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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

When you give something away for free, FOR FREE on Facebook, and they don't turn up and then ask if you can deliver. Quite lighthearted, although ragey too

114 replies

NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight · 17/12/2015 12:22

It's a cushion for an Ikea Poang chair. Nothing very exciting, but it seemed a shame for dh to take it to the tip when he went last weekend. So I offered it for free on the local Facebook. Straightaway, a woman said she wanted it. She could pick up today, which is my day off. She wasn't sure what time but it would definitely be morning after 10.30 and she'd let me know.

I just messaged her to ask what time to expect her. Quite a lot to do today what with it being my last free day off before Christmas and having a toddler with an extensive social schedule.

'Oh s*' she replies, 'I forgot. Can you deliver it to me? I'm in x location'.

Ffs! Grrr! No I bloody can't. It's the week before Christmas and x location is a good 10 miles away on the other side of town. Plus I'm giving it away for free. Dh was going to take it to the tip last weekend but instead it's been sitting in my hallway ever since.

Tell me your Facebook giving away stuff for free outrages. I need to know if I'm being a little bit irrational (8 months pregnant so hormones are doing funny things), or if my rage is justified.

And breathe.

OP posts:
BettyBluebell · 17/12/2015 13:32

Theres a guy in my village who has been getting cheap baby stuff through our local fb page, increasing the price and selling it on! He was also getting women to deliver the car seats, prams etc to him. They've compared notes and blocked him.

Yokohamajojo · 17/12/2015 13:33

The ones that really wind me up is those that desperately need very important baby stuff like cot, pram, bottles everything but then attach a loooong list of do's and dont's makes me think they don't really need it but want a particular thing.

I have now stopped giving away things that I need to get rid of promptly, I still occasionally advertise things and then if they get picked up they get picked up, but I won't get stressed about it (as I have done in the past when people rearrange 10 times and then don't show up)

I did give away a stair gate to a lovely bloke though and he came when he said and was very grateful. That's how it should work!!

ShebaShimmyShake · 17/12/2015 13:42

Someone was recently giving away a bundle of DVDs and console games on Freecycle - so nice things to have, but by no means essential. He said if there was a lot of interest, he would wait until X time and then draw a name out of a hat.

The sob stories started piling in. Within half an hour the post was inundated with people demanding that they receive it all because they had a disabled child, had just lost their job, were widowed, were 95, had no money to buy food for their kids, etc etc etc. I don't want to be insensitive, but it was really sickening. At one point there was even some infighting about it. The giver never revealed who received it (he PMed them in private) but if it had been me I would have intentionally given it to one of the very few people who simply asked to be entered into the draw.

Original poster
NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight · 17/12/2015 13:49

Feeling better after reading these! We've had massive amounts of building work done over the last year and I've managed to save a fortune on skips by giving away lots of the bulky things, like old doors and windows. It's win win! Most people have turned up when they said they would and thanked us. Some of them though...

There was the guy who came to collect a upvc door. This was for free. I'd listed the dimensions and a photo. Anyway, apparently he'd wanted a metal one and it was too short. He got quite funny about it. We had an aluminium door leaning against the wall. We were keeping it but moving it, and he asked if he could have it. He ummed and ahhed and decided to take the door anyway, but THEN he moaned that it was too tall to fit in his car! Even though he was annoyed that it was too short! He drove off muttering to himself with the boot open and a door sticking out.

OP posts:
TheClacksAreDown · 17/12/2015 13:49

I've had quite a few problems using freecycle, far less via facebook. I think partly because people are normally using their own name/details of facebook whereas on freecycle many use an anonymous email address. So more incentive to behave.

Helenluvsrob · 17/12/2015 13:53

Gumtree stuff sold cheaply seems the best for reliable collection- tried to freecycle a cabin bed- endless stupid questions "how tall is it" - read the add....

Same add on gumtree charge £10. Came next day at arranged time and handed over the tenner with a smile and a thank you!

GasLIghtShining · 17/12/2015 13:54

abusive messages to someone turning up in a nice car who 'obvs don't need free stuff

Just because they turn up in a nice car. My DH has often lent his company car to colleagues to collect something so should they make a point of saying 'it's not my car'. When the DC were younger there were times when we didn't have two pennies to rub together nice car or not.

beela · 17/12/2015 14:00

I've given up giving stuff away on fb. At least if you take it to a charity shop then someone might actually say thank you.

Original poster
NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight · 17/12/2015 14:02

I've relisted it and someone is collecting it tomorrow! I'll put the scissors away Wink

Facebook selling pages do seem to bring out the worst in people. Some of the stupid questions I've seen... Can u deliver? This is a popular question on my local ones, but the people asking never say where they live.

Or I saw one the other day where someone asked where someone was (the area was included in the description). The seller patiently replied, and gave her a big supermarket as a reference point. The would be buyer replied 'where's that lol'.

Where's that lol? Seriously? Who doesn't have Google maps in this day and age?

OP posts:
beela · 17/12/2015 14:03

I agree Helen - if there is some money being handed over then people seem to take it more seriously and give you a bit more respect (god, I sound like an old lady!)

lampygirl · 17/12/2015 14:03

I make a point of linking to the local toy/department/DIY* store when people ask 'is anyone selling xyz...' They do my head in.

