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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Having to move on the 22nd of Dec and into new house 23rd feeling sorry for myself

26 replies

goodiegoodieyumyum · 03/12/2015 13:49

We are moving to Germany, have been waiting over a week to get the lease on the house, contacted the removal company and they can't move us until the 22nd of December. I am imagining Christmas with a house full of boxes. Plus the children will be off school so I don't know what to do with them when the removalist's are here. I think most of my friends will be off to visit their families.

I will wrap presents now, need to buy some first, dealing with the coming of St Nicholas first and the presents he brings. We will get the keys for the house next week so at least my husband does not have to stay in a hotel any more and can buy a car. Wish it hadn't taken so long to find a house.
Feeling so emotional at the moment, just want to go home and hug my dad whose partner died 10 days ago.

Probably have to wait now until the new Year to find a school as I think we will have to register with the council first. Oh well more time to learn German.

OP posts:
Fatherwishmas · 03/12/2015 14:22

I would delay your move, you don't sound at all ready and quite frankly you sound irresponsible regards your schooling arrangements.

Have you honestly not looked into registration for council/school? Are you in rented or own house? Have you a job to start?

Can you wait until New Year to move? or Feb half term?

Original poster
goodiegoodieyumyum · 03/12/2015 14:48

I find your post very unsupportive, I have asked my husband to ring the school we have found, as far as I know he hasn't, he speaks German I do not.

So I should spend another two months living in another country , make my husband him drive home three hours and then driving back three hours every weekend. Unlike the Uk you have to register with the council when you live in Germany and one thing I am not sure if is if they will allow a child to register with school before you register with the council. We can't register with the council until we move.

Lot's of people move house and then find schools for their children

OP posts:
Seabiscotti · 03/12/2015 14:58

OP moving is stressful at any time, never mind this time of the year.

Chase DH to get the info on school registration. At least then you will know where you stand on that. If you can't do it until you have registered with the council, then you can't do it.

Pack by room and pack by essentials, making sure you write on the box what is inside.
When you move in just unpack what you need to get cosy. If you can store the other boxes in an unused room.

Get your food shop in and any other things you need to tide you over those few days.

Then you relax and enjoy Christmas with DH and DC in your new home.

mumblebumble · 03/12/2015 15:08

How much space is there in the new house? Is there one room that you could designate as "christmassy" and not pile the boxes up in - have cosy throws, the christmas lights, tree, etc etc in there to create some atmosphere?
Good luck, moving is undeniably stressful but it will soon be over Flowers

Original poster
goodiegoodieyumyum · 03/12/2015 15:10

Thank you Sea, luckily the removalist does the packing. I just have to get my Christmas shopping done an hope parcels from overseas from my family arrive in time. They have waited until the last minute to send even though they knew we were on the process if moving.
My son has been off school all week with a terrible cold which has stopped me doing lots I had planned this week. Hopefully he is well tomorrow otherwise he will miss St Nicholas coming to school snd giving presents.

OP posts:
Katedotness1963 · 03/12/2015 15:11

It can be a nightmare finding housing in Germany, but at least you have somewhere now and can look forward.
When we have moved we unpacked the kids rooms first so they had somewhere to go out of the way, then the kitchen, living room and did our room last. Hopefully you have a spare room where you can pile the boxes till you have time to get to then rather than tripping over them in each room.
First stop will probably be your local Rathaus to sort rubbish/recycling pick ups.

This calendar has school/local holidays on it...

www.holidays-info.com/School-Holidays-Germany/2014/school-holidays_2014.html

Good luck with your move!!

Original poster
goodiegoodieyumyum · 03/12/2015 15:13

Mumble yes we have conservatiry do that could be our Christmas room, I think we will go with Danish tradition this year and put the tree up Christmas eve and dance around singing carols, Dh is Danish. I think I have found a restaurant for Christmas lunch, feeling a bit more positive having had time to think about it.

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TheSecondViola · 03/12/2015 15:13

The trick with these things is to focus on the children and make all the strangeness exciting instead of traumatic. If you do it right, the children will remember "the year we had Christmas the day after we moved" Give them pens to draw decorations on moving boxes, have a picnic on the floor when you arrive, make a joke of the difficulties.
Mine still remember "the christmas we had no floor and no gas and nearly froze solid but never ate so much chocolate in our lives".

ChinUpChestOut · 03/12/2015 15:16

Goodness Fatherwishmas OP is under pressure, and under time constraints - she needs some helpful advice that will enable her to cope not make her feel stupid.

OP does your DH have a PA or an HR person that could help with calls to the school or the local department of education? If he's busy with a new job, maybe there is someone he could ask oh-so-nicely to help with that? Will you get a relocation agent to assist your arrival?

You say your removal company is moving you on 22nd December - have they guaranteed your moving in on the 23rd? Are you coming from the UK? It seems a very tight turnaround to pack you up, transport the stuff, and unpack it in 24 hours?

Original poster
goodiegoodieyumyum · 03/12/2015 15:16

Thanks Katedotness

OP posts:
DamnCommandments · 03/12/2015 15:20

Ignore Fatherwishmas! Of course things are different overseas (am in NL). Chances are the kids will miss a week of school, max. Love the idea of decorating the boxes!

