To have a 'possibly dead' pile for Christmas cards

[swarskicat]

My DH has a very large family (his DM one of 10 and DF one of 14), who we rarely see.

I have been doing my Christmas cards today and helpful friend tidied my 2 piles into one pile. She was horrified when I said that they needed to stay separate as one was my 'possibly dead' pile. Thing is I know at least 2 of his uncles have died this year and want to make sure I have got the right ones before I send cards….

YABU and should have checked before writing the cards

Haha! At least you're organised sbout it!

Sibu to mess with your system

I wouldn't be upset to receive cards for a dead person but I think you are being sensible to check in case someone would be.

My mother used to send more than 50 Christmas cards when I was a child and they gradually dwindled as her friends died.

In the last years of her life she'd send them to just seven friends - two of them were probably dead, one was a few years younger than her and I know was hanging on because she used to see him quite a bit and four who were definitely alive because they were middle-aged and near neighbours that she saw quite a lot.

It was sad but she accepted it. What else could she do? She continued making friends in old age, more than I'll ever have, but only one special neighbour made it onto her Christmas list

She died two years ago last week. When I went to her house soon after I found a card from the one who's hanging on. He was too poorly to come to her funeral but he and his daughter (my best childhood friend) sent a beautiful wreath.

I'm glad you've posted this because you've reminded me to send my friend's dad a card (if he's died he doesn't live there any more and if she found out I'm sure she wouldn't be upset) and one to the special neighbour who I'm sure misses my mum.

I shouldn't laugh at this but... A possibly dead pile. Omg.

Possibly dead pile - shouldn't laugh, but .

Could never happen to me, I only write Christmas cards in retaliation if somebody sends me one so unless they die at Christmas I know they are around.

Did I misread it? Are you a heartless cow?

I still think you're very sensible. I send expensive cards and how much are stamps these days?

I once asked my nana what "pd, Dd, meant in her address book.

Possibly dead.
Definitely dead

I am afraid I tend to think of Christmas cards as the annual census of my distant family

Am definitely going to adopt the PD and DD annotation in my address book. Currently cross names out, which feels very wrong....but have a morbid fear of sending a card to a recently deceased relative.

Omg OP surely if you aren't close enough to someone to know if they are dead or not, you aren't close enough to be sending Christmas cards?