Speaking to my ddad about a friend who is severely ill. Naturally he is very upset. But, he started to tell me how there will be some 'long dark days ahead' for him and dm in dealing with it. I am very sympathetic, and sad too (I have known the friend all my life too).
The conversation became increasingly bleak with ddad saying 'some days I look at everyone, walking down the street, in the supermarket and think "we're all going to die and one day none of us will be here" '
Now I know he is upset but he gets like this quite often... I have tried suggesting he is depressed and maybe needs to speak to someone, or maybe he is overly preoccupied with dying. He dismisses it and says it's perfectly normal and 'everyone' thinks like this.
I don't think they do! I know some colleagues and friends who have been very pragmatic when loved ones have been ill or passed away. I know others who almost seem unaffected by it all. Nothing wrong with that in my book - we're all different and deal with things in different ways.
But he insists he is fine and that everyone must spend days dwelling on death/dying. Apparently they are lying or pretending to be stoic!
For back ground and not to drip feed, they are well off, healthy themselves, close but small family and few friends. Dm is retired and does very little during the day despite having means and opportunity. I worry that they are either depressed, overly worried about death and with a lot of time on their hands will become increasingly worried.
Aibu in thinkING it's not normal to think this way?