To think that the media massively hypes up the 'breastfeeding in public' debate and that so much discussion over breastfeeding in public is actually a bad thing?

[missmillimentscardigan]

I've just read this on the BBC website from yesterday:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-34974989

It's about the case of the woman who lied about being asked to leave a Primark shop because she was breastfeeding her baby, and how it may be damaging for the 'pro-breastfeeding in public' debate.

Obviously what that woman did was awful in that it was lying, wasting police time, potentially very damaging for the business and individual employee she accused etc. But I find the idea of a breastfeeding 'movement', that may or may not be damaged by what she did, really unhelpful in terms of actually getting more women to feed in public.

Is it not the case that the vast majority of women just get on with breastfeeding, discreetly and without fuss, wherever they need to? And women are discreet not because it's offensive, but because they don't want to have their entire breast on display. Even the photo on this article is misrepresentative (I feel), as the woman in the photo seems to have most of her breast exposed while feeding, something I never needed to do, nor seen anyone else do, outside of a post-natal ward. And the survey quoted that 49% of people think it's unacceptable to breastfeed on public transport. Who are the people being surveyed? I doubt the majority of people would even be aware of someone breastfeeding on a bus or a train, and why would they care if they did realise? I genuinely do not understand how anyone could have a problem with it.

Obviously there are cases where women are discriminated against for breastfeeding in public and that is unacceptable, but aibu to suggest that these cases are extremely rare and that they always seem to occur when someone is breastfeeding in what seems to me like a bit of a weird place, like the middle of a sports shop or at a swimming pool.

I don't claim to be representative of all breastfeeding mothers of course, but I breastfed my first child in all sorts of places and am currently feeding my second. I have never encountered any negative comments when breastfeeding or been aware of people finding me unacceptable etc. I would definitely give someone a piece of my mind if they did criticise me and I hope that if someone not sure about breastfeeding in public saw me feeding then they might realise it's not a big deal.

Terms like the 'breastapo' and the implication that you need to be some kind of Earth mother (whatever that is) to breastfeed in public are just ridiculous and offensive. Surely the overwhelming majority of breastfeeding women and just getting on with their lives and feeding their child, rather than being part of a 'movement'?

It's just the fact that this article is on the BBC website, as news. So, if you've read all this, AIBU for thinking this 'breastfeeding movement' and articles like this are misrepresentative of actual life and are likely to reduce the number of women who breastfeed, rather than make women feel more comfortable?

Which half Whetherornot? The half population that is presumably the father if the bf babies? Would they rather the babies who are bf scream nonstop whilst out and about until a nice loo is found to bf in incase it offends some delicate little man?

I bf ds for 18 months. Everywhere. I am also huge or nork and ds was a wriggly, nosey little fucker. I used an apron to try and cover up a little. And felt uncomfortable doing so because of the bfing warriors who promote sitting there half undressed with a 5 year old hung off your nipple topping up the bfing course with a happy meal.

Bfing for me was about me and ds. No one else. I didn't particularly want to flash mu boobs at all and sundry because I have spent 30 odd years covering them up. And just because I was bfing didn't make me feel any differently. It didn't stop me bfing. The odd few times I forgot my cover I still bf if necessary but I wasn't as comfortable doing so.

I think that the bfing keyboard warriors make it more uncomfortable for women like me who want to bf in public but chose discretion over exhibitionism. I loved bfing but it was something that was very personal and quite intimate to me and my family.

I don't see the need to be outraged or outrageous.

WhetherOrNot, have you tried not looking when you see something you don't like? I do it all the time and it's very effective.

when out and about, people really notice and if they do they can stop looking at my chest area.

That's EXACTLY the attitude I was talking about Mrs Bartlett - 'MY' right to do what I want now I have 'the law' on my side. You have proved my point.

Ive BF my DS all over the place, with him cradled whilst walking, doctors, the school playing field, shops all over. No one has ever even noticed. Im v v discrete. I know you dont have to be discrete. But I am

Bimandbam, did you actually see a woman feeding a 5 yr old in a MacDonalds by removing her whole top? Does this actually happen? Maybe I'm very unobservant but I've never seen anything like that and I live in an area where breastfeeding rates are much higher than national average.

Culture - why are you assuming it is ME that needs to not look? Nowhere have I mentioned that I don't like it

The same would apply to anyone who doesn't like what they see (assuming it's legal and safe).

I agree with the OP - I fed my first for 13 months, happy to do it wherever needed.

I did use a feeding apron for the first 7 months, it made me feel more confident but if you dare to mention it on a pro breastfeeding thread/with some pro breast feeding friends they spend ages telling you why you should do so.

Again its a personal choice - it made me feel more comfortable so I can't see what is wrong with it.

I never got any negative comments when out and about, and lots of random people smiling, thumbs upping me etc.

The only negative comments I did get was from pro breastfeeders about some of my choices!