*delete as appropriate

goodnightdarthvader1 · 17/12/2015 14:04

Gumtree stuff sold cheaply seems the best for reliable collection- tried to freecycle a cabin bed- endless stupid questions "how tall is it" - read the add....

Conversely people who advertise furniture for sale but don't give the dimensions drive me up the wall! There was one on Gumtree who even said "message me for dimensions". WHY???? Is it a secret?!

Sorry, divert. As you were

KatharinaRosalie · 17/12/2015 14:14

I'm taking a big bag or beautiful baby clothes, including a brand new expensive snowsuit, to a collection for refugees tomorrow, as I've had enough of the time wasters. If an item is £90 new, is unworn with tags on and you want it for 10 and me to deliver to the other end of town at the time suitable for you, you are taking the piss just a little..

There's one on my local selling page who offers ridiculous prices for everything, then gets upset when sellers don't agree. One of the last conversations went like this:

Seller: price 500.
Buyer: 100?
Seller: 500
Buyer:100?
Seller:500

Buyer: Admins, this seller person is not serious, not selling their items, just teasing buyers! Waaahhh

Jibberjabberjooo · 17/12/2015 14:17

Wanted buggy for girl, that one irritates me too. As does 'need gone'.

Whoknewitcouldbeso · 17/12/2015 14:30

I find Facebook selling pages incredibly rude too. Some of the replies people get blow me away. I wouldn't dream of just saying 'No' or 'it looks dirty' or '£5?' when the person has offered an item for £30. Makes me wonder how any of these people co exist with others outside of cyberspace.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 17/12/2015 14:52

I've just remembered another annoyance of mine;

"£50 if gone today".

Why? If someone doesn't snap it up for £50 today, will it be worth £100 tomorrow?

moggle · 17/12/2015 14:53

Well I have a nicer story, a girl on our local page was asking (nicely!) over the course of a few months for any free baby stuff and even better if it was at all possible for people to deliver to where she lived as she didn't have a car. She was offered a surprising amount, then a few months later she posted a photo of her and her new baby in its room with all the mix and match stuff that people had given her and a lovely gushing message of what it had meant to her and her boyfriend. It was really nice!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 17/12/2015 15:34

(Possibly) useful tip from a friend's experience of trying and failing to give a couple of wardrobes away for free. Finally fed up of all the timewasters, she left them at the end of her drive with a huge notice: "£50 to first caller"

They were nicked within hours ...

DefinitelyNotElsa · 17/12/2015 15:39

YANBU. People who do that drive me nuts.

When we moved, I tried to get rid of my bike (relatively new, in good working condition) via a FB site. I didn't want much for it - £10 perhaps. I got mucked around so badly by a potential buyer that I took it outside and put a note on it saying 'Please take me. Not needed by owner. Happy cycling!'. It was gone within half an hour.

specialsubject · 17/12/2015 15:49

Poang cushion for free? I'll have it if you get a no-show... Smile

had some experience with this a couple of years back before moving. Stuff on ebay for 99p wouldn't go (I don't do that anymore!). Put it on freecycle and they bite your hand off.

more recently I've had two cases of putting stuff on ebay, someone bidding and winning, being very keen to arrange to pick it up, speaking on the phone...and then no-show and never getting back in touch again. If you don't want it, don't bid. It's not hard...or is it?

dustarr73 · 17/12/2015 15:58

I was giving away a lovely Spiderman Jacket that my ds had grown to big for.He wore it once or twice.Had it on a free page on fb,.Some woman says she take it and i say grand,when you collecting it.

She says no i want you to deliver it to x place.Which was at least 2 buses away from where i live.I told her to go jump.

It would have cost me more to get rid of it that what it actually cost me to buy it.

DinosaursRoar · 17/12/2015 16:03

SantasLittleMonkey - normally it's because they know they could get a higher amount if they hang on, or ebay it, but want it gone quickly so are prepared to take a 'hit' on the value for speed, but if you are going to make them wait a week before you collect it, then they'll just ebay it instead.

PegsPigs · 17/12/2015 16:19

I've got a great example screenshot if anyone can tell me what app I cam use to edit out people's personal information (Android)!

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 17/12/2015 16:27

Our FB freecycle type group often gets something along the lines of:

"I'm moving into a new flat and need EVERYTHING"

Then nice people come along and offer them sofas/cutlery/curtains/bedding etc all for free and they turn it down because it doesn't match their colour scheme. Hmm

twinkletoedelephant · 17/12/2015 16:30

I use to love Facebook/freecycle pages. There was a couple selling a low table which we turned into a Thomas train table for the twins and sent the a photo. The woman who gave me her garden bench and helped me load it in the car ( I was fourth in line but only one to show up)

It was fantastic when my mum died and we had to get all of her disability aids out of the house asp ( my brother has severe LD and thought she took them all to heaven and would worry if they were around) and elderly chap and his son came round within the hour with a beautiful sympathy card. He thanked us so much as all the stuff wheelchair special chairs etc.. Would make a huge difference to his life. He even sent us a letter a photo of him out and about in mums wheelchair with his family a few weeks later as he wanted us to be sure to know he was using it not just sold it ( it was a pricy one)