To decline this invitation for Christmas lunch

[cantaffordsmokedsalmon]

A school mum has invited me to join them and I know she means well but it's in that really pushy 'won't take no for an answer way!'

I don't want to go! Can't afford presents for her or her children and can't really afford a bottle of wine. Plus I hate turkey. And it's just the embarrassment of it all!

How do you decline? I know I shouldn't have opened my mouth but I have and I need to wriggle out of it now.

Send her one of those decline cards????

Thank you for the offer it is very kind however I have thought it through and decided I would rather have a chilled day at home.

Does she maybe just really like you? I went because it was a good friend and had a lovely time, wasn't charity. If she's not a really good friend I can see your point

She is lovely but she definitely sees this as a charitable act if you see what I mean

I am really! It's a bit sad but could be worse

I'll just read my book! I have spent Christmas alone before and while I'd definitely prefer to spend it with people it isn't the worst thing if you see what I mean.

Being on your own is better than a lot of people's family Christmases - the John Lewis advert is an advert for a reason - be kind to yourself most of all

Are your dc going to be with you? Sometimes when you don't want to do something and you do it anyway you have a great time. Don't worry about presents, explain you don't really eat turkey but eat the rest and maybe just go with it?

Sorry, Hesteron

It's actually not a lie at all.

It would be very awkward - she's lovely but very religious and I think she sees it as the twenty first century act of Scrooge and tiny Tim or something; the children are at their dads :)

Ok you may not want to but a friend of mine who's DD is going to be with her dad has chosen to volunteer at our local soup kitchen for the day. She said she will be with people.

I at well look st that next Christmas but this year everywhere is full!

Or slightly more coherently, 'may well look at that next christmas'

Maybe it isn't completely an act of charity - perhaps she hates her family and thinks you'll keep them on their best behaviour or be an ally to get drunk with not that I've been reading too many threads on here about feuding families at christmas A decline card would be a good idea as it makes it seem more final.

She's quite bossy forceful - like a really lovely but stern teacher and I think she did teach once actually.

For some people Christmas is about showing general goodwill to everyone, not charity so much. I know for thanksgivings I've been to friends will try and squeeze as many people as possible into their dinner as more people is more celebration! I can completely understand you'll not be feeling festive this year though, I'm sure your friend could understand that being around someone else's family perhaps won't really help you.

Tell her you have cu.steered at a soup kitchen and boom back at her that you wouldn't "DREAM" of cancelling and letting people down.

Then spend the day drinking champagne and stuffing your face - the homeless will understand!

Please don't respond to an invitation by saying, 'absolutely not' - that is so rude! Decline by all means, but such an emphatic refusal is just

I don't think it's rude Dowager since the woman has obviously been buldozing OP....also depends on tone of voice.

Let's agree to disagree then