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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask my colleague to not wear so much perfume

77 replies

DyslexicScientist · 11/12/2015 15:07

Its such a difficult thing to say something about, but it gives me a headache and affects my allergies. (-And it also smells like cat piss - wish I knew how to do strike through!-)

Can I really ask someone to do this? Or should I ask via email? It could be pretty embarrassing for both of us.

OP posts:

imgoingdowntown · 11/12/2015 20:03

My office is not scent free and I spent months sitting next to a girl who worked her way through 100ml bottle of Chanel Chance every month. I used to taste it in my lunch and it pervaded everything. Eventually I had a word with my
Manager and asked her to have a word. It worked

ChinaSorrows · 11/12/2015 21:20

3-5 isn't light usage, that's the max anyone should ever use. I personally am a 1-2 spray girl when I use spray but, I usually opt for oil

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 11/12/2015 21:27

Oh sorry, I misunderstood, I thought you meant that was what most people do. 3-5 squirts would be a drenching to me.

Ohorgodssake · 11/12/2015 21:31

I feel for you Op. Nothing worse than heavy perfume that hits you at the back of your throat and then gives you migraine. I was always taught to spray perfume in front of you and then walk through the mist.

MissTwister · 11/12/2015 21:33

Perfume gives me a massive headache and strangely makes me really 'angry' in a way I can't explain!

However a girl at my work raised the issue and everyone thought she was mad...

Original poster

DyslexicScientist · 12/12/2015 11:39

Thanks everyone for the sympathy, glad to know its not just me that has issues with this. I think I should work in asthma uk!

I'm going to speak to management. After all its up to them to manage people and they can make a call on it. It is affecting my asthma tbh. Wish me luck

Glad to hear other people got it sorted

OP posts:

tappitytaptap · 12/12/2015 11:48

I would much rather smell perfume than BO - find much more of the latter in offices than the former. I actually find much more the opposite problem - not enough people wear scent to disguise the less desirable smells...

rookiemere · 12/12/2015 11:52

If it's impacting your asthma OP then you have a perfect right to raise it.

There's a huge difference between a small squirt of the stuff before you leave the house in the morning and drenching yourself repeatedly with it during the day. Oh and don't get me started on the person in our office who applies hairspray from her desk - she seems to have forgotten it's actually 2015 not 1988 and she isn't Alexa Carrington from Dynasty.

I do the former - light spray before getting dressed, but if I knew someone had a medical issue with it then I'd happily desist.

Indantherene · 13/12/2015 14:42

We've had this problem with a new colleague who liberally reapplies strong perfume 3 times a day. In our office the procedure is for your Line manager to speak to their LM. I was told not to speak to her directly.

We have a no spray policy at work but she assured us it wasn't a spray. Hardly the point when she is stinking out an entire room (and it is foul)

KathyCantDoInteriors · 13/12/2015 15:36

We have been asked not to spray air freshener in the loos, which is fine if the person before you 'opens the window' after they've been for a poo.

whirlybird42 · 13/12/2015 21:17

We had a lady at work who practically bathed in Charlie. It turned my stomach. I was so happy when she left.

Everyone else wears perfume but I always think the office smells lovely - it all blends well.

PlaymobilPirate · 13/12/2015 21:30

I don't get why you can't just have a quiet word with her/ Involving management is ridiculous in my honest opinion - why don't people communicate properly any more??

ilovesooty · 13/12/2015 22:05

The OP would find speaking to her "embarrassing" apparently. Goodness knows why.

kaitlinktm · 13/12/2015 22:11

Someone at my exercise class always sprays herself liberally with some foul, cheap body spray. It used to catch me at the back of my throat and start me wheezing even before I'd done any exercise. I used to very pointedly take my spray but couldn't bring myself to say anything (it was only once a week though).

One of the worst things about teaching teenagers was after PE when the whole classroom stank of Lynx. It's not a shower in a can FFS! I used to tell them it set off my asthma, which just ensured that they did it more. Gotta love adolescents.

