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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think he's taken an overdose?

117 replies

worriedddddddddddd · 08/12/2015 20:46

My boyfriend is refusing to go to the hospital.
He's got a bad toothache (abscess, been receiving treatment for last 3 weeks)
Today he's been in so much pain he's taken 20+ (won't tell me how many) paracetamol/codeine.
Has a really bad stomach ache.
I'm not with him right now. What do I do?

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 08/12/2015 23:22

I understand, no73, but somebody refusing to go to hospital when they might need life saving help does need an ambulance. It might be their own stupidity and stubbornness which is at fault, but it still needs one.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 08/12/2015 23:23

Well my sister almost died (but died later after this event) when ambulance failed to turn up.

Wasn't that there weren't any ambulances, was just that someone (unqualified) decided to reclassify the call to non emergency. Heart failure and lung collapse just knocked off he list, just like that, without even calling back to say they had decided to leave her to die. Apparently they were installing a 'new computer system' so there were no working IT fail safes to stop them doing this.

My parents took her in the car 40 minutes to a hospital, dad driving, my mother in the back doing CPR. They wouldn't even come help when my mother ran screaming into A&E, told her to get in the queue, my parents had to carry her in between them (stopping CPR to do so), and then thank fuck a doctor walking past noticed.

So I get a bit edgy when I hear the bashing of anyone who dares even mention the word ambulance in an emergency situation.

Be sensible, but call one, and hope you have someone there to advocate for you if you're too ill.

hollinhurst84 · 08/12/2015 23:23

But the ambulance crew can't force him. If he has capacity to understand, they can't drag him in

Indole · 08/12/2015 23:23

OK, thanks. I didn't know something like asthma would be a priority over an overdose. I'd have assumed it was the other way round.

hollinhurst84 · 08/12/2015 23:25

Priority will always be not breathing
Then unconscious, difficult breathing, uncontrollable haemorrhage etc

111 have access to nurses and paramedics who can access poison control, they can then advise on best treatment and also arrange ambulances on a non emergency basis - say within the hour etc or arrange OOH doctors

BertieBotts · 08/12/2015 23:47

I understand that. But for a loved one who is unable to persuade somebody to get to hospital, the presence of an actual medical person can help and also they can administer basic medical care and it can just be the push somebody needs. Sometimes it won't help but if someone you love is in trouble you do everything you can.

I agree 111 is another good option. A non emergency ambulance would probably be best in those situations.

hollinhurst84 · 08/12/2015 23:50

999 will triage too so doesn't always follow ambulance will be sent following triage

RB68 · 08/12/2015 23:55

The other reason to call an ambulance is that they can start treatment straightaway rather than waiting till reaching a&E and getting in the queue. With paracetamol you go into liver and or renal failure - pretty serious stuff with long term damage if you recover, It is also rapid. I would call him and threaten t call the ambulance if he doesn't go in himself. Or is there someone closer in distance to him that could go round and encourage attendance asap

GlitteryFluff · 08/12/2015 23:57

Hope he's ok OP Thanks

IamtheZombie · 09/12/2015 00:02

Zombie has Stage IV breast cancer. She has an emergency oncology phone number to phone if she, e.g., is running a temperature of 37.5C or higher. She's had to ring it twice. Both times she was given no choice other than go to hospital by ambulance. She did say both times that she could easily drive herself the 23 miles to the hospital but was told in absolutely unequivocal terms that the ambulance was her only option.

As Zombie obviously wasn't going to die within minutes or even hours, she can only assume that some posters on this thread would think this was also a misuse of emergency medical transport.

PhilPhilConnors · 09/12/2015 00:09

Zombie, my mil had the same system, one night her temp was up, they rang the ward who sent an ambulance.
The trip took nearly an hour and the paramedics told mil and FIL off for the entire journey for calling them out Hmm
They had no choice. FIL wanted to drive her, but was told it was too risky, she needed to be in hospital ASAP.

hollinhurst84 · 09/12/2015 00:21

Not at all zombie. Completely different situation and that's one where the hospital book it via us, it's not a member of the public 999 call, and the hospital request the timescale they need

JoelyB · 09/12/2015 00:21

Lordy am I the only person who would kick him in the tooth and then shove him in the car forcibly?

kali110 · 09/12/2015 00:59

Bloody hell i'm scared that haemorrhaging is far down the list, i take blood thinners, i'd bleed even quicker.

I've seen the wait for amulances. I visited a friend in her town and when we had a coffee someone collapsed outside.
Over an hour later that person was still lying on the floor.
The hospital was only a few minutes away.
I felt so bad for the poor person.

Original poster
worriedddddddddddd · 09/12/2015 01:01

He's okay. Been to hospital, wasn't an overdose. Because it's was over 24 hours. And he's a huge guy, 6'4 and well built.
Been given morphine now.

OP posts:
Original poster
worriedddddddddddd · 09/12/2015 01:02

Should say at hospital, not been

OP posts:
Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 09/12/2015 01:07

Thank God for that. How are his poor teeth. I guess the morphine has helped him though. Do you what if God stood in front of me now and said. Ilive, you can have 3 wishes. One of them would be never to get toothache again. I've screamed with it before now. It's horrendous.

ChipsandGuac · 09/12/2015 01:07

Glad he's going! Also, if your abscess is so painful that you need that kind of painkiller, it's worth getting emergency treatment for that too.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 09/12/2015 01:07

So are tgey keeping him in over night.

hollinhurst84 · 09/12/2015 01:29

kali - uncontrollable haemorrhage isn't far down but it's not an exhaustive list, depends where blood is from, and yes important to say you are on blood thinners

BlueSmarties76 · 09/12/2015 01:36

As it was over 24 hours the amount he took MIGHT have been less than a doctor could prescribe in a hospital anyway.

Potatoface2 · 09/12/2015 01:40

armchair medics do make me laugh

GrinAndTonic · 09/12/2015 01:55

I just wish they would put a warning label on paracetamol boxes.
Not just the dosage amount but something along the lines of "a large overdose may kill you or you may die slowly in pain while you turn yellow and your liver disintegrates and you end up on the transplant list and most likely die five years later anway".
I hate panadol OD's.

Gruntfuttock · 09/12/2015 01:56

I'm glad he's OK, OP and I hope the morphine means he will be able to get some sleep.

BlueSmarties76 · 09/12/2015 04:53

GrinAndTonic
Yeah, but if they were being honest they'd have to say that childbirth could be worse than liver failure! (I've had both!).