to think if I'm in floods of tears every Sun night it's probably time to look for a new job?

[redlorryyellowlolly]

For the last 6 weeks, maybe more, I've been in tears every Sunday without exception. I've not consciously thought it was work related, but the 'actual' reasons are not things I'd normally get upset about.

I have hated work before. Once in a previous job I loathed it so much I considered throwing myself down the stairs to break a leg and get a few weeks off. I didn't do it in the end (too scared) but I thought about it a lot.

The place I work is awful. I constantly feel I'm treated like shit - I'm really quite senior yet this morning as I arrived at 9.01 I heard 2 members of staff laughing 'haha lets mark Red in the late book'.

And yes there is a late book, unbelievably.

I have so much to do at home, loads to do at work, yet no interest in it. I wasted hours yesterday crying over an argument I'd had with my DC when I think actually what was upsetting me was coming back to this nonsense today. I feel overwhelmed by everything at the moment.

Try to make some changes - no matter how small - as these will help your overall attitude and feelings about work. I have been stuck in jobs I hate and the cycle of dread, helplessness and impotence really grind you down.

Letting go of the rage is hard but stopping yourself always seeing the negative in the situation does help to draw you out of the pits of despair. I don't want to alarm you but you might take a while to get another job so trying to make the best of this one while you are stuck with it might be your best option.

For me that was drawing back from the negative work environment and not engaging in the botching and moaning, often this actually meant avoiding certain people completely during non work time to the extent of not even making a cup of tea at the same time. I also made task lists and made sure I was doing my work, it's easy to fall into a trap of hating everything you have to do so not really doing it. Reframing crappy comments was helpful as well - not minimising bullying or bad behaviour but assuming that any jibes were as a result of the speakers attitude not my behaviour helped me not react.

You need to make sure your mental fortitude is as high as you can make it, dealing with potential rejection while you apply for a new job is going to be hard if you are feeling low and worn down by work.

Good luck!

Yanbu. You need to make some changes.

I've got to stay where I am for another year or so (need to change mortgage next year) and while I do well at work I hate every minute I'm there, really dead atmosphere.

This happened to me - hated work as the office manager was having an affair with the boss and came in when she wanted (hair and nail appointments etc). Treated us all like shit and obviously got away with it - ended up being signed off for a month - got another job though.

I barely speak to anyone at work, I don't particularly like any of my colleagues and find a few of them actively irritating. Most days I try to avoid conversation, I just can't be bothered. I've always been really chatty in previous jobs, not now.

My mental fortitude is pretty low. How do I bolster that, genuinely I have no idea.

I feel like I need a break from it all. That'll have to wait til Jan as I only have 1 days holiday left this year (and am in between Xmas and New Year...lucky me!)

I know how you are feeling as I was in this same situation a couple of years ago, would literally have to stop myself from turning the car round on the way to work. Leaving was the best decision I ever made although I did manage to hang on until I had something else lined up. I found that applying for other positions helped me feel like I could stick it out a bit longer. Good luck whatever you decide.

Have been trawling the job sites tonight...not much out there. And what there is, most of the roles are very junior. I wouldn't mind a more junior role (if the pay was ok) but I don't think I'd be considered at my level. Still, I've sent off my CV, just have to wait and see if I get any response from the agencies involved.

There's so little out there (a total of 5 jobs I could apply for) that I really can't hand in my notice yet, more's the pity. And back to work in 9 hours!

I keep thinking whether being signed off for a bit would help? My GP surgery are pretty arsey so I doubt I'd get a sick note anyway (still remember going in a few years ago absolutely shattered as I had some horrible virus, couldn't sleep for days due to ear pain/coughing til my chest hurt/wheezing, had lost my voice and GP said I should gargle salt water )

Once you have significant experience and seniority in a profession, there are fewer jobs advertised but the jobs are still there - it's just that they often get filled through other means. "What colour is your parachute?" talks of how to generate your own possibilities rather than waiting for someone else to generate one which happens to be right for you.

Is there a particular variety of solicitor work you specialise in? Are there businesses you could approach with a proposal of how you could do what they need cheaper/quicker/more effectively than their current setup? Are there businesses you deal with which have caused you or others exasperation because of something they never do well - how could you help turn their business around by getting that done right?

