I was recently admitted to my local psychiatric hospital for a psychotic depressive episode. (I have bipolar). Overall, I got excellent care. With the exception of the occasion I'm about to describe, the nurses were wonderful. I apologise for the length of this post, but want to include all details.
When I was first admitted, I was put on constant observations due to the level of suicide risk. I was getting 'messages' instructing me to strangle myself (bag straps, clothing). By day 3, my psychotic symptoms had improved, but not resolved completely and I was still deeply sucidal and getting incredibly powerful urges. They took me off constant observations that morning after asking me 'if I can keep myself safe'. I said yes (genuinely thought I could). On reflection, I was still a risk to myself. They had still left me with some items of clothing that could be used as a ligature. I was put on the normal hourly checks.
That evening, I attempted to strangle myself. A nurse walked in on me, but didn't realise what was happening as I was on the floor, on the opposite side of the bed. A few hours later, I went to one of the nurses (night shift) and told her I felt unable to stop myself following the messages, I was very distressed, and said I needed help. She told me to go sit in the TV room. I didn't want to sit there sobbing so I went back to my room.
Ten minutes later, I returned to the nurse and said I needed help. She asked me why I had said I could keep myself safe that morning, but was now telling her something different. I said I didn't know, but I was really struggling now. (Night times are always my worst.) She walked off from me. I returned to my room. By this point, I figured they were not going to help me and seemed to be suggesting I was lying. I returned to her shortly after and said I needed help and asked to see the duty doctor. She threatened me that if I insisted on seeing the doctor 'they will section me'. (I was an informal/voluntary patient. I was asking for help not to leave at all.). She again walked off from me.
I again returned to my room and again started to strangle myself. I was very, very distressed by now. I approached the other nurse (male) who was on duty and again asked for help and to see the duty doc. He said 'you've already been told you can't do that.'
I was desperate by now. I rang my husband, sobbed, explained what had happened. He rang the ward and spoke to the male nurse. This nurse came to my room, asked me why was i behaving that way, and told me to go to bed. I told him I felt unable to keep myself safe. He left me with clothing. I ended up speaking to DH on the phone until I fell asleep (with him still on the phone.)
The next afternoon, I knew those two nurses would be on duty that evening and I again felt that I would deteriorate that night so I spoke to a 'nice' nurse and she immediately came to my room and took everything away that I could use. She highlighted the need to increase obs.
I've been out of hospital 1.5 weeks and thinking about how I was treated that evening. I was clearly distressed and communicating that I needed help, but they did nothing to intervene and ensure my safety. The threat that they would get me detained if I insisted on asking for a doctor seems particularly cruel (or maybe illegal?)
So, WIBU to issue a complaint about the treatment? Should these nurses have behaved differently? I'm caught between feeling this should be highlighted, but I also know that at some point I will be admitted again, and I will have to 'deal' with these nurses again. FWIW, the hospital has been in the news recently for allowing a sucidal man to leave and he subsequently killed himself--the ruling was they should have detained him, but he was assessed by a trainee pdoc who failed to recognise the dangers.