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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think NHS direct shouldn't scare you about social services?

28 replies

Dinobab · 14/12/2015 16:00

DS woke up from his nap shaking and I membered that he had found a lighter in the sofa whilsy i was in the loo before his nap, (I know that's bad, it must have came out of someknes pocket when they sat down)
I got paranoid and thought he might have somehow got some liquid out (I have anxiety) so I phoned the NHS direct number and they said they report things like this to social services and we should take him to a and e.

Anyway long story short it turns out he had tonsillitis and that is why he was shaking.

the nurse said no they don't call social services about accidents that aren't suspicious but they do inform health visitor everytime a childs in a and e.it was obvious to her that he was fine etc and that is only been out of the room for a minute.
I know I made a mistake but its not like I just leave lighters all around the house.
Health visitor called and everything's fine but I had a week of panicking about it and surely if it was a case that needed social services involved telling people on the phone is a bad idea.

It's put me off calling now if he hurts himself and really worried me.

OP posts:
AndNowItsSeven · 14/12/2015 16:03

No don't be put off, you know now that SS are only informed when there are serious concerns a child has been deliberately hurt or neglected .

EvaBING · 14/12/2015 16:09

It's a bollox. DB (paediatrician) told me to stop bringing dd to A&E as a baby (single mum with anxiety!), or I'd have them down on me like a tonne of bricks! One incident where I thought she looked dazed (she had just woken up and was looking at me with my big worried head on me calling her name; second incident where she managed to rock in her car seat thing on the floor (prior to not being allowed to leave them in these) and rock the blooming thing so much that she tipped backwards and hit her head of the skirting board corner).
I said that surely a proper Mum would err on the side of caution and bring a child to hospital if concerned, but he said that apparently even ones who have physically hurt their children bring them in!
Personally, I'd have thought that if you hurt your child, you'd cover it up, but apparently not!

TaliZorah · 14/12/2015 16:09

YANBU that would put me off too.

MrsJayy · 14/12/2015 16:10

Its just the same as A &E contacting a gp when an adult has been admited they dont call SS if there is no need have you seen anybody about your anxiety sounds tough please dont be put off calling if your son isnt well

Original poster
Dinobab · 14/12/2015 16:11

It's the way she said it though like it was a threat.
It just seems like such a bad idea, i was already worried about ds (hes 2, BTW) and then I was also worried about getting to hospital and them not letting us leave!
Also, it can't be good for children who are abused or neglected, because it would give the parents a heads up to think of a good story to tell the doctors or they might end up not taking them or something, it just seems like a really pointless thing to say.

OP posts:
eternalopt · 14/12/2015 16:11

I wouldn't worry too much. The way it was explained to me when we had to call them was that once try have told you to go to a&e, they tell you're local a&e to expect you, and it's if you don't turn up that you get reported to SS. So no report of the accident itself, but reported if you fail to follow their advice to get medical attention. If very accident was reported, there wouldn't be enough social workers in the world!

Enjolrass · 14/12/2015 16:12

Tbf, I understand they the staff on the NHS helpline don't have great training.

My friends son does it. It's entirely possible they have been told it will be reported to HV and then possibly on to SS. The whole process and details probably haven't been explained.

Yanbu to be annoyed. Ywbu to never use the service again

eternalopt · 14/12/2015 16:13

"Your local a&e" not "you're local a&e"

Oh the shame Blush

Cutecat78 · 14/12/2015 16:16

If you have nothing to hide and this is a one off incident SC will see it as such - they aren't idiots and are allowed to use sensible judgement.

If you look at any serious case review there will be a failure to communicate between NHS and another agency - this is to protect children it's not a witch hunt.

No LA has enough money to needlessly take kids into care or harass people.

