out. The other was parents evening and when my other child was in hospital overnight in February. I don't mind not having much hands on help but I do wish she wouldn't tell everyone lies about how involved she is. Am I being unreasonable to think that whilst monetary wise she does help out significantly that doesn't necessarily make my life so much easier than hers?

Sorry just re-read. On a £141k mortgage what are your monthly repayments? From your post is sounds like you're paying £800 plus bills and she's paying additional to that too?

Could you buy a house of your own and separate your self from the investment house. You could then rent out the investment and split the profits/sell.

Great idea golphin

I am good with numbers so will try and summarise this:-

Total house value:- £221k (20+60+141)
You put in :- £20k (c9% of house value)
She put in:- £60k (c27% of house value)
Mortgage:- £141k (c64% of house value)

You pay the mortgage (although it is in her name? As it comes out of her account.)
You pay some bills directly.
You pay £300 towards other bills that have a value that you don't know and she won't tell you.

You get the benefit of living in the house.

But at sale - despite investing 9% and paying the mortgage off another 64% (so 73% altogether) you only get 25%.

Ok - there are lots of ways that this could be done fairly but the methodology is basically this:-

As she owns 75% of the house and you own 25% this is how it should be done to be fair:-

You pay all bills.
You pay £125 of mortgage plus 75% of market rent on house
She pays £375 of mortgage and gets 75% of market rent on house

How does the rent on the house compare to your mortgage.

Whatever else you do you need to get all the bills put in your name to stop all this whining. I can't imagine she is paying that much (if anything at all) on top of your £300 so all this "I can't afford to retire" is just to make you feel bad.

Personally I would start looking at whether you can buy her out (it sounds like you have equity so you shouldn't be - effectively - renting when you can afford to buy) or if not, selling the house and buying another one that is yours.

If the house gets sold now though, I haves sneaky suspicion that her mum will think she is owed 75% of the profit.

Sorry, OP. I think you are in a financial mess, as I said earlier. I would get a solicitor involved pronto to sort out what is fair legally now. And then separate your financial afford from your mum's. It just doesn't sound healthy. Or fair.

Curly You are absolutely right. I think Op should get out now before she plugs even more money in.

Was the house bought via tenancy in common? I.e. where the division of equity is noted (25/75 split) ? If not then you may well have got yourself into quite a financial bind

Mumoftwo's post is correct about how such an arrangement should work.

If you are paying your mum 800 a month but only benefit from the increase in equity on a 25% share in the house then to be frank your own mother has shafted you for thousands.

You need legal advice and fast. I would seek to sell up ASAP and disentangle yourself financially from her.

Threads like this make me so angry. You are being taken for a rude by someone you should be ankle to trust.

I agree I think she will shaft you financially and yet still continue to be nasty to you about it all!!