To think he should make up the lost money

[Mooey89]

I have a 2.5 year old DS. Exh and I have been split for 2 years due to domestic abuse.

He pays me £150 per month in maintenance, this was done informally as when we calculated it it was about the same and I wanted to avoid a fight.

DSs nursery fees are £950 per month (full time). His parents very very kindly give pay £150 towards this every month.

I have a great relationship with his mum, but he is as abusive to her as he is to me. Earlier this week he escalated in his abusive behaviour to her and they have decided to withdraw their support.

I totally understand this and I know how awfully he has been treating them, but as part of this they have decided no more nursery money.

This means that that portion of the fees are now late, and I need to find £150 before Christmas. I don't have any money left over at the best of times. I can't get any more in tax credits because of my earnings.

I pay the rest of the nursery fees, rent, provide all clothe, food, nappies, all that a toddler needs. I have text ex to say that this is due to his unreasonable behaviour, that his parents have been perfectly happy (it was their idea!) to help financially up until now, I still get on well with them and I am the one who is now going to struggle.

I hate being financially dependent on them but I work my arse off and still don't have money left over, how am I going to cover this?? Why should it be me who has to deal with this because he can't treat his mother with respect??

I like the suggestion of asking if they can, without his knowledge, help by loaning it and you will pay them back when he eother pays you or dc goes to school.

Will it be Sept that your DS gets his free hours? What effect will that have on the monthly childcare bill? Halve it? If it is September you essentially need a 9 month bridging plan, until vouchers and maybe a promotion kick in. Later school and further promotions will help even more.

So; what can you scrimp on for nine months? Time to show them all.

Their plan only works if there is an enforceable obligation on him to pay £300 per month of which they are normally paying half. That isn't the case.

Asking them to make the loan to you is a good idea. It would be better if they could think of a sanction that would actually affect him not you.

If you are on good terms I'd speak to them to let them know the plan hasn't worked and you are at a loss what to do. Surely if they are supportive they will help you find a way so their gc doesn't suffer. Could they have him some if the time to reduce your childcare bill for example.