Teenage curfew

33 replies

Sadmother · 05/12/2015 07:07

Having a slight disagreement with OH. What do you think is a reasonable curfew for a 16 year old boy?

OP posts:

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 05/12/2015 08:38

Cannabis?

CoraBeth · 05/12/2015 08:44

My (just turned 17) comes back when he likes.

but he has always kept in touch with me. I don't like it, but I force myself to remain calm.

He does drink, but he doesn't take drugs.

As he goes everywhere by moped (very rural) he is very mindful of being sober.

If you suspect drugs/ or know him to be taking them -then unfortunately a curfew is the least of your worries. I know you *know that, so I send you good luck for sorting things out.

It really is the most tricky time for me.

scarlets · 05/12/2015 08:45

Truancy and drugs are the real problem here. In this case, I would set curfews although in general I think that 16 and 17 year olds don't really need them.

IloveJudgeJudy · 05/12/2015 10:14

Have had 3 16 yo's. Never set a curfew. They needed to tell me what they were doing and how they were getting home. It always worked out. DS1 always had a very fluid and full social life. He quite often just used to say that he was meeting so-and-so and would see what happened. That was fine by me.

I've just read your OP more carefully. I still think no curfew, but maybe a chat re the drugs, but tbh it's his choice. You won't be able to stop him and curfew-setting will probably damage your relationship with him which is very important to preserve. He sounds sensible to me on the whole.

mumeeee · 05/12/2015 10:26

At 16 our DDs told us where they were going and what time they would be back. If something changed and they were going to be later or wanted to stay at a friends they were supposed to let us know.They were not just allowed to hang around with friends until 3am.
OP most teenagers do not drink and take drugs. Yes of course I know that teenagers will try stuff but in my experience that is not most of them.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 05/12/2015 10:29

Judy

How is he being sensible if he's missing so much school .

TheBunnyOfDoom · 05/12/2015 11:37

Most teenagers don't drink regularly and take drugs! I would say most drink at parties/special occasions at this age but not on school nights, and its only the minority that do drugs. Yes, it happens but it only seems common because you don't hear about the ones who come home on time and behave themselves!

I wouldn't be so quick to believe he's at friends houses either. I don't know many parents who would be happy to have their sixteen year old's mates swanning in and out at 3am!

The curfew isn't really the issue here, but I would say 10pm on a school night (unless he's at work or at a one-off concert) but later at weekends as long as arranges it with you first and you know where he is.

BoomBoomsCousin · 05/12/2015 11:46

Unless I've completely misread her the OP hasn't said he drink and takes drugs regularly. She's said that he doesn't because he has to get up for work. And that his friends are at university, so it's not a matter of other 16 year old's parents being happy with him swanning in and out (also she's mentioned that his iPhone supports his claims of where he is).

Just before this becomes some thread where staying up late is automatically associated with delinquency.

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