to think that an intelligent, married, successful woman

[winkywinkola]

does not ask a married man out for coffee two days after crying on his shoulder about the state of her marriage because she wants to offer support and kindness to the man about his unhappiness in his marriage?

Aibu to think that both parties had absolutely no interest in assisting their current marriages by meeting again?

Obviously an inappropriate friendship was struck up but the married man seems to think there was no intention from either party to generate romance?

winky, is your DH stepping up with your ds1 ?

Intelligent people do stupid things without really thinking it through, especially when they've had too much to drink. When I was a student intern I had to deliver some post to another office and on the way I tripped and tore my dress. I delivered the letter to a junior lawyer I'd never met before and asked if she had a safety pin she could help me out with. In the time it took me to fix my skirt she'd explained that her boyfriend of 5 years had just left her, exactly how she felt about that and why she was having major qualms about her career progression prompted by this wake up call. I was but sometimes you really need to talk to a stranger.

What I'm trying to say is that the work do story is not impossible. Her motives may have been coldly Machiavellian or just blindly mixed up. Let's face it there's enough women on the relationships board who are in those sort of fucked up marriages and it can lead them to behave in irrational and even immoral ways. You'll never know the truth, but frankly it doesn't matter. Only the future of your relationship with your DH and whether you feel he's worthy of your love and trust is actually relevant.

Alright, lay off the OW a bit. Don't forget OP is only giving us one side of the conversation, we've no idea what the H was saying in response/encouragement.

Even if this was her "tactic", all the crying, talk of anal and "I'm so ugly" talk in the world doesn't make a faithful and committed man, who loves and respects his wife, into a cheat. Only he can make himself a cheat.

None of your dh version rings true to me and probably not to you either hence your continuing angst

Absolutely Aye. That's already been pointed out by me. Thanks though.

Did he cut contact before or after you found out?

Of course he could have resisted. He chose not to.
Did he resist though, when he realised it was inappropriate and she was making moves on him?