Do go and get yourself signed off for a bit if you think it would help. It might give you a breathing space while you can think about what you would like to do.

Senior roles are rarely advertised now I think as more often than not someone is about to be encouraged to "explore other opportunities" so advertising their role is quite rightly deemed to be constructive dismissal.

Is your Linked In profile up to date? It's worth spending the dead time in the office at Christmas updating it, get lots of key words in there and check out other profiles for snappy language.

Most cold recruitment is being done via it. I can't remember the last time I interviewed someone for a job that had actually applied for it or thought about moving until they were called by a recruitment agent who'd checked them out first on LinkedIn.
The other thing is that I notice my stats shoot up over Christmas. It's a dead time in the recruitment market so they are all clearly at work researching possible candidates for the New Year.
Make sure you switch off the notifications function while you update your profile. Otherwise all your contacts [incl current employer if you have "linked" with them will see all your activity.

Ha! I, too, thought you must be a teacher. Definitely you should leave your job. I stayed until mine broke me completely. Admittedly, there were other factors, but over twenty years in a brutal job was the main problem.

First job out of Uni was like this - found myself getting up at the last possible minute to get to work. Worried I'd picked the wrong sector.

Had lots of people telling me to stay where I was and it was what work was like .

Actually by time I left I'd got round the guy blocking my training for being female and got moved from a project that made no sense as stuff it was connecting to wasn't there but team doing that wouldn't admit it to one that everyone saw my input on and I got loads of praise for. I got moved I found out later as other group leader tried to get me moved to their team. Left on a bit of a high - I think having a plan helped me cope and possibly made it easier to navigate the place.

My team leader was a bullying arse hole and upper management complete uncaring dicks - minute late they jumped on you even if it was trains but then expected drop of the hat unpaid overtime - completely unconcerned if that meant you missing transport home.

Figured I needed 12 months minium to move - so waited it out and looked round and then started applying just before 12 months. Got a fab job and a massive pay increase.

Did take a while to get over the impact the bullying and doubts in my abilities first job generated. So glad I didn't listen to all the people saying stay put.

I wasn't as senior as you obviously - but I took an industry magazine which had adverts for few specialist recruitment firms in my sector and it was through them I got most interviews and the final job rather than adverts I was seeing and applying for. This was a few years ago though.

YANBU OP. Nobody should feel that awful about their job.
I had been really unhappy at work (bullying management. We had a late book and had to sign in and out too, and we were once even bollocked for taking our lunch 1 minute too early ) when I found I was pregnant. I stuck it out for the mat pay, but realised more and more I really didn't want to be there, which was then further strengthened by things that happened whilst on mat leave. My mum died just before I was due back, and to say said management were unsympathetic would be an understatement. It was awful, and I was signed off from work for a few months. In the end my DstepF sat me down to ask if I really needed to stay working there (hint: I didn't). I can't thank him enough, I felt such a wave of relief when I posted off my resignation. I'm lucky that my sector has plenty of work, and I was easily able to return to self-employed work. I now have lovely clients who really couldn't care less if my timings are out by a minute or two, as they appreciate the work I do for them and are happy with quality of the output
I know work is thin in your sector, but that doesn't mean you can't keep looking. If you took a more junior role would it really take that long to get promoted back to your current level? If it was so bad I was in tears every Sunday, I'd be ok with a 'demotion' and a bit of a pay cut.

OP I had a similar experience in 2012. I had a manager who was an incredible micro-manager and I was on edge the whole time I worked for her, but particularly from Jan 2012 onwards. Every Sunday I felt terrible and dreaded going into work on a Monday morning. It all came to a head in mid March. I was able to leave with a settlement, and took a bit of time out before starting a proper job the following January. I am also a solicitor! I realised that I could live on less money.

So I would (a) either look for a job and leave on your own terms, or (b) engineer a situation where they have to pay you off generously. You are well qualified and life is too short to be so miserable when there are almost certainly alternatives. Spend some time on your CV, think about where your current skill-set could take you, it might be something a bit different, and consider if you can live on less money.

Oh and keep a diary of all the bullying. You are doing that already aren't you? I made attendance notes of every altercation with my boss and emailed them to myself.