SistersOfPercy · 13/12/2015 22:48

My work environment is mostly scent free as I work with SEN kids, many of whom have smell sensitivity. Most of us tend to have a quick spray of deodorant but no perfume.

Suits me, like others the stench of poison gives me a whacking headache.

DrCoconut · 13/12/2015 23:13

Perfumes give me awful migraines. I can't use them and don't like to be near others who have. NU at all to want to avoid them.

Notenjoyinglife · 14/12/2015 01:28

I work with someone who gets really worked up about sprays anywhere in the workplace as it sets off her drama lama tendencies asthma. At home she lives in a total pit - literally years of dust and hair on every surface / carpet.

That said I agree if it bothers you best to tell her kindly / straight rather than let it become a bigger issue.

nooka · 14/12/2015 01:57

I'm sensitive to scents but I don't have asthma and live with two cats and a dog so plenty of dust in my house. Strong scents make me feel very sick and sometimes give me bad headaches. When dh used to like using Pledge I'd have to leave the house for several hours.

I'm living in Canada now and several offices at the university where I live are scent-free. It's organised through health and safety and is a voluntary thing, but seems fairly effective. Some of our international students were very heavy cologne users and the sign does seem to be a non contentious way to reduce use without causing upset.

I can't see any UK resources, so this is a link to some Canadian Occupational Health and Safety resources on scents, some of it might be helpful for the OP.

AntiHop · 14/12/2015 09:22

I had a similar problem. Perfume gives me a terrible headache. I shared a woman who wore a lot. We agreed on a compromise that she left the room to put it on. Unfortunately it didn't help! But she was a temp member of staff so I decided to put up with it.

Original poster

DyslexicScientist · 14/12/2015 09:34

I'm so so grateful for the useful replies on here, especially to the links on other sites. I don't think I'm being unreasonable to approach the subject gently to make my life better, it does seem like it isn't such a rare obscure condition. Although looks like the uk is behind the times on this. Hopefully that will change in the future

OP posts:

WhoKn0wsWhereTheMistletoes · 14/12/2015 09:34

No asthma here either, it's the headaches it causes that are the problem. Air fresheners can be really bad too, I go to an exercise class in a village hall where they have recently installed an industrial size scent squirter which is giving me headaches but the hall committee won't remove it.

sleeplessinmybedroom · 14/12/2015 09:42

I rarely wear perfume and if I do its a tiny squirt from far away pointed downwards. All aerosols, plug in air freshners, those reed diffuser things and most scented candles give me a whacking migraine and I struggle to breath properly. It's awful in work with a the young ones spraying themselves in body spray all the time and squirting air freshener in the toilet with no ventilation.

My Dp stayed over once when he didn't know the extent of it. I went to the bathroom and he thought it would be cute to spray my pillow with a fuck ton of his aftershave so I could smell him when I went to sleep. I tried to play it down but it was awful, I couldn't breath and my head was banging. I ended up having to get my Ds's pillow and sleeping on that but it was all on the bed. I had a migraine and then he realised how bad it actually was. Now he's banned from spraying in the bedroom.

LittleCandle · 14/12/2015 09:50

I have a colleague who has just returned from mat leave and her perfume is one that used to give me instant migraines. The migraines are currently under control thank God but I can feel the headache trying to start. Unfortunately, working in retail, there are lots of people come into the shop wearing very 'heady' perfumes and I am constantly bombarded with them. I would just mention it to your colleague; I'm sure she'll understand.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 14/12/2015 10:12

I would be really pissed off if someone involved management rather than speak to me - at least have the decency to speak to the poor woman. If someone spoke to me and said my perfume was making them ill I would a) be mortified and b) tone it down (or probably stop wearing it altogether as I only use two squirts a day). If I was sent an email I would be more likely to increase the squirts!

JeanneDeMontbaston · 14/12/2015 10:18

'Only' two squirts a day? You mean you reapply it, or you over-apply first off?

I would talk to someone, but it's not particularly rude or 'indecent' to talk to the management, is it? After all, if could potentially be not one person but several - present and future - so it is surely better to make management aware this is an allergen and that some people may struggle with it?

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