for the cat to be the thing that makes me flip about Christmas! (sort of light hearted)

13 replies

TheExMotherInLaw · 13/12/2015 22:05

We have a 4 bedroom house, smallest is now my sewing junk room, so no space for a bed. away in a manger I sleep in front bedroom, dh in back, where it is darker and quieter, (plus we both have health problems, so sleep better apart) and a naice spare bedroom.

Last Christmas DD, partner and cat came for 2 nights, so I insisted they went in back room, as DS stayed for 6 nights, so he was in spare, so dh in with me for just 2 nights The back bedroom is also more cat-proof - no carpeting or shelves of ornaments, soft toys etc.
So, this year, ds again coming for 6 nights, but dd and partner coming for 4, so she wants to stay in naicer room, so I say ok.
Now she says the cat has to come too! (they house share, so usually someone there to feed the cat) I'm allergic to cats, so insist it stays in the room - indoor cat anyway, and say that they, as cat owners, must ensure that doors to other bedrooms are kept closed, and it is kept out of the lounge. I'll be on piriton the whole time anyway, but if the cat gets onto the sofa, etc, I could be reacting for weeks! She thinks I'm overreacting, but she hasn't seen me in full reaction.
If she'd been upfront about the cat initially, they'd have been banished to dh's room again. It'll also cause a lot of multiple bedding changes, as ds and his dp are staying here next weekend, obviously in proper spare room. I don't think I can get away with reneging on my agreement, but AIBU for feeling conned?

OP posts:

goodnightdarthvader1 · 13/12/2015 22:07

Er, there's no need for the cat to come too. I say this as a very soppy cat owner. Tell her to get a 6 day feeder.

shutupandshop · 13/12/2015 22:12

The cat will be happier at home

Madeyemoodysmum · 13/12/2015 22:12

Goodnight. You can't really get a feeder if its an indoor cat. Who will empty the litter tray. Just tell your dd she will have to use the cat friendly room or a Cattery.

hefzi · 13/12/2015 22:42

I am clearly the shittest cat owner ever, having previously left various permutations of indoor cats home alone for up to four days (all survived, just for reference, with no ill effects!) That said, you're allergic, and it's your home: she can take the cat proof room and lump it, or pay out for a neighbour's kid, cattery or alternative solution.

gamerchick · 13/12/2015 22:45

Why bring the cat? There's no way it'll be happy with being dragged away from its territory and shoved in a room. Get her told man!

AlisonWunderland · 13/12/2015 22:46

Your house. Your allergies. Your rules.
Please them in the cat proof room as before

AlisonWunderland · 13/12/2015 22:46

Put them, not please them!

TheoriginalLEM · 13/12/2015 22:48

my dp will often react if i have been around cats. so yanbu. your dd us being a madam.

lilyb84 · 13/12/2015 22:48

I'm also a soppy cat owner. My sister is severely allergic as was my mum's ex-partner and I wouldn't subject anyone to that misery - I don't get why some cat owners don't 'get' how unpleasant allergies are! It's your house and your rules - either she gets someone to look after the cat (we manage to find people to feed - and change litter for - our two indoor cats) or she stays in the room you want her to.

ShebaShimmyShake · 13/12/2015 22:58

Six days is too long to leave the cat alone with a feeder, especially if it's an indoor cat. They need to book a cattery, or get a neighbour to pop in, or a pet sitter, if they can't bring the cat to you. The cat really can't stay in just one room for six days.

Original poster

TheExMotherInLaw · 13/12/2015 23:39

They'll be here for 4 days. DS for 6. I don't mind it coming downstairs with them, I suppose, as long as it stays off my chair, really. I just have a horror of it sleeping on my bed, or getting into my sewing room, or onto my coat. It's a timid thing - I think someone was cruel to it several years ago. Wouldn't it be more cruel to leave it in a flat on its own for 4 days than to bring it here, and insist it is in their room most of the time? It would be the object of much doting from DS, too. (How did I raise 2 cat lovers?) No way she'd let it go to a cattery - she did so once, and he reacted very badly.
I just feel pissed off that she got the agreement from me that she could have the nicer room - then sprang the cat on me - so to speak! I suppose I could roll the carpet up and put it in the other bedroom - it's a Chinese one (carpet, not cat!). We'd have to keep it out of my study, too, or it would scare the life out of the gecko.

OP posts:

WhereYouLeftIt · 14/12/2015 00:17

"I just feel pissed off that she got the agreement from me that she could have the nicer room - then sprang the cat on me "
You agreed she and DP could have the nicer room. You did not agree she DP and cat could. Put them in the room that works best for you. And if she complains, complain right back to her that you don't appreciate her attempt to manipulate you. She brings the cat, she's in the back room.

OutToGetYou · 14/12/2015 00:41

Well, she could just cone for two nights. The cat would be fine on its own for two nights.

Just tell her if the cat's coming it's the back room. You've already adjusted your sleeping arrangements, she's behaving rudely asking for a particular room.

Flip