To all teachers out there

[nochocolatevanillaicecream]

What would the school policy be about a grandmother talking to a school about a child without the parents knowledge or authority? Should the school comply or wait for the parent?

Many thanks for the encouragement. I will ring the school tomorrow

How horrible for your dd that that information was shared, you must complain.

Totally unprofessional. Definitely take it up with the school.

I know it must feel really hard for you OP but he needs to be made aware of what he's done wrong he really does.

It sounds bad enough in your case the information he's given out I'd hate to think what damage he could cause if a mother needed to keep a child's father away from they're child and they're school(I used to work in schools and within child protective services)I've been involved with a couple of familys in the past that needed that kind of security put in place.Only once did I witness a parent finding out information they shouldn't have(not the schools fault)and it became very scary very quickly.

For your familys sake and any future familys that he could put in harms way because he's shared information he shouldn't have it really needs to be addressed.

I'm sorry your having such an awful time because of your mum,I hope she backs off and things settle down for you and your family.x

I'd be livid and think you should get onto the school. School staff should be well versed on confidentiality.

When I was a child information given to the wrong adult (one of my parents rather than my grandparents who looked after me) could have been dangerous.

If your DD likes him that's great, but he has a responsibility to keep her safe. Staff should err on the side of caution if they aren't sure. I've had numerous members of staff at DS's school say "Can I call you back in 5 minutes?" while they double check that as I'm technically his step-mother I'm allowed all the input/information.

If your dd really likes the worker concerned, isn't it better to speak to him first and only escalate it if he doesn't immediately realise how he has massively cocked up?

From your last update, I would certainly take it further.

Clarify his point of view with him first, tell him that he should not have shared with anyone who did not have parental responsibility, tell him why. Tell him you will be taking it further and that it WILL cause problems at home for you.

Then contact the school immediately. The Student Welfare Officer, Head of Year and the form tutor should be told, so that they can both speak to the youth worker and look out for your DD whilst she is in school.

Does your DD realise this information was shared with her grandmother and who shared it?

I work in FE and am responsible for training in Data Protection Act - this is against all the rules/guidelines and you really should take it up with the school so that they can prevent it happening to someone else

And he will know he has broken safeguarding rules, and your daughter's trust. For whatever reason he chose to go against all of his training. No matter how manipulative your (d)m, he has all the rules, regulations and training behind him too simply say nothing - especially in a phone conversation.

That he chose to do so suggests he has made a judgement call and decided that all of his training can be ignored. His choice and now he really does need to be shown just how wrong he was. He may have done so before and been lucky, the person he spoke to/about have not felt undermined. But your DDs position is one he is employed and trained to support.

In short, he really should have known better and no amount of contemporising will change that. At the least he needs to be re-trained and clearly warned of the repercussions of his poor decision making /hubris.

Contemporising??? extemporising

My apologies.

Not saying it would make it right, but what if a teenager gave permission to share information with grandma?

Then he would have that noted and when asked will be able to evidence it.