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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be worried and would love some reassurance

21 replies

purplehazed · 08/12/2015 18:04

It's scary what's happening in the Middle East. All the fighting, the Russians involved. I'm just frightened that's it's going to go out of control. I'm frightened to watch the news. Will it come all right in the end? It's making me so anxious. I've just read some dramatic headlines on the Daily express web site. Scared me stupid. Please calm me down.

OP posts:
PresidentUnderwood · 08/12/2015 18:07

Stop reading & watching the news.

ExtraBlessings · 08/12/2015 18:08

I'm worried too OP. Try to ignore silly journalism though. I don't know what to say.

Arfarfanarf · 08/12/2015 18:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 08/12/2015 18:08

You need to stop reading papers if that's how it affects you.

Just stick to the BBC news website or something.

Either way there's no point in stressing about something you have zero control over.

liz70 · 08/12/2015 18:13

If you lived through the 1980s then you'd be forgiven for living in constant fear that the USSR was going to drop a nuclear bomb on us any day. It didn't happen.

I know it's horrible, but it's outwith your control, so fretting constantly and pointlessly is a waste of energy. Can't say anything more than that.

wednesdaysocks · 08/12/2015 18:19

I read the Daily mail earlier (yeah, I know) and the article about the Bulgarian woman who could predict the future. According to her visions, Europe will not exist beyond a barren wasteland by the end of next year- my anxiety is through the roof at the moment. Serves me right for being woo and reading the Daily Fail

SummerNights1986 · 08/12/2015 18:27

Wednesday - Remember 21/12/12? The end of the Mayan calendar, and the predictions that it would be the apocalypse and the end of the World on that date. It was all over the papers and news and everywhere I went people were talking about it.

I was bloody terrified. It really got to me. I spent the whole of that day feeling sick to my stomach and I was like a nervous wreck by the end of it.

Since then, i'm much more chilled out about stuff. Yes, the current happenings are worrying but don't let prophecies freak you out. Think of the Mayan one, which was a huge deal at the time - we're all still here so far.

purplehazed · 08/12/2015 18:38

Yes I remember the Mayan prophecy, that really freaked me out. I do try to not read the papers or watch the news, but sometimes a headline will come up while I'm on the iPad and i think I read it hoping it's not as bad as it sounds. Once I've read it the damage is done so to speak. I find it hard to concentrate on anything else then.

OP posts:
Duckstar · 08/12/2015 18:52

Some terrible things have happened recently, but we actually live in the safest time in human history. Less people die in conflict then at any time. Crime is down. Life expectancy is up.

Its normal to worry a bit though. We have 24/7 news and comment, and it tends to be the worst stories we hear (and sometimes good news), but stories along the lines of "everything is going ok" wouldn't be particularly popular!

My DM remembers telling my DGranny that she was not having children as the World was a terrible place (threat of nuclear war hanging over head, AIDS crisis (my DM remembers newspapers in the 80s that said there wouldn't be enough hospital beds in the UK to cope with all the people who would get disease) and my DGranny telling her in the nicest possible way to get a grip - she lived through WWII where there were actual bombs, or a time when there was no antibiotics and it was normal for children to die in infancy, or pre-vaccination when every summer you would worry if your child would get polio playing in water. Fortunately, for me, DM, heeded her advice.

Normal to worry a bit, if however you are finding your anxiety is intrusive or taking over your life/preventing you doing things then do see your GP.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 08/12/2015 18:56

It is worrying. The only way not to worry is to bury your head in the sand and not watch or read the news. There is a lot to be said for doing that, as there is fuck all we can do about anything.

ThisisMrsNicolaHicklin · 08/12/2015 20:53

There's no denying it is all a bit shit but newspapers like the Daily Express and the Daily Mail make their money by pedalling outrageous sensationalism, you'd probably get a
more accurate picture of the
situation in Syria by reading the
Beano.
Also between David Icke, Nostradamos, Y2K and the Mayans you've already survived the end of the world multiple times over the last 20 odd years.
I would say things aren't great and feel worse because we can't see how it will end but I have a lot of faith in the great mass of the human race to sort stuff out properly.

Titsywoo · 08/12/2015 20:59

Sorry you are feeling anxious Wednesdaysocks but that was a really unhelpful thing to add to a thread where someone wants reassurance!

