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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Myself and yourself instead of me and you

135 replies

WanderingNotLost · 07/12/2015 11:22

This is something that just pisses me off to no end.

People saying myself and yourself instead of me and you.

Example: We need someone do speak on Tuesday, Steve has suggested yourself.

We have previously sold photocopiers to yourself.

No no no no no!!

Why do people do this? Is it just ignorance? I've found sales people are particularly guilty of this heinous crime. It just grates on me, I always want to correct them. AIBU?

See also: the misplaced apostrophe.

OP posts:
Dipankrispaneven · 07/12/2015 12:43

Where I come from saying 'my sister and I went into town' would be considered a 'posh' way of speaking, regardless of your education. It would be 'myself and my sister'

But why? Would you say "Myself went into town"?

MontyYouTerribleCunt · 07/12/2015 12:58

Where I come from saying 'my sister and I went into town' would be considered a 'posh' way of speaking, regardless of your education. It would be 'myself and my sister'

But why? Would you say "Myself went into town"?

Who knows? It's a colloquialism presumably. Why do turns of phrase other than the 'Queen's English' exist at all?

Daisysbear · 07/12/2015 13:02

Did you not read the full thread Dip? It's a direct translation of the Irish expression.

ovenchips · 07/12/2015 13:05

To answer a PP's 'why?' it's dialect, that's why. I love dialects and am rather proud of using mine (NE England) and wouldn't be critical of anyone for using dialect words at all. But I don't think it's what the OP's peeve is and it certainly isn't mine.

It tends to happen in a semi-formal environment. You are normally the 'customer' and the person is trying to impress you with their professionalism. "Madam, if yourself could just sign here and here, and myself will get you the keys and documents."

iklboo · 07/12/2015 13:09

DS's teacher corrected his story to read 'myself and my friends were sitting by the wall'.

RiverTam · 07/12/2015 13:13

What????? Fucking hell. I don't give a damn what anyone's bloody dialect is, it should be taught correctly at school! My red pen would be out with that gem (I'm a proofreader).

Dipankrispaneven · 07/12/2015 13:17

Ikiboo's experience is an illustration of why it matters. We're now in an age when bad spelling and grammar will have a direct effect on exam results, which in turn may prejudice people's life chances. Therefore it's all the more important for adults, particularly parents and teachers, to make a bit of an effort to set a good example.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 07/12/2015 13:19

DS's teacher corrected his story to read 'myself and my friends were sitting by the wall'.

Good grief! What did s/he correct it from? Tell me he hadn't written 'My friends and I were sitting by the wall' and was told it was wrong!

Shock
WhatamessIgotinto · 07/12/2015 13:21

I fucking hate it. It sounds wrong and it IS wrong.

KakiFruit · 07/12/2015 13:24

People at work "correct" my edits back to the incorrect version. Some of them are really attached to their mistakes, especially inappropriate capital letters (it's not a Project, ffs) and using 'circa' when they mean 'approximately'.

flowery · 07/12/2015 13:28

DH and I (myself?!) were checking out of a hotel on Saturday morning and the bloke behind the counter kept doing it. "Was everything ok for yourselves during your stay with us?" "Shall I staple your receipts together for yourself sir?"

Arrrgghh!

iklboo · 07/12/2015 13:30

A colleague kept writing The Police (where no capital was required) and changing it back when it was corrected. I ended up asking her why she thought Sting & his chums would be interested in the matter.

whois · 07/12/2015 13:30

Ugh some people at work so this and it's always the kind of people who think they are sounding more intelligent and more formal. It's really annoying.

UterusUterusGhali · 07/12/2015 13:31

It's different in Ireland. "Yerman" is a pronoun in Ireland. Totally normal.

My stbexh uses "yourself" and "myself" when he's talking about our divorce. I think he thinks it makes him sound wordy and learned. It doesn't. It makes him sound like a cunt.
Last time he did it I wrote back telling him I was now divorcing him for overuse of the reflexive pronoun.
He didn't get it. Xmas Hmm

whois · 07/12/2015 13:32

circa' when they mean 'approximately'

This as well! You can only use circa in reference to a date!

Also random capitalisation - you can only capitalise think like 'Project' if you have defined 'Project' in the glossary. Otherwise it's project.

ComposHatComesBack · 07/12/2015 13:32

I really don't know how people make such a balls-up of I/me. It is easy to get right.

Just think what you'd write or say if the other person wasn't there.

I went to the cinema (John and I went to the cinema)

The blue car belongs to me (The blue car belongs to Ann and me)

RiverTam · 07/12/2015 13:41

I have just seen it in the book I'm reading. American author which may account for it. However, it's a fact that we are getting young editorial staff who despite having a degree in English have never been taught grammar. My colleague had a very long, ludicrous argument with such a person about capitalisation which was just excruciating.

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 07/12/2015 13:45

Circa doesn't have to be used only with a date. By definition, it generally is, but there is no rule saying that it can only be used like that.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 07/12/2015 13:45

People don't think rationally about it, though.

I believe it goes like this:

'Me and John were ....'

'No! You should say 'John and I'.'

'Oh. OK. John and I were....'

But this gets generalised to 'Me and John is always wrong. John and me must be wrong too. So I mustn't say 'for John and me'. I'll get told off again. The right way is to say 'for John and I'. '

ComposHatComesBack · 07/12/2015 13:49

Fair point gasp!

KikiShack · 07/12/2015 14:02

This boils my bile too.

My understanding, and please correct me if I'm wrong, is that myself/yourself etc should be used reflexively - ie if the thing is being done to the person being talked about:

I wash myself = fine as I'm doing it to myself
I wash yourself = not fine because I am doing it to YOU.
You wash yourself = fine again.

If there is a problem please ask for myself = wrong as the person is telling you to ask for them- two different people

If there is a problem I suggest you have a good hard look at yourself in the mirror and then have a word with yourself = fine as they're telling YOU to talk to YOU

I find it easier to think about it in reference to French- if you say je ME verb then it is 'myself' as you're doing it to yourself.
braces oneself for abuse from referring to French grammar to make a point

Note in the above I'm bracing myself as I am doing it to me. Or one is doing it to one's own self.

ducks and runs

KikiShack · 07/12/2015 14:04

Me and I also pissed me right off- gasp has got it correct in that you use whatever is correct if the other person was removed from the phrase. Simple rule.

ComposHatComesBack · 07/12/2015 15:46

On an tangentially related note, some language pedants get absolutely hopping mad at the expression 'station-stop' on train announcements, as in 'the next station-stop is Bristol Temple Meads'.

I'd argue that station-stop is correct, the train may well stop at a signal and may well pass through a number of stations without stopping.

Nanny0gg · 07/12/2015 15:55

I love the use of myself and yourself when it's dialect. It has a lovely lilt to it.

I detest it when it is used incorrectly when the speaker (or writer) thinks they're being either formal or posh.

They were never taught that way in school so I have no idea where it's come from.

bilbodog · 07/12/2015 16:32

I'll join you on this - drives me mental. I started to notice it about 5 years ago when I worked for the police, all the young officers were saying it - I thought it might have been something to do with how they had been taught to respond in court but since then I have noticed everyone doing it. I regularly shout at the tv!!!!