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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to help this little girl?

22 replies

FlowersAndShit · 14/12/2015 13:49

Mum and I were out shopping, went to the toilet and there was a mother with her little girls there. As I was washing my hands, the little girl (about 5/6) was struggling to reach the soap dispenser (her mum was still in the toilet) so I instinctively picked her up under the arms so she could reach the soap. Then I realised maybe I shouldn't have done that. WIBU to help her? My mum was also there.

OP posts:
SumThucker · 14/12/2015 13:52

I wouldn't have minded personally, but you probably should have waited for her mum to come out.

Lj8893 · 14/12/2015 13:52

I think it's a bit of a non-issue really.

gamerchick · 14/12/2015 13:54

I do the same.

At an ex job I had a little boy come up to me fresh out of the toilets wanting me to pull his trousers up and what not. I pulled them up but stopped myself doing the zip and button and took him to find his nanna. It is instinctive, especially if you have littlies of your own.

OddSocksHighHeels · 14/12/2015 14:32

I don't see why it would be an issue. I'd have asked the girl though first, in case she didn't want you to lift her.

VestalVirgin · 14/12/2015 14:45

I don't see why it would be an issue. I'd have asked the girl though first, in case she didn't want you to lift her.

This. Always ask first. Otherwise I don't see an issue.

timelytess · 14/12/2015 14:47

Don't pick up other people's children. On MN, its not an issue. In RL, it is.

FairyFluffbum · 14/12/2015 14:49

Hmm I can see why you did it but I would be slightly uncomfortable if I saw you pick up my child. I wouldn't make an issue out of it and I would say thank you for helping but I still wouldn't like it

TheBunnyOfDoom · 14/12/2015 14:49

I've never had it be an issue before, either. So long as you ask the child, what's the issue? I help kids at work who want to look at things on the counter but are too short. No parent has ever complained and every single one has said thank you for not ignoring their child.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 14/12/2015 14:58

I don't think that's true at all Tess.

Leelu6 · 14/12/2015 15:03

I probably would have done the same, under the reasoning that it takes a village to raise a child. I probably would have asked the girl first though.

Bounced · 14/12/2015 15:06

I'd ask first. And probably put soap on my hand and pass it to her, if she could reach the sink / taps but just not the soap.

I wish they'd design public toilets better - I still have to lift my (admittedly fairly small for her age) 7yo sometimes so she can reach the taps, and it's a pain as it means she can't use those toilets independently.

EvaBING · 14/12/2015 15:08

I too would have asked the girl first - 'will I help you?' Mummy would have shit a brick fairly quickly and been out in a second! haha.

God - isn't it a sad state of affairs that you can't just help a little one out.

CheesyWeez · 14/12/2015 15:12

Like Bounced, I have squirted soap onto my own hand before and then transferred it to their little hands!

Janeymoo50 · 14/12/2015 15:18

Don't pick up other people's children. On MN, its not an issue. In RL, it is.

Personally it seems the other way round on MN most of the time - "don't touch or help my child, I would go ape, how dare someeone talk to my princess etc etc etc"

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 14/12/2015 15:25

I'd have probably done it too. There is a lot less of the "don't touch my child" stuff over here though.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 14/12/2015 15:27

I wouldn't have, but my 7yo dd struggles massively with people touching her, she has anxiety and ADHD and that would have resulted in a huge meltdown so I'm probably more cautious than some.

Original poster
FlowersAndShit · 14/12/2015 15:33

Thanks for the replies. I did it without thinking really but probably wouldn't do it again because of the potential issues.

OP posts:
FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 14/12/2015 15:35

I wouldn't have helped unless she had indicated she wanting helping I don't think.

Thurlow · 14/12/2015 15:49

I wouldn't have minded at all if someone had helped my DC - but on the flip side, if that had been me I would have asked if I could pass her some soap or help her up, rather than just randomly lifting her up.

MontyYouTerribleCunt · 14/12/2015 15:51

I probably wouldn't have done it. Only because I would have hated this as a child. Not a big issue though. Wouldn't worry too much.

Kelsoooo · 14/12/2015 15:51

This place is like a parallel universe sometimes.

Why did it even cross your mind that its not okay? Im forver helping kids out with things, and I don't like kids. But I'm always the one they come running to at softplays/parties etc.

MrsJayy · 14/12/2015 16:01

I probably would have done the soap on hand thing but honestly its fine I am always cautious of lifting children up but the girl didnt mind

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