'I keep thinking whether being signed off for a bit would help? '

I don't think it will really help because it will just feel worse when you have to go back. Time to leave. Something will turn up that is not as bad as what you have now.

Good that you have sent the CVs off. Start hammering CVs out, that will change you mood entirely because you will feel free as if you have already left.

Life is too short to feel like a priosner, break out and look for something new. That will change your whole mood.

Good luck

Thanks for all the advice.

Was in at 09.02 today, as waiting for the lift (our building has 2 lifts for about 300 people!) for 5 mins....I was being marked in the late book as I walked in. So tempted to tell them to fuck off and stick their poxy job. This feels like constructive dismissal.

I sat in a meeting yesterday where various brown nosing colleagues were praised to the rafters, nothing positive was said to me. They all 'work from home', I don't, have loads of time off for compassionate reasons etc, never offered to me, one gets to leave early for childcare reasons despite his wife being a SAHM. Oh and gets paid £15-20k more than me despite having less than half my experience. But being great at sucking up to management and coming out with lots of bullshit rather than actually knowing how to run a case.

This really is a shitty place to work. I need to talk to agencies, however I have meetings during lunch so can't do it then. And phone calls in the office...I'm already no doubt in the phone use book for being on mine now typing this post!

New year, new job.

They have a 'phone use' book too? Fuck. I've never understood how companies can employ people in a senior role (with presumably a salary to match) and then have so little trust in them to manage their own time and complete their work without micromanagement control. A 16yo school leaver on minimum wage, sure, I can see why you might need to keep a close eye on skiving, but if you think someone can't be trusted then surely you don't employ them in a role with responsibility! They whole 'book of shame' thing is appalling IMO. If you have a problem with an individual, then you deal specifically with that individual. The books are lazy management.
As PPs have said, make sure you are keeping a log of EVERYTHING. Are you in a union?

Can you request a meeting with management? Have a calm and factual discussion of all the points you raise above? Would this perhaps improve the situation in the short term?

You mention brown nosing colleagues, are you quiet and slow to speak up about your own efforts? Would an unsolicited report to your line manager and above outlining all the things you have been doing recently be something you would consider? Cold use this as leverage for a pay rise. Also, it's good to get these sort of things documented just in case you do go for Co structure dismissal - if you can demonstrate X but they refuse to give you Y you are in a stronger position.

Late books, phone use books - they sound like they're treating employees like overgrown children rather than adults.

Most places I've worked at have logged times in / out the building, either as a physical book or electronically, so it's easy for management to check if they suspect a particular employee is in the habit of coming in late or leaving early - but these sign in systems have applied to everyone, regardless of how early or late they're in, so no stigma involved. The concept of a special book for late people feels very strange to me.

And yes, make sure you log all the bullying.

Also, if home working is common then a precedent has been set - perhaps working from home might be a possibility while you are job hunting? Again, if it is common in the office and you request it but are refused you have another example of unfair treatment. I'd keep formally asking for things that colleagues are getting and keeping a detailed log of every request and response - make sure you formalise every meeting and conversation by sending minutes or an email summary for your own records.

I experience the isolation more often than not.
On both Monday and Tuesday I can quite honestly say that no one spoke to me all day, over 8 hours with no conversation.
This morning someone was not sure how to do something so asked for my assistance, it's the longest work conversation I've had in days!
It is truly depressing!

I'm glad it's not just me seeing a lack of opportunities for professionals at the moment.

Over the last few months I've looked and thought deeply about this and have come to the conclusion that I am no longer cut out for the big company, corporate culture any more. It's changed, for the worse and it's not for me.
So this narrows down my search even more as I think I would now be more suited to working for a small family type of manufacturing business.

Anyway, back to my solitude...have a good day

Do you like doing the actual legal stuff, if you could set aside the awful atmosphere, would you still want to be doing law - just somewhere else? If so get into the agencies and see what's out there. Law is a very stressful job anyway and having a difficult unsupportive management and colleagues makes it unbearable. If you know that you can do all the fee earning, do good work etc. then you just need to find the right place for you even if you take a step back down the ladder for a short while.

Get yourself signed off by the GP until January (don't be fobbed off) and sort out your cv asap. Get a more junior job and cut your cloth if necessary.