To wonder why I never really "click" with people?

[GlitteryRollers]

Probably a bit of a woe is me post, but I can't help but notice that I hardly ever seem to click with people. Even with people ive known for a while theres always slight awkwardness, probably on my part. I can't remember the last time I felt a strong click with someone where you immediately feel relaxed and at ease in their company. People do seem to like me, but I just don't feel any connection with them.

I feel like I don't belong in most places, apart from with my family. I don't feel like anyone ever really gets me or understand me properly.

Recently I've been wondering if I'm possibly a bit autistic. I've worked with children on the spectrum and Ive noticed I share some of their traits. I hate routine change, struggle with eye contact, am often a bit slow to get when someone is joking with me or not. I may be wrong, but I don't feel like I belong, anywhere.

*to

I could have written your OP! Although I have a very small handful of friends at the moment that I have clicked with, 3 I think. Others, well I just feel awkward and struggle to talk to them. In fake it quite well I think but that means I go on about crap quite a bit. I don't do eye contact at all, unless I am telling the DCs off.

I have done some online aspergers tests. I score quite highly each time. I haven't bothered pursuing it because I think my doctor may be dismissive. But I am pretty convinced I am an aspie. It just fits. I actually had a thread in chat a while ago but it may not be there now.

I scored borderline in two online tests. It would explain a lot actually.

You can do the questionnaire online from the Cambridge Research Institute.

I am borderline Asperger's according to the test but in real life it doesn't actually affect me too much.

We're too quick to label people as being aspie. Maybe it's just that there are several billion people on the earth therefore there are a huge variety of personalities? I can do social chit chat for a bit but get bored after a short time, whereas it is like oxygen for my sister.

It's not a label. It's a medical diagnosis.

Also the OP has said she has quite a few other traits other than being socially awkward.

I score highly on the online tests for autism. My dad doesn't think I need to get a diagnosis though, he thinks everyone is just different and labels don't do you any good? I don't know whether to get a diagnosis. I think I'm on the spectrum but only mild or something. My fear is I work with children so not sure the diagnosis is a good idea?

It's not a label. It's a medical diagnosis

Only if the diagnosis is made by a suitably qualified medical professional and not some stranger on the internet.

Yes. That's what I meant.