Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

DP napping in his work clothes

49 replies

BoringlyRestrictive · 02/12/2015 19:28

In our bed!

He works delivering fruit and veg. He is in and out of warehouses and refrigerators/vans all day. Carrying heavy crates of fruit and veg. He often smells a bit 'stale' by the time he comes home and as he has an early start he insists on napping all fucking evening for an hour or 2 once he gets in.

He usually changes first but today he has just got up and I've noticed he is in full work gear.
AIBU or is that rank? And now I have to strip and remake the bed before I can put kids to bed

OP posts:

hoopityhoopla · 02/12/2015 21:02

"Can he get another job with more humane hours?"

scalliondays · 02/12/2015 21:15

I don't think there's anything wrong with having a snooze under the covers in your clothes as long as they're clean - obviously pongy work clothes aren't reasonable.

Wtfmummy · 02/12/2015 21:19

I'm on his side here. If I was up at 4.30am every day then I'd fancy a nap too. I've also been known to nap in clothes too.....!!!!

goodnessgraciousgoudaoriginal · 02/12/2015 21:22

That's disgusting. I get that with the hours, he needs a nap.

But the nap comes after a lightning quick shower and taking off clothes. That takes 5 minutes. He can wait five minutes before a nap.

Otherwise it's just disgusting. Make him change the sheets each time he does it. I'm sure he will suddenly find the energy to get changed first...

AnyFucker · 02/12/2015 21:26

some right dirty beezers on this thread

MistressDeeCee · 03/12/2015 02:32

Up at 4.30am then snoozing all evening..tired to the point he can't strip off his clothes before jumping in bed?! Not very good for a relationship, what quality time do you have together? Is this job worth it....? Just thinking there has to be a better way to live, and at least you'd get some evenings together and none of the napping in the clothes he's been sweating all day in arguments

MistressDeeCee · 03/12/2015 02:35

Says me whose OH naps like one of those bloody nodding dogs in the back of 70s cars..head going backwards then forwards until he tilts forward so much he jolts himself awake. Only to then repeat the whole saga, with me staring on in morbid fascination . Irritates me to death but at least he doesn't have to wake up at 430am, your man there must be knackered

Friendlystories · 03/12/2015 02:42

Mine naps on one particular end of the sofa which is against a wall, his head lolls to the side and every so often he nuts the wall and wakes himself up. Annoying and amusing in equal measures

Moomazoo · 03/12/2015 02:53

YABVU!!!!! FFS if you have time to consider this you have time to change the bed!!!! If not you will crawl in and appreciate every second in bed !!!

MistressDeeCee · 03/12/2015 03:09

Really, Fern ?

Eyes distance from settee to back wall..

MsMims · 03/12/2015 03:19

YANBU.

Takes 5 mins to strip off and have a quick wash after work.

TaintForTheLikesOfWe · 03/12/2015 03:24

What's the cushion thread?

winchester1 · 03/12/2015 04:03

Could you use a double sheet fold it in half and maybe sew along the bottom so its an open sided sleeping bag and get him to nap in that, in the bed?
Or you do that when you sleep.

Although I get up at 400 most days and just go to bed at an appropriate time which is also an option.

MaisieDotes · 03/12/2015 07:20

taint it's here

Original poster

BoringlyRestrictive · 03/12/2015 07:58

Relationship is dead in the water anyway. I am starting to research about getting out. It's an abusive relationship.

I have lost a lot of perspective on what is or isn't unreasonable. When I should or shouldn't say something. What is or isn't worth causing a major row over (no such thing as a small argument here. Everything has to be blown out of proportion and earth shattering) so that's my reason for asking.
But I genuinely think it's disgusting. Our DS routinely sleeps in the bed with me in the early hours so I don't want DS rolling around in the filth either.

I don't want to sleep in the filth/veg dust/veg stink/sweat stink.

As you enter our front door the master bedroom door is opposite. So it's like 'walk in, kick off shoes, stumble into bed'
He could stay up for a couple hours longer have dinner and go to bed at 7. But instead he will nap and then get up, all groggy and grumpy that the kids have disturbed him with their sounds of playing and then go to bed around 9/10 and then complain of endless tiredness. personally I think he isn't happy unless he's miserable

OP posts:

TaintForTheLikesOfWe · 03/12/2015 08:52

Fanks Maisie I need a laugh!

AnyFucker · 03/12/2015 12:48

That whole situation sounds completely miserable. I am sorry

Allofaflumble · 03/12/2015 12:59

A sleeping bag on top of the bed might help but if you are getting rid, you may not want to bother!

BathshebaDarkstone · 03/12/2015 13:04

DH comes in from work, washes (no running water at his work), changes, makes and eats lunch then crashes out on the sofa for an hour. Sorry, but your DH sounds disgusting (I was looking for a lighter word but I couldn't think of one).

ineedabodytransplant · 03/12/2015 17:23

I'm regularly up at 0430 for a three hour commute, days work, three hour commute home and in by 8pm. I shower as soon as I get in and generally in bed by 10.

There is no way I could relax in clothes I'd been in all that time. I would never be able to sleep.

He's just a dirty fecker.

Preciousxbane · 03/12/2015 17:28

No outside clothes in the bed or even on the bed in my bedroom but I do have a cream bed quilt that is my pride and joy, this makes me a saddo but whatever.

Sorry to hear things are bad.

Drew64 · 03/12/2015 17:36

"He usually changes first but today he has just got up and I've noticed he is in full work gear."

If he usually changes, this is a one off. Why on earth did you feel the need to shame the poor guy on the internet?
FFS, I know people who do this type of work, on those hours. They work bloody hard at stupid time of the day.
Give the guy a break!

Original poster

BoringlyRestrictive · 03/12/2015 20:45

Because when he noticed that I wasn't happy about it he got all grumpy and told me I was just finding an excuse to have a fight and made out like I was the unreasonable one.
Because if I didn't change the bed sheets he wouldn't.

So I wanted to check. It's hardly shame when everything is anonymous....

Precious I used to have a beautiful cream bed spread. I would wash it, tumble it and get it back on in the same day cos I loved it so much.
H washed it with some colours and it got wrecked. We now have 2 identical sets of red as they seemed the only safe colour choice I refused to have black!!

OP posts:

somepeopledontknowthat · 03/12/2015 21:09

I couldn't bring myself to get worked up about it, to be honest.

Flip

1 2