To be impatient about the next baby?

[Dorsetmama]

To cut a rather lengthy story short.... It may sound a bit abrupt!

I hsve 4 Ds with my ex. I have been with my partner for almost 3 years. I got pregnant just over a year ago.... But it wasn't meant to be. Partner didn't want a baby then.
Now... He is saying he is ready. But he's making me wait!

His reasons vary but usually come back to me and my mental health problems.
But you see.... I don't believe that MH problems ever vanish completely. Compare me to the traumatised version of myself a year or more ago and you wouldn't think I'm the same girl. So i get that perhaps i will kl improve even more... But its so much pressure in a way. And what if something traumatises me in the meantime?

I also have dysmenorrhoea and PCOS so throw that into the mix and lately it all feels unbearable. Except the more emotive i am about it all im convinced it makes him want to wait even longer.

Ive narrowed it down to sometime after March next year.. Other than that, he is really vague.

Its begun to put me off sex. Every time he pulls out a condom i think 'meh' which is childish!!

I felt so desperate after the abortion... That was cruel enough in some ways.... But this waiting has become a bigger agony. He started talking seriously about babies in May this year.... Back then I was hoping to be pregnant now!

Am i being overly obsessive?

Honestly? Yes. Sorry.

You sound like you need help to deal with the abortion. And wanting to see your health stable for longer is a totally rational reason to wait.

What is your reason for it needing to be now?

I think maybe you need the extra info? This sounds like there is massive context behind it which is probably important. Because his behaviour and reasoning sounds really really bizarre. Honestly what I'm getting from this is either he's being incredibly manipulative and controlling, OR he's seriously worried about you because of the trauma/MH issues you are alluding to. But without knowing more it's impossible to say whether he or you are BU.

You also might want to get the post moved out of AIBU (To Relationships, maybe?) because I don't know that this is the best place given folk have propensity for not always reading the full thread and much gnashing of teeth over dripfeeding (when I guess you are just trying to avoid writing an essay, but I think in this case, the history is totally relevant.)

Ty for the advice I'll get the post moved. I was trying to avoid an essay, yes indeed :) but i think you are right. More info is needed.

Erm... How do i move it?

Report your own post and write a request to be moved in the text box :)

Thanks :)