AIBU to get a teeny bit jaw clenchy at the phrase.....

8 replies

FattyFishwife · 06/12/2015 23:46

passive aggressive/ness

winds me up something chronic. I just cant help it, i see it a lot on a forum im a member of when theres a bit of a row going on, someone will always bring out the 'oooohhh thats a bit passive aggressive isnt it' card. especially if people add a :) (that poor :) gets a lot of bad press for being P/A!) dummies are usually spit, petticoats are flounced and toys chucked out of prams.

what happened to the good old fashioned 'you sarky git'?

does it annoy anyone anyone else, or is there another word/phrase that makes you gnash your teeth?

OP posts:

Senpai · 06/12/2015 23:52

You can't be passive aggressive online, because there's no way to be passive about it.

YesIcan · 07/12/2015 00:10

In a way, I love the term. It sums up so much. 'Passive' being benign, and the true message being 'aggressive' the opposite. I suppose I know people in RL who appear very inclusive and pleasant, but cross them at your peril. I ain't fooled you w*er, but let's all be polite.
The term that's driving me nuts is '100%' but it's because I keep using it!!!
So you say ' I'm pissed that it's raining for 3 days'. I have to hold myself back from saying '100%'. Driving myself nuts. 🤕

PoorFannyRobin · 07/12/2015 00:17

I remember reading that the term passive-aggressive really refers to behavior that is better described as covert-aggressive. In other words, the behavior has an aggressive intent but that intent is hidden.

YesIcan · 07/12/2015 00:37

That makes sense. It is aggressive but with a little veneer, like a smile.
The term doesn't bother me, the behaviour does.

Enjolrass · 07/12/2015 07:15

I quite like the term.

Sums it up. Someone is trying to come across as laid back and as though they are going with the flow, but actually being aggressive

I find it hard to respect people who are PA. if you have something to say either say it or don't, imo.

The phrase doesn't bother me, although 'you sarky got' works just as well.

I do think people think if they put a :) at the end of a sentence, online, that they will have got away with something quite nasty because they put a smile. Usually when they are called out the feign innocence.

It's like using the phrase 'with all due respect ' it's usually followed up with something that has no respect. But they feel no one can have a go because of how they started the sentence.

FinallyHere · 07/12/2015 08:16

Sorry this is going off at a tangent, but i want to take issue with the use of the phrase 'with all due respect'. The point for me is in the 'due'. I'd use it to mean this is exactly how much respect is due, in my opinion.

A nod to acknowledge that respect is normally due, but that in these circumstances the amount is really very little indeed. HTH

Enjolrass · 07/12/2015 09:01

But that's assuming you are right.

'With all due respect, but you are a cunt'

To somebody who hasn't done anything wrong, isn't showing any respect at all. Even though the person doesn't deserve to be disrespected.

SoupDragon · 07/12/2015 09:08

is there another word/phrase that makes you gnash your teeth?

Things like "jaw clenchy"

Flip