MrsJayy · 14/12/2015 16:17

People who abuse/neglect their children will take them to a hospital too some parents have no clue they are neglecting their kids iyswim as I said if your toddler is ill again dont be put off calling. Maybe the persons tone was a bit official and in your panic took it the wrong way

MrsJayy · 14/12/2015 16:19

And what cutecat said its for a childs protection incidents are logged

MrsJayy · 14/12/2015 16:20

Btw i wasnt meaning you were neglecting your son

PatMullins · 14/12/2015 16:28

I'm with you on this. 10 month old DD fell and hit her head on a laminate floor then fell asleep- a language barrier in triage was reaponsible for us being accused of neglect/abuse by two doctors.

We came away from hospital utterly distraught that they thought we had harmed her, thankfully SS didn't get involved.

unimaginativename13 · 14/12/2015 17:19

I was told at my first HV visit that all trips like that are reported.

She was warning me about leaving the baby on the sofa or bed and if they roll off they do a follow up call. She added it happens to all mums so don't freak out.

I was pleased!! Surely you should think that procedures like this will save children's lives if they are being abused or neglected.

Please don't be put off seeking medical advice for your child that could be dangerous and surely would be neglect if something tragic happened.

MiaowTheCat · 14/12/2015 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thymeout · 14/12/2015 17:43

Damned if they do, damned if they don't.

Surely having them be extra cautious as routine with every child is worth it if abusive parents are flagged before they cause a fatality.

redexpat · 14/12/2015 18:28

I know that anxiety is a bitch, but really, this policy isnt about you. It's about safeguarding kids like Victoria Climbie, and the Wests. Flowers

Original poster
Dinobab · 14/12/2015 18:55

Oh I don't have a problem with the policy, makes sense to inform hv of accidents etc, so they can notice patterns with particular kids, that makes complete sense especially as the hv will know the families so can make a better judgement of the situation, but I don't think they should be threatening social services on the phone when your worried about your kid and they haven't even seen them.
I think it should be for the nurses and doctors at a and e to assess the situation of course, not the people on the phone. She said she was "warning" me that they call social services in "situations like this"

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 14/12/2015 19:36

They maybe should handle it different you are probably right

ToadsforJustice · 14/12/2015 19:49

IMO, NHS Direct are bloody useless as they are staffed by under-trained personnel that merely follow a flow-chart. I wouldn't waste my time talking to them.

missymayhemsmum · 14/12/2015 19:54

Look if you seek medical help for a pre-school child it gets reported to your health visitor, who may drop in, particularly if you have a few a and e visits. If health staff are worried they can refer to SS. Because a child who has lots of accidents indicates that a parent may need support or advice, not necessarily that they are suspecting deliberate injury. Accidents happen to all children, but they are more likely when parents are depressed/ upset/ stressed/ ill, when homes are unsafe/ chaotic, and when children are ill/ having behaviour issues. Actually accidents often happen when a child has moved onto the next stage faster than the parent had realised - the classic baby who can't turn over until they fall off the bed, the toddler who manages to open the front door.

We're lucky, despite the cuts there is a system there to support parents and protect children, paid for through our taxes. That's all.

MontyYouTerribleCunt · 14/12/2015 19:55

Was about to say the same as eternal - could it have maybe been that they meant they would call SS if you didn't take your son to a&e? That's what a friend of mine was told.

Windingstreamswithoutends · 14/12/2015 19:56

NHS Direct gave me totally nonsensical advice last time I phoned them. And spent about 40 mins doing so. There was literally no conclusion at the end of it about what I should do!

Cutecat78 · 14/12/2015 20:08

Not sure why Social Care are a "threat". Childrens Services are actually there to protect children and help parents.

CiritheLionessofCintra · 14/12/2015 21:12

Back in my DM's day social workers were feared and seen as negative by most. My mother had been told by her mother that their only purpose was to take children away and so that fear passed onto my DM. To put it bluntly ignorance breeds ignorance. But in this day and age there is still fear be it from experience or word of mouth some people still think the worst if SS are involved.

OP, YANBU to feel the way you do. Flowers