Original poster
goodiegoodieyumyum · 03/12/2015 15:37

Chin up we are currently in the Netherlands, they will pack the house on 22nd and then Drive the 3 plus hours depending on traffic to Germany the next day, otherwise we will be sleeping on blow up mattresses.

My husband can take a small amount of things next week when he gets the keys and then I will make sure we have a couple of days clothes packed seperately from the removals. I don't think he has a PA maybe HR can help, but we have gound a school we like it is the closest, plus a kindergarten for our son the kindergarten I am not so worried about.

I can home school my dd until she gets a place it will give her more time to learn German, which she is doing at the moment. I had just hoped we could see the school before the end of term but I dont think that will happen now.

OP posts:
Original poster
goodiegoodieyumyum · 03/12/2015 15:40

I too like the idea of decorating boxes great idea The Second

OP posts:
PurpleHairAndPearls · 03/12/2015 15:50

A new home for Christmas - how exciting! If very hard work

What about something new for the DCs' bedrooms like a blanket or maybe pyjamas? I'm sure your DC will love it, it will probably be magical for them, at least at will distract them and the move will always be linked to Christmas.

We still do the German tradition of some present opening on Christmas Eve - will you do the same?

Oh and fatherwishmas do you work for Ofsted with an attitude like that? Perhaps you're Michael Gove Grin

Op you will be fine - best of luck!

Original poster
goodiegoodieyumyum · 03/12/2015 16:36

Purple we may open some presents Christmas eve it is also a Danish tradition. You did make me laugh with your mention of Ofsted

OP posts:
Original poster
goodiegoodieyumyum · 03/12/2015 16:44

I just remembered the three tiered Christmas cake I am going to make into a ski slope, It is going to be interesting transporting that. Better start getting decorating.

OP posts:
knittingqueen · 03/12/2015 16:50

I moved (just me) a few days before Christmas one year. I was dreading boxes everywhere but it turned out fine and it was nice that the big move was done rather than having Christmas somewhere that no longer felt like home and I was ready to leave.

GraciesMansion · 03/12/2015 16:58

One year we moved on the 14th and I had our dd on the 18th, by cs. It wasn't the most organised Christmas we've ever had but it was memorable! It'll all work out fine but I can understand the stress. I would concentrate on getting the children's rooms sorted out and one living room.

BlueJug · 03/12/2015 17:33

Just quick message of support. I don't envy you - and the next month or so will be hard BUT what a wonderful opportunity for your children. They can become bi-lingual, "Europeans", more independent and open-minded.

Of course you are not being irresponsible re schooling. That is a comment likely to be made by someone who has not lived abroad and therefore thinks that everywhere does things the same way "we" do.

ChinUpChestOut · 03/12/2015 20:24

You know, even though you don't speak German yet, if you have an email address I would be tempted to send an email to the school - apologise for your terrible German, admit you used Google translate and ask if you can register your DD for school. And ask all your other questions, like do they have places, if yes, can they process a registration during school holidays, what should she bring first day, etc. Just go for it - what's the worst that can happen? They ignore your email and you have to wait for either your DH to do it or for you to arrive? Nothing to lose!!

DoreenLethal · 03/12/2015 20:30

Goodie goodie - honestly don't worry about it. I've been a kid that moved from Canada to the UK and the last thing I ever remembered was presents.

The new house is present enough, as long as there is something to open, some food and all of you together just take each day as it comes.

And don't worry about the school; it will all come good. No matter what bah bloody humbug up there says.

Original poster
goodiegoodieyumyum · 04/12/2015 06:40

Thank you all, I feel much better about our moving date now.

OP posts:
travellinglighter · 04/12/2015 06:54

I did it last year on the 19th. From a badly furnished flat into my new unfurnished house. Kids were supposed to be with me on boxing day so had to buy beds, sofas, tables, chairs, curtains and get it all in and set up for a boxing day dinner, Oven broke on christmas day. You have my sympathy.

PresidentUnderwood · 04/12/2015 07:19

You don't say how old your children are, but I agree with PP that making it into an adventure - the Christmas we all stayed in onesies (you and DH included!) or made frozen castle out of boxes (white sheets and blue drawing) or a gruffalo cave (brown blanket!).

A little adversity or change in life helps form new skills and teaches us we can face change with a positive outlook.

have handbag full of sweets and small gifts (fart machines are popular in uk this year) to liven things up. Xxx

Blu · 04/12/2015 07:21

We moved house the week before Christmas, and overseas guests arrived the day after we moved!

Yes it was quite stressful but it felt more overwhelming thinking about it than do in it.

Have all your presents ready and wrapped and packed in a box that you can easily find.
Make sure all boxes are marked with felt tip with the room you want them unloaded in. Packers pack v quickly but you can write on the boxes what is in them and the room.

Don't fret about Christmas surrounded by boxes: it doesn't matter! Pack a box with some decorations , Christmad CDs and anything important to you and label that box .

I guess booking an Internet shop (does that even happen in Germany?) will be impossible at this stage? See if you can get a good delivery to your new address for the day you arrive? Is there a good supermarket v close to your new house? Otherwise stop on the journey and stick up with a couple of days worth of Christmas shopping .

Just make a big list, prioritise, don't try and recreate your 'perfect' Christmas and you will be fine!