To wonder if I've ever really fancied a man?!

[MaybeAnOverthinker]

I am just starting to realise that I don't think I have ever actually fancied a man. Infact, I am. It sure I have ever been a exhalation attracted to a man. Ever. I have always played along 'oh yes isn't eh hot' etc but never felt anything. I can't understand what people at work mean when they appreciate the male form...it just does nothing for me even though I pretend it does.

If you fancy men, can you please describe to me how you know? What do you actually feel?

I am not sure if I am bisexual or just not met the right man.

OK - maybe physically sick is a bit much. I have never felt the need to be close to a woman. I have many gay friends and am not against homosexuality whatsoever, tis just not for me.

Bit like a veggie not wanting to eating meat in any way, shape or form no double entendre meant whatsoever

Men are just so gruff. And hard and muscly. And they smell different. Beards. Shoulders. Arms! Vieny arms and hands. Deep voices.

That feeling in your stomach, just wanting to be nearer to them.

Sometimes I catch myself looking at my DP (who's a man) and just think, cor, but it's more about when we're physically close - not even necessary in a sexual context - and I feel my heart speed up, even though we've been together on and off for over ten years, properly together for five. I often find myself thinking random men are very attractive, and that random women are beautiful/striking/whatever, but with women it's more a "gosh, I wish I had her hair/skin/legs" rather than "ooh, she is hot".

Have you ever felt "the throb" ?

For anyone male or female.

Yes plus the racing heart and actual Jelly legs!

I'm intrigued..what the f is that?

What?

"Throb"?! Am I being really, really thick?

Sexual arousal in your nethers!

Oh God I am thick.

Your life is your own and nobody else's - it's your responsibility too.

There are versions of most religions that are more accepting than others, but if your current denomination is unable to accept same-sex relationships and that's the way you want to live your life, then yes, you may die never having had sex with anyone you really fancy.

Without any help from religion, I managed to have 3 years of a sex life before having sex with anyone I fancied at all. I see why people can do it - having sex with someone you are really attracted to is genuinely earthshaking lifechanging stuff. Quite difficult to deal with.

I disagree it depends on the guy
Some guys are really hot.

They look good with and without clothes on if they take care of themselves, shave, wear aftershave, nice shoes... Problem a lot guys don't feel they have to make the effort and it shows

Honestly the guy I'm interested in is all these things... ok I've not seen him without clothes on but you can tell when someone has a good body and looks after themselves died t smoke or drink

Personally I've always fancied guys like this especially when the polish it off with a well cut suit

Sorry don't smoke or drink

Why all the ? I think you're asking us to tell you that you're not gay but you're stating that you don't feel any sexual attraction towards men and you fancy women. You've answered your own question.

It seems obvious to me that you are attracted to women and not men. And you should do something about it.

Yep, mamapants hit the nail on the head. Completely obvious, but maybe not to you because you don't want to accept it?

I also find it interesting that in your OP you mentioned the possibility of being bisexual but not homosexual. Obviously to be bisexual you would have to fancy men as well as women, so I think homosexual is more likely in your case!

I don't know what religion you are but most religions have a whole spectrum of interpretations and faiths. I'm sure at least I hope that there are people who share your broad religion and also believe that homosexuality is not a sin, and that God loves us all.

Disclaimer: this is all from my point of view and fully accept that people may disagree.

I'm bisexual, and for me, attraction has at least two parts: sexual desire and a crush. Sometimes you get the sexual desire without the crush (like on a one night stand) and sometimes, although more rarely, elements of the crush without the sexual desire (like when you make a new friend that you get obsessed with - although rarely as strong as with a relationship post-teenage years).

For me, sexual desire, when it's strong, is like heat that spreads through my body. I can feel myself clenching 'down there'. I feel acutely aware of my skin; I feel warm; my inhibitions lower. I want to touch and be touched. It's a raw, needy feeling. It's physical as much as mental, although god knows, fantasies can lead to it and it leads to fantasies.

Incidentally, I have always felt that a classification needs to be added for heteroflexible/bicurious women, who would sleep with other women and find them 'pretty and sensual and soft' without ever really feeling any of the above.

A crush, I think, has already been explained as well as I can here. Butterflies, excitement, you would always want a text to be from them before anyone else.

Hope my tuppence helps. And I hope you figure it out soon. There are lots of LGBT friendly therapists in London if you're based near there (a lot listed on pinktherapy). It might be an avenue to consider if you wanted a more in depth chat about your feelings .

I'm completely heterosexual BUT there are very few men I feel attracted to. There is one celeb I can think of that I have a huge crush on - and that's because of his eyes, mainly. Most women I know will ooh and ahh over topless male models - it does nothing for me at all.

Hunky, muscly men in pictures or films do nothing for me at all. I can honestly say it's the personality that attracts me, and that physical attraction then grows if i'm attracted to someone's personality. But I've only ever been attracted to men in that way.

You are homosexual, OP.

If you get those fluttery feelings for women and not men (assuming you are a woman) then you are gay!

Embrace it wme can't all be the same

I've never had 'crushes' and stuff like that... I get where you're coming from. I don't look at people and think "Wow, that person is hot", I never have, and can't really bring myself to... what happens with me is that when I fall in love with someone, through their personality and spending time with them, I just find -them- attractive. I've only had 4 partners long term, but each time I would find attractive what they were. My first boyfriend was tall and quite chubby and light skinned, whereas my second was rather skinny, and very short, and dark skinned. Both times I found them attractive as all I could think about was that I loved them. I'm not sure why this is, it might be asperger's? Or maybe I'm just not fussed on looks because I'm not a looker myself...

I've got a crush on somebody at moment who is not so not hot. But I see him and my stomach flips.

Im bi, have been with both men and women, find both attractive but for different reasons. I think women are more psycially attractive, and i get more turned on when having sex with a women, but feel alot more emotionally connected to men. Im lucky to have found a dh who ive been able to share my experiences with an explore my sexuality.

I do think you get the same awkward fluttery giggly feeling when you fancy someone though. And its alot harder to know if a woman fancys you...id always be scared if i made a move and they would be mortified because there straight abd just being friendly

Thank you for helping me think things through!