OP I'm sure it will all work out in one way or another :) It is true that we live at the one of the safest times ever. Seeing everything on the news, internet, papers etc means it is in our faces all the time and makes it more scary. Russia etc do not want a world war. ISIS might but they are not big enough to start anything like one.

purplehazed · 08/12/2015 21:27

I'm trying to feel reassured and I appreciate some of these comments. I wish I didn't feel like this. DH says what's the point in worrying, but I can't help it. I'm trying not to. I want to look forward to Christmas. Just wish everything would calm down.

OP posts:
Duckstar · 09/12/2015 08:17

Purple, I speak as someone who has just been diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder (after being a bit of a "worrier" all my life). I am not diagnosing you, but if you are finding your anxiety is overwhelming (and by that I mean affecting your day to day life, intruding in your thoughts), please do consider speaking to your GP. Some anxiety is normal - fight or flight, but sometimes it gets out of control, and you may be able to control with self-help, but you may also need some intervention - therapy/medication.

My DH and DM have both said to me "don't worry so much". Their brains are just differently wired to ours. They can just switch off and not think about things - I wish I could do the same.

I saw my GP 3 weeks ago and I literally at that point had "the fear" constantly. I've started medication which has helped and also had 1 session of counselling. I thought there was no point in counselling as I thought it was for people who had actual problems, like they could not go in a shop for fear and counselling would help with that. I can go in a shop my problems were worrying about the uncertain. Things which may happen etc and no one could help me. Actually, worrying about the uncertain, really common and there is CBT which has been proven to massively help.

Please don't suffer in silence. Do consider speaking to your GP if you are finding your anxiety overwhelming.

purplehazed · 09/12/2015 11:48

Duckstar I am thinking of going to the doctors. I don't worry unduly about everything under the sun, this is my only major worry. Is your fear the same as mine or just things in general?

OP posts:
Duckstar · 09/12/2015 14:53

I have waves of a general foreboding no particular cause. I would have said 3 weeks ago my fear all was all to do with dying/death, but my psychologist has made me keep a worry journal (twice a day 5 mins) and I would say I actually worry about a lot of hypotheticals. I dont worry about everything. I imagine if you met me you would think I was a really matter of fact/logical person. I have a professional/stressful job which I am good at, but at the moment I'm having a blip which I am working through. You have nothing to lose by seeing GP. Mine was amazing.

AntiHop · 09/12/2015 15:25

I think it is a good idea to go to see your GP as your anxiety is clearly affecting your life.

The problem with papers like the Express is they like to exaggerate and scare as that's how they sell papers. Just remember they want you to be scared so you read more of their stories and generate advertising venue. They are very irresponsible.

Gottagetmoving · 09/12/2015 15:30

I have gone through periods of worrying like this at various periods of my life. One was after I had my first child. It's anxiety that makes you focus on these things, the same as people who worry that every symptom they have means they have a terminal illness. You need to check with a gp whether you are depressed and get treatment.
Episodes like this can and do pass but you may need some help.
I can't believe just how much I drove myself silly worrying about wars and death. I am still aware of these things but they don't dominate my thoughts any more.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 09/12/2015 15:37

Newspapers make their money from sensationalising things to the extent that you buy the paper/read the story online. If you're shocked enough to talk about it, or share it, they make more money.

There's no financial reward for telling honest, balanced articles. "We spoke to a fortune teller and she said in a year everything will be the same" won't get half the attention that "We spoke to a fortune teller and she said Europe will be obliterated".

Although I believe the woman in question has been dead for a while anyway and made the predictions several years ago. And let's face it, the fortune tellers they wheeled out at various other points (to find Madeleine McCann, for example) didn't do much good.

You do need to see a doctor to get some medical help getting this under control, and whilst you're in that process, avoid the news. Your brain is unable to rationally question it at the moment so you're going to get into a big flap about everything.

purplehazed · 09/12/2015 16:51

I really am silly, when I read about the Bulgarian woman's predictions I went into panic mode. I haven't quite calmed down from that story, and then there were loads of other equally startling story's, such as Putins doomsday plane and he was preparing for nuclear war. Is it all lies then?
I am going to go to the doctors, hope he'll give me something to relax me.

OP posts:
Duckstar · 10/12/2015 09:38

You aren't silly. I remember reading a story about drug use in teenagers and then worrying would my eldest become a drug user. Anxiety means your brain focuses on these issues and can't let go (even when your rational side is saying to calm down/ignore).

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