to be upset about waiting even though I understand why?

[happybus28]

Basically me and DH decided in about July that we wanted to start TTC when we got back off honeymoon in October. We want children so much and have really been looking forward to us starting a family.

Stupidly we got a bit carried away with it all and didn't really consider the financial implications of me being on Mat leave (I only get statutory mat pay). Bit of misunderstanding between the 2 of us as he thought I would get more and as a result after 1st month off the pill we did the math and realised just how screwed we would be financially if I get pregnant any time within the next 6 months.

All our savings went on paying for the wedding so we have no savings at all to fall back on/use to top up mat pay. I also would only get statutory sick pay if I needed any time off due to illness with pregnancy etc. Unfortunately I work for a small family run independent business so get the minimum of everything!!

As a result of a very tearful (me) conversation we have decided to postpone TTC for at least 6 months so we can build up some more savings and then hopefully I'll have a chance of having a decent length mat leave without money being quite as tight. I know we are doing the right thing and the last thing I want is to put added pressure/strain on our relationship by us having financial difficulties but I feel devastated that something I was looking forward to so much and so desperately want now can't happen for at least another 6 months. A positive is that a couple of things we pay out monthly are due to end in April (credit card and sofas) so we will be about £200 a month better off from then which can be saved so there is some light at the end of the tunnel.

I suppose I feel a bit unreasonable for feeling so gutted about something that I know is the right decision and annoyed that we didn't realise this before getting swept away with it all. I've felt so down in the past few days since we discussed it I can't seem to snap myself out of it. Thanks for reading if you've got this far :)

You could spend six months getting both of you into the best possible physical condition, which might help with conception, and also the demand of the lo!

You could practice TTC as your hobby

I think waiting ttc will work well for you. We are in exactly the same position. I really want to be able to stay home for a bit and at the moment finances are so tight. In the summer I conceived the first month trying - we weren't expecting me to conceive so quickly because we'd been told i would have problems. I was supposed to be five months pregnant at my wedding so we got caught short, I guess

We started TTC thinking it wouldn't happen straight away. We had £8k in debt so 8 months to TTC then I would be working 9 months of my pregnancy.

We fell pregnant in month 1 and I tell you now, it sure makes you focus! We then had my pregnancy to be debt free.

I ended up going on mat leave for medical reasons at 30 weeks (something we didn't plan) I was due all my annual leave at 34 weeks and mat leave at 38 weeks.

The 4 weeks difference meant my pay decreased this month not in January but we just had to cut back on Xmas (DS is only 8 weeks old so he doesn't care!)

Are you entitled to tax credits while on mat leave?

Good luck with your journey! X

Thank you all for your messages :) it helps to hear other people's experiences! I'm feeling much better and more positive today. I want us to be in the strongest position to grow our family so that's what I'm focussing on achieving! We have opened a savings account which is purely for 'baby/maternity' money and I had a unexpected windfall of £50 yesterday so that's gone straight in there!!

Good for you happybus.

happy have you heard of ynab? It's a budgeting app. We're using that to get ourselves sorted and it's pretty amazing so far! It's really helping us focus our minds