How does that prove your point? People really don't notice (earlier typo) And yes it is my right because IT IS THE LAW. Shall I stop voting now as well as you know being a little women I shouldn't have that right either?

I've fed a nigh on 4 yr old over a big Mac, maybe it was me that was spotted eh

Didn't show any flesh though.

I have mixed feelings. Making it a big deal may put some off...mothers worry that people are going to stare because everyone is always telling horror stories about people like whetherornot disagreeing with the legal right for an infant to be fed outside of the home or public toilet. Whereas in my experience, no-one ever batted an eyelid.

I think it is important that the public are aware of the laws surrounding this though, so mothersand anti-BF bigots alike know what their rights are.

The fact that people think it's ok for someone to eject a customer for bf when they wouldn't for giving a bottle (so not because of no baby/child policy etc) is the reason why we need a movement.

On the other hand I can sort of see your point. Some breastfeeding support groups heavily promote the baby wearing/cosleeping/cloth nappying way of parenting. Whilst some of those have an impact on the success of bfing, I think it can put parents off when bfing is seen as part of a larger culture rather than just a way of feeding.

I bf loads in public. No one ever said anything and I don't think anyone even noticed. Just looked like a cuddle.

What I don't understand is people saying that they feel uncomfortable and want the women to stop or leave. Well don't look then? Like when you say a couple getting a bit heavy, just turn your gaze. I think the main issue is some people have a weird thing about breastfeeding for whatever reason.

I agree, culture - I've never seen anyone sitting half undressed while breastfeeding and I don't really understand why anyone would want to do that. Does it actually happen, I wonder?

And bimandbam I agree about wanting to feed discreetly - I used a feeding shawl with dc1 because I didn't want to flash my boob, but I've been doing the vest top down, jumper up thing with dc2 and it's completely fine and probably more discreet than getting out a shawl to feed. You would have to be paying really close attention to get a glimpse of nipple and the baby's head is in the way too.

I find the idea that women want to expose their whole boob and prove a point a bit offensive. The options aren't don't breastfeed in public ever, or breastfeed in public half naked and try and make as many people feel uncomfortable as possible. The politicising of breastfeeding I find really weird. As a pp said, it's not exactly a new thing and it's obviously natural.

I don't understand why anyone would be offended by a baby being fed by his mothers breast (the way nature intended for that mother and baby).

I was at a relatives recently and her grown up son was disgusted when I started breastfeeding discreetly. The same man is a dog breeder and I assume has seen puppies being fed by their mothers. Why is it ok for animals to openly feed their offspring but not okay for humans to do the same?

Why is it ok for animals to openly feed their offspring but not okay for humans to do the same?

because boobs have been sexualized and animals feeding hasn't. Some people can't separate the idea that boobs are there for pleasure and the idea that they are actually there to provide food for our off spring.

I bf for about, oh God, more than five years if I add it all up (lots of DC). The only time I had any real negativity was from someone my own age. Most other people didn't notice, or if they did had either bf themselves, or were close to someone who had. And I fed everywhere - park benches, cafes, at the swimming pool, in the doctor's waiting room, trains, planes and automobiles.

I was amazed to see the stats about the % who think feeding on public transport is unacceptable. I can only conclude that most people who think they give a stuff have no idea what bfing usually looks like, because I don't recall ever getting a single comment.

As for it being a legal right, so it bloody should be.

As for it being a legal right, so it bloody should be.

^^
this.

The reason people are offended is that they think breasts are sexual and not for anything else.
Mine can multi task BF 3 babies for 2 years each.
2 comments- one was a little old lady who ran at me across a café and stroked my BF babies head she was overjoyed that I was feeding in public. " How wonderful my dear "
The second: "My husband is disgusted to see you BF in public"
Reply: Tell him to stop fucking staring at me then

I really, really, really don't get the big deal about breastfeeding. Like, I just cannot get my head around why anyone is even bothered by someone feeding their baby. I felt this way before I had my baby. I feel even more strongly about it now. Of all the things to be offended by when you are out and about - people pushing and shoving you, gangs of teens using foul language - and someone decides to get their knickers in a twist over a baby being breastfed

As far as I'm concerned if you don't like it look away, and legally no one has a leg to stand on anyway being 'offended' because the law is on the side of the breastfeeding mum. So really, go find something else to whine about because anyone being offended hasn't a leg to stand on.

Forgot to add I breastfeed my 10 month old anywhere he is hungry. Including car parks, the zoo, a farm, the Middle of a shopping centre, parks, on a bench, cafes and restaurants and I've never had a comment/nasty look etc. no one even notices tbh and when they have I either get a smile or 'Aww'

I would advise anyone who does get stared at etc to wink !!

....what??

Are none of your friends playing out tonight? Fuck off eh.

I find the idea that women want to expose their whole boob and prove a point a bit offensive.

I'm really not convinced that any women really do this. I've never seen a woman breastfeeding in public who's exposing more boob than necessary.

thehandwoman